I Just Want To Be
by HeartASPR
Summary: After the battle between Voldemort and Harry,Snape gets his name cleared from Azkaban.He can't walk out in public without anyone cursing at him,yelling at him,spitting on him.He wants someone to help him...someone to lean on...he just wants to be loved
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Chapter 1  
Memories and Wants  
**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or its characters…unfortunately.  This is only based on my views and not any others. There are made up characters in which I do own, but people are welcome to use them if I'm notified and mentioned. -heartaspr Warning: Contains spoilers.

Snape was having a bad day, a really bad day. He walked over to one of his armchairs in his house. He sank into it and started reflecting on the past. It was as though his memories of the past were always fresh. It was as though it was the first time he ever reflected on this. It was like his memories were haunting him.  
He closed his eyes as he remembered what happened on the night the Death Eaters arrived at Hogwarts…  
_ He blasted open the door of the Astronomy Tower, and to his astonishment, he saw the Death Eaters there. He was only expecting to see Draco there.  
"We've got a problem, Snape," he remembered Amycus telling him, "the boy doesn't seem able…" but he heard another voice. The voice was calling his name…  
"Severus…" he turned around to see Dumbledore calling his name. He pushed the Death Eaters and Malfoy aside, and stared into the eyes of Dumbledore. He secretly told Dumbledore that he didn't want to do it…that he couldn't do it, with the look in his eyes. But Dumbledore didn't listen…_

"_Severus, please…" Snape crumpled his face so that hatred and anger was shown. He slowly raised his wand so that it pointed at Dumbledore. He didn't notice the words slip out of his mouth._

"_Avada Kedavra!" He saw the jet of green light hit Dumbledore and stepped back from the body that now flew out of the Astronomy Tower window. Shocked and angry he turned around and grabbed Malfoy so that they could start running._

"_Out of here, quickly!" he remembered he ordered._

Snape let out a scream of frustration, anger and guilt.  
"AHHH!" he yelled as he suddenly got up from his armchair and pushed all the paper from his table onto the floor. He slowly sank down onto the floor crying. He supported his head with both hands and started asking himself.

"Why? Why?" he asked while crying. His cries where of pain, regret, frustration, anger, guilt, and because he was missing someone. He regretted ever becoming a Death Eater. He regretted killing, and most of all, he regretted becoming the person he had become. He was angry though, not only at himself, but at Dumbledore, his parents, and James. "Why did I do this? Why did I become a Death Eater?" he paused, as though he were expecting someone to answer these questions before he moved on. He soon realized that no one could answer him so he continued. "Why is my life like this? Why did Dumbledore want me to kill him? What have I become? Why did I have to live such a horrible past? With my parents always fighting and my…my stupid father always mocking me and hating me. We were never in peace…NEVER!" he yelled. His voice echoed in the room. Anger and hatred was now etched in his face.

He walked over to his small refrigerator, roughly pushing everything out of his way. He opened the small door and grabbed a bottle of fire-whiskey, slamming the door behind him as he walked over to sit on his table. Roughly opening the bottle, he took a huge gulp of the liquid. He felt the liquid burn inside him but he didn't flinch. That burn was not nearly as bad as the burn he now felt in his heart.

He laughed at himself as he remembered how miserable his life was now. He made a living by simply making rare potions and selling them…1 or 2 Galleons a bottle. Or if he was lucky enough, he'll be able to get 4 or 5 Galleons a bottle…but only if he's lucky. And he spend most of his day selling them at the pubs while drinking. There's nothing else left to do. He couldn't possibly show his face in public and risk being scowled at or cursed at…or even spat upon. Sure, his name was cleared…he didn't have to be sentenced to a life-time in staying in Azkaban, but that didn't change the way people thought of him. They hated him…they despised him…there were only a few people out there who really trusted him, but even those people didn't know how much he had to go through…they didn't the know true story of what happened, but of course he couldn't tell them, and he wouldn't tell them. None of them would believe him even if he did. What he wanted more than anything now was someone to understand him. He wanted someone to be there whenever he needed to talk to someone. He wanted someone to rely on. That was the last thought he had on his mind before he drifted to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Unexpectedly Reacquainted**

The next morning, Snape woke up quite suddenly and looked around him. "Damn it." He thought. The rest of his Fire-whiskey was all over the floor. His robes and pants a little drenched at the bottom because of it. He got up and walked towards the sink to get a towel. "Damn it…why do all these bad things happen to me?" he wondered. He grabbed the nearest towel and threw it to where the Fire-whiskey now laid. He walked over there and started wiping the liquid. When he finished he went to his bathroom to take a shower.

He finished showering and got out. Taking his towel, he first dried his hair, then the rest of his body. Not too long after, he realized he forgot to get new clothes so he rapped the towel around his body, and threw open the door. He went into his bedroom, opened his closet door, and took out a fresh set of clothes. A set of Black Robes, a pair of Black Pants, and of course, a Black Shirt. He changed in his bedroom, too lazy to go back to the washroom. He sighed and said,

"Time to start some work." He grabbed a few elixirs from the fridge and put it into a box. He snatched an apple, and checked to see if he had his wand with him. He would never know if a wizard would just jump right at him. He walked over to his door, unlocked it and went out.

His journey to the Hog's Head was…"normal". He was used to the fact that people would stare at him, whisper words of poison and lies to one another as he passed, and occasionally the people who would point and talk lies about him so loud, it's as if they thought he didn't have any ears. On the outside, he simply ignored all these, foolish, rude, annoying people, but in the inside, he loathed them, he wanted to yell at them, scowl at them. More than anything, he wanted to tell them the truth, but he's had quite enough experience in refraining from doing so, so he was quite good at ignoring these people.

He opened the door to the pub and walked in.

"Ah! Severus, you're usual I presume?" the bartender asked.

"Yah. Sure." He agreed gloomily. He sat down and the bartender slid his drink over to him. He placed his box of elixirs on the counter and took a sip of his drink. Meanwhile, a young lady around the age…19 or 20 was keeping a close eye on him. He was neither near nor far from her site, so she had a clear view of his every move. "That can't be him. He looks horrible." She thought to herself. "Maybe I should go over there and talk to him…No that'd be stupid. You don't just waltz over there and say _"Hello! It's been a long time since we've seen each other. You look terrible, what has happened to you?" _I can't say that…especially not to him." she argued with herself. She stared at him, mentally thinking of how she should approach him.

Snape felt someone's eyes glued onto him. He took a glance out of the corner of his eye and saw that someone was staring at him. He turned his head and was overcome by shock almost immediately._ "It can't be her. How could she see me like this."_ He panicked. He turned his head around, hoping that she didn't see him. He risked a look to see if she was coming towards him and saw that she was standing right behind him. He almost dropped his drink when he saw her.

"Um…Hello…Professor. It's um… it's been a while." She gave a nervous smile.

"_Annoying brat."_ He thought. "Yes, Miss Granger. It has." He didn't turn around to look at her; his tone of voice was clearly showing that he didn't fancy a conversation. "…and unfortunately it couldn't be longer. Out of all the students, it has to be her." He muttered under his breath.

"Mind if I…sit here…beside you…?" she asked bravely.

He looked over to his right and saw an empty seat. _"Oh whatever."_ He thought. "Yah, sure." And he moved his box of elixirs. Beaming, Hermione sat down and asked the bartender for the same drink that Severus had.

"Thank you." She said to the bartender curtly, and took a gulp. "So Professor-"

"Don't call me that. I'm not your professor anymore. Just…just call me by my name." he demanded.

"Oh! Okay…then." There was a long, painful pause before Hermione decided to speak again. "So…how have you been? Busy I presume?" she asked curiously.

"And why would you care of how well I've been?" he asked. Clearly stating he was annoyed. He turned his head to look at her. His expression was indeed telling her that he was annoyed, and wanted to be left alone.

Hermione was shocked at his rudeness. She just wanted to make friendly conversation. "Well, I just thought it'd be polite to ask how you were doing." She replied a little nervous, but also hinting that she was heating up. She looked away trying to hide the tears that were soon going to come out from her eyes because of his cold rudeness.

He grunted and looked away. Taking another sip from his drink. "I've never been better." He said lied, emphasizing the word "never", while he chuckled a cold laugh at himself. "As you can see, I'm quite…shall we say…famous, around here. People like whispering foul words to each other while I walk pass them. Telling each other words of lies and deceit. Pointing and staring, as if I'm some wild animal that's been let out from it's cage, clearly showing they wouldn't want to come near me, incase I bite their heads off. I am quite recognizable." He concluded.

"Then why don't you tell them not to stare at you? Not to talk behind your back. Not to point and gasp as you walk pass them."

"Do you think I don't want to?" he barked, and shot a deadly look at her. "Do you think I _enjoy_ all that? Do you think I haven't tried? I tried giving them deadly looks to make them regret ever talking about me, but that just made it worse. They'll go back home and start telling all their friends and family that I was inches away from their face, scowling at them ready to attack them any second. So I just learned to ignore them. My words will always be lies to them. After all, I killed the most powerful wizard of our time. I _wanted_ him dead." He said, sarcastically emphasizing the word "wanted", he was obviously referring to Dumbledore. He finished the rest of his drink in one gulp and asked for another.

"I…I'm sorry Prof-Severus. I didn't realize…I didn't mean to…is there anything I can do to help?" she offered feeling extremely sorry for the man that was sitting beside her. Yes, he was rude to her, but she couldn't forget the days when she found him always sitting alone in his dungeons at Hogwarts, his face showing nothing but sadness and worry…and maybe even…concern.

She always wondered why he had those looks, but her answer came when she read the Daily Prophet one morning and the front headlines were: _"Severus Snape Pronounced NOT GUILTY!" _it just so happened that Dumbledore had planned all this. Dumbledore told Snape to kill him, and he made a letter in excusing Snape from all accusations before he died. Hermione felt stupid because she was probably the only person who believed that this was true. Harry and Ron thought she was going mad because of the fact that she was always defending Snape whenever they had arguments. Harry and Ron of course couldn't forgive him, and they would never forgive him, especially not Harry.

"_God she is annoying! What can she do to help?"_ He thought. He sneered at her and answered:

"Why would an insufferable know-it-all such as yourself, whom probably has a well paying job, and lives life peacefully, and calmly with no worries at all, want to help a poor, bad tempered, greasy-haired git like me?" he asked. "If you are trying to be polite and act like you care for me, please don't waste your time. I don't need anyone acting right now." He took a huge gulp of his drink and started coughing.

"No Se-Severus, I really want to help you. I…well if this helps…I believe you didn't kill Dumbledore on purpose. I believe that you're innocent and that you were the one who helped Harry in destroying the Horcruxes and…and helping Harry get to Vol…Voldemort. I believe…I believe that you have good in you." She turned away getting ready for the next sudden outburst that the man sitting beside her might do.

"What-what did you say?" he asked. He was really surprised that someone would actually think "good" of him. He stared at her in shock and astonishment.

"I-I said that…I said that I know that here is good in you, and that I want to help you get other people to understand you." She confessed.

"You want to help…Me…? Wouldn't you…be…too busy with your work and all?"

"Umm…no, it'll be alright. My work is to study different types of rare or never before seen potions. And I'm supposed to make different potions for curing different things by learning what two or more types of potions to mix. What better person to come across with! You can help me…while I help you."

Somehow he knew she'd be asking for something in return. He hesitated, but soon agreed. He finally found someone to help him. He finally found someone that would care…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
Finally Home**

After a couple of drinks, Hermione finally packed up the courage to ask Severus if he could take her to his house, so that she'd be able to see where he lived, and so that she can stay somewhere for the time being.

"Umm… I hope you don't take this the wrong way…but…may I have permission to spend the rest…the rest of the day with you?" looking at Snape's startled face she quickly explained, "I mean…well…I really don't have a place to stay here…after all…my parents are Muggles, and I only had a place to stay here because I went to Hogwarts…so I don't really have a place to stay anymore…and I don't want to stay in the Hogs Head…I think you know why."

Snape was beyond startled. He was beyond shocked. He has never allowed anyone in his house, let alone a student. He has never even imagined for someone to stay in his house. He stared, wide-eyed at the young lady sitting beside him with loss of words to say. He really didn't know what to say to her…yes, he did have an extra bedroom with a bed in it… and a cabinet…it was closest to his "lab" (his lab was really part of his kitchen) so if he was working on his potions and he felt really tired, he would just be able to walk over to that bedroom and sleep there. His house wasn't big, but it wasn't small either, and he was getting lazier. He thought of the idea of her being in his house and it might be easier for her to help him whenever he needed her. So he agreed to let her stay…as long as she was true to her word and would help him even though he had to help her-again-with her potion studies, but it should be interesting.

"Umm…alright…sure…but don't think that just because I'm letting you stay you don't have to also help with the rent." He responded. He made sure he didn't sound too generous, "and don't mind the…lack of furniture and the messiness. I do brew potions, so there'll be a lot of herbs and ingredients all over the place. Oh and a lot of bottles and elixirs will be scattered here and there, but don't touch any of my stuff, unless you're given permission to do otherwise." And he looked away, asking for his bill so that he can pay for it. He received it and paid 4sickles and 3knuts.

"Thank you so much Severus! Thank you! And yes,

of course I'll help you pay with your bill. It would also be a great help with my potions work and me trying to find a way

to help you! I'm sure we'll make a great team! Thank you again!" and she asked for her bill and paid. All of a sudden, a stranger walked up to Severus. He was filthy and wore rags. It looked like he didn't take a shower for long time…it smelled like he didn't either.

"Snape!" the man belched out. "I have business to make with you!" he yelled, even though he was but inches away from Snape.

"Oh God, not you." Snape said under his breath. "And what might that be Croacher?" Snape yelled back. It was now clear to Hermione that the man was slightly deaf in his right ear.

"Got any o' dose stuff you make? It really 'elps man!" Croacher replied, walking closer to Hermione and Snape.

"Of course it helps…it's supposed to make your hearing better…as I can see it's working…slightly…" Snape muttered. "Yes Croacher, as a matter of fact, I do. Would you like me to-"but he was cut off.

"Whoa! This is a nice chick you've but here Snape!" staring at Hermione. "I didn't know ya' looked fer relationships. I always thought ya' liked bein' alone." He chuckled a hearty laugh.

Snape glanced at Hermione and his anger shot up. Hermione had turned tomato red, and looked away. Snape narrowed his eyes at Croacher and said icily through clenched teeth but loud enough for Croacher to hear,

"Watch what you say Croacher, or you can get into serious trouble…as I think you recall." Croacher knew what Snape was referring about him spreading rumors that Voldemort would try to hex half of the Ministry. If it wasn't for Snape's skills in memory charms, and secret skills, Croacher would've been sentenced for a life time in Azkaban, and Croacher found out that Snape helped him because of the fact that Croacher was a friend of Albus' brother, the bartender.

Croacher seemed to recall the incident and quickly changed the subject back to getting the elixirs. "Umm…so as I was sayin'…may I have hmm…oh whatever…may I have 3 bottles? I gotta restock you know wha' I'm sayin'? I want to hear things better again. So wha' do ya' say Snape…3 bottles fer… 5 Galleons?"

Snape did his casual "raising of his eyebrow to hint that he didn't agree" thing, and said firmly, "I will not accept anything lower than 7 Galleons." Croacher hesitated but soon agreed. He needed the elixirs. "Oh alrigh'." He reached in his left pocket and took out a few Galleons. He counted out 7 Galleons and handed it to Snape. "Here. And the elixirs?"

Snape took out 3 bottles from his box and

handed it to Croacher. "There you go."

Beaming, Croacher replied, "Pleasure doing business with ya' Snape!" and walked away happily muttering to himself.

"Pleasure." Snape answered back. He turned to count the Galleons to make sure they were real and there were really 7 Galleons. He felt Hermione staring at him, and turned to her. Again, he raised his eyebrows and asked,

"Yes?" he asked annoyed.

"Is that how you make a living?" she asked, clearly stating she was shocked, and a little disgusted.

"Yes. I don't have a choice."

Hermione turned to grab her stuff and muttered,

"We clearly have a lot of things to work on."

They both turned to the street Snape lived on. It was really quiet…too quiet…it made Hermione shiver because she was used to all the noise from the city, but this street seemed deserted.

"You really like quiet places don't you." Hermione said.

"I don't like children much, and I don't like noise. I like being isolated and away from people."

"Maybe you should get around to talking to more people. It'll do you much better."

"I am talking to "people". I'm talking to you aren't I…and I talked to Croacher…However painful it was…"

Hermione ignored this. They reached the front of his door and Snape opened it. They walked in and Hermione just stood their wide-eyed and shocked. It was still in the mess Snape had left it the night before, when he had his "emotional swing". Chairs were turned over onto its side, the table was pushed aside, papers were scattered everywhere on the floor, and the bottle of the empty fire-whiskey was still lying on the floor on its side. She motioned to pick up a few papers when Snape stopped her.

"I told you NOT to touch ANYTHING unless you're told to do otherwise."

"I know and I'm sorry. But you must understand that I come from a very…clean and tidy family. I am just trying to help you clean-."

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME…CLEAN. I AM QUITE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT MYSELF! I'M NOT STUPID! BUT OF COURSE, WITH YOU BEING AN INSUFFERABLE KNOW-IT-ALL, YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHOW ME HOW TO CLEAN MY OWN HOUSE!" and Snape took out his wand and with a flick of his wrist, everything was put back into order. All the chairs were upright, the tables were cleaned and straightened, the empty bottle in the disposable can, and all the papers in a neat pile on the table. He turned on his heel at stared at Hermione's tearing face. He was stunned. He knew he hurt her, and he shouldn't have yelled at her like that, but has never felt this way before. It was a feeling he never had. He always yelled at and scowled at students and other people, and he never felt bad about it. He also always rudely responded or demanded something to people, but he looked at the beautiful, innocent young lady standing in front of him crying silently, and he felt horrible. He felt as if he was just punched in the stomach 10 million times. Suddenly he heard a small whisper from Hermione.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help." And she turned around crying as she walked into the nearest room she could find, which happened to be Severus bedroom.

Snape was rooted to the ground from which he was standing upon. He couldn't move, and he didn't know what to do. Had he really hurt that much? He always called her an insufferable know-it-all, so she must've been used to that…and he's never yelled at her, but he still rudely talked to her. He sighed wondering what he should do now. He wanted to comfort her and apologize for what he did, but that would be none Snape like. He stood there mentally fighting with himself. He should go in and comfort her…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Questions**

Snape sighed and decided that he should go in the room and talk to Hermione. Even though his gut was telling him that he was being foolish, and he was not being himself. He strode over to his bedroom and heard soft sniffs coming from inside the room. He knocked on the half-opened door and whispered,

"Miss Granger."

Hermione didn't turn to look at him but walked over to the window, sniffling silently with one hand on her face wiping her tears.

"Miss Granger…" he sighed. "Miss Granger, please. I'm really sorry, and I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm…I'm just not used to other people being in my house. You must understand that your presence will take some time to get accustomed to. I hope you understand and I hope you forgive me." He stopped talking and waited for a reply. Seeing as he didn't get any, he turned around to walk out of the room. He was just about out of the room when he stopped in his tracks as Hermione said his name, but he didn't turn around to acknowledge her.

"Severus, I…I forgive you, but you must also understand that it isn't easy for me too. I also have to get accustomed and used to your presence, and occasionally, your scowls, and rudeness. I am just trying to help you. I also want you to understand that your name callings must stop. I endured them while I was in school, but it is getting more and more difficult. I cannot help it if I enjoy being filled with facts…that is just how I am. I don't try to be an "insufferable know-it-all" and I don't want to be one either."

Snape didn't know what to say. No one has ever tried to tell him to do something, especially never from a woman. Maybe Professor McGonagall, and his mother, but that's about it. He considered fighting back for a moment, but decided otherwise, so he just turned his head to look at Hermione, and he left the room. He made sure, that he would never forget what she requested him to do. Even though it hurt him a lot to think he was "caring" for the girl. He walked over to the refrigerator in the kitchen and took out a bottle of fire-whiskey. He sat on the chair in front of the table and took a swig of the drink. His right hand was supporting his head and his left hand was holding the bottle.

"_What is going on with me? I'm probably just really shocked that I've met her, and that she's in my house right now…that's probably It."_ he assured himself. He sighed a heavy sigh and took another gulp.

Hermione waited for a few minutes to reassure that her face was completely clear of tears before she walked out of the room. She walked slowly and quietly and saw Snape sitting at the table vigorously drinking his beer. _"He should really stop drinking. It'll do him some good."_ She walked over to him silently and placed a gentle yet firm hand on his shoulder. She could tell he was shocked as he turned and jerked away from her touch.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S BEARD ARE YOU-." But he stopped remembering what he had promised himself, "Sorry, I mean…please don't just walk up behind me and scare me like that." He turned away in disgust of himself.

"It is quite alright. Like we both said, 'This will need to be accustomed and get used to.' So I will be patient. I hope you will too." She replied.

"Yeah." Was all he could say. There was a long pause and Snape started to talk again, "You'll be sleeping in there." And he pointed to the extra bedroom in which he occasionally slept in. "I took the liberty as to bringing your baggage and boxes into the room." He finished the drink and got up to walk over to the refrigerator to get another. Hermione quickly sped towards the fridge and pushed the door close just when Snape opened it. "What are you doing? I want another drink!" he said irritably.

"I will refuse to let you drink. You've had enough already."

"Move aside."

"No."

"Move!"

"No. I shall not move until you promise me you will not drink anymore tonight." She insisted.

"Why do you care whether I drink or not?"

"Because I promised you that I will help you, and I shall keep that promise."

"You promised you will help me…that doesn't mean you have to care about me."

"No it doesn't, but I choose to care for you because if I don't, who knows what mess you'll end up in."

He stared at her, both wide-eyed and angry. He didn't really feel like arguing anymore so he backed away and sat on one of the armchairs that were in front of the fireplace. She walked over to him and sat on the armchair opposite him. There was a moments silence before she opened her mouth and said, "Would you care to tell me a little bit about your story? What have you been doing all these years? How have you been… "Surviving"?"

He didn't look at her but said, "I believe it is getting late, and I'm getting tired. It has been a long day, and I think we both need the rest." And he got up from the armchair and went into the bedroom to get his night clothes and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. After he was done showering and dressing, he went out and to his dismay, Hermione was still there sitting on the armchair. Apparently, she was deep in thought so he didn't bother to disturb her. He turned on his heel and walked quietly towards his bedroom and turned off the light.

"_What is he avoiding?" _she thought. She was frustrated and tired, but she still couldn't make herself get up, shower and go to sleep. She sat for what seemed like hours penetrating on the same question, but soon decided to retire from the thought and got up to take a shower and sleep.

By the time Snape heard the door of the other room close, and the lights turn off, it was 12:43 in the morning. He didn't know why he avoided her questions, and maybe thought it was because of the lack of respect that came from her, and maybe because he wasn't ready to answer someone that question yet, as he was quite comfortable not telling anyone. He knew he wouldn't be able to avoid that question for long, but he would try to avoid it the longest he can, or at least until he was ready. He turned over on his bed to his side, and slowly drifted to sleep, but at the same time, he wondered what kinds of adventures would be in store for him tomorrow.

Hermione still lay in her bed (or rather Snape's bed). Because she just couldn't sleep. Why did he avoid her questions? Maybe she was a little…disrespectful and inconsiderate…I mean she didn't really take it easy on him. She just kinda…blurted the questions out, but she couldn't help it…she really wanted to know, and she's gonna have to know sooner or later if he really wanted her to help him. She still laid there, millions of questions still buzzing in her mind. _"What happened to him?" "He was there at the battle wasn't he?" "What did he see or do that could be too much to bear, that he couldn't even tell me?" "Why did I even volunteer to help him?" "He did help Harry, and the rest of the Order…didn't he?" "What adventure have I gotten myself into again?"_

Snape woke up at around 4:00 in the morning, being as he always found it hard to sleep, because of nightmares and such. He stayed in his bed for about another hour before getting up and brushing his teeth. After finishing that, he went into the kitchen to retrieve a few herbs and ingredients needed to brew the many potions he always needed. He retrieved them and went into his lab. He started to set his fire and place his cauldron on top of it. After it was all set, he started to place the ingredients in it while slowly stirring the contents in the cauldron. Minutes later, he finished adding all of the ingredients, and just waited for the elixirs to boil into its final state. Snape sat on a chair and shut his eyes to wait for it to boil, but he was soon disturbed by a loud crash of breaking glass. Startled, he turned around to see Hermione wide awake, and throwing out all of his fire-whiskey.

"WHAT! WHAT THE…! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING? I WAS GOING TO DRINK ALL OF THOSE SOONER OR LATER, AND I BOUGHT ALL OF THOSE, AND YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO THROW THEM OUT!" but Hermione acted like he wasn't even there, and continued to chug the liquid down the sink and throw out the empty glass bottle in a garbage bag. "STOP! STOP, YOU'RE…MY FIRE-WHISKEY! IT'S THE ONLY THING I'VE GOT THAT'LL MAKE ME SLEEP! STOP IT!" but Hermione merely turned to give him a glance and said "Then brew a sleeping draught, I'm pretty sure you're capable of that, 'Oh Great, Almighty Master of Potions.'" And she turned back to her… "Task".

He rolled his eyes at her mockery "I SAID…STOP!" and he glided over to her and grabbed her arm as she was about to snatch another bottle. She spun around because of the impact of his grasp, and gasped. She steadied herself by putting the other hand on his chest, while giving a sharp, shocked intake of breath. She stared into the eyes of the man in front of her. Severus' eyes began with sternness and anger, but as she continued to stare at him wide-eyed, he lowered his glare into a curious stare. They continued to stare at each other-both in shock but at the same time trying to read each other's eyes-for quite some time until Snape realized that she was still in his grasp and released her, looking away. Hermione still stood there for a fraction of a second before realizing she had been released. She quickly turned around as she felt she was turning tomato red and her face was heating up. "I…I'll just…umm…Well I guess I can umm…save you some then…" she stuttered as she was busily occupying herself with putting the 5 bottles of fire-whiskey that were left into the refrigerator. "Err… Yeah. Thanks." Was all Snape could reply back to her. Remembering he was brewing the elixirs, he quickly strode over to his cauldron, thanking the Gods that it was alright.

He opened one of the closest cupboards and took out 7 empty bottles, and poured the contents equally into all of them. He then muttered a cleaning charm to clean his cauldron _"Directium Cleanentio"_ and the cauldron was sparkling clean. He relaxed as he corked all the bottles and placed them on the counter.

"Would you like me to help you?" Hermione asked. She was still a little startled from the little…incident that happened with the fire-whiskey. Snape spun around startled.

"Jesus child, you really have to stop doing that. And no thank you. I'm finished here, and I don't know about you, but I'm quite hungry."

"Yes, I am too. Would you like to…go out? Or stay in here. I could…cook if you like."

He raised his eyebrow and smirked, "And risk you setting my house on fire? No thank you."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "I'm pretty sure I can cook as well as you can…if not…even better!" she smiled slyly. It was obvious that she was egging him on.

He kept his eyebrow raised, "Would you like a bet then? If I cook for you and I don't set my house on fire, _and_ it tastes…reasonable to your taste, you'll owe me something, anything that I wish for you to give me. If I lose, even though it's highly unlikely," he smirked, "I'll answer any of your questions."

Hermione gave a disbelieving laugh but quickly disguised it as a cough, "Fine," she said without hesitation, "I'll take your bet." She turned around on her heel and placed herself neatly on a chair in front of the table. Her faced made it very clear to Severus that she didn't believe he was capable enough of doing so, and was waiting for him to start. Snape stared at her for a second, and then gave a wider smile.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Confessions and Answers**

He spun around rolling up his sleeves as if he was a professional chef. He took out a few pots and pans, a full set of cooking knives, a chopping board, plates, bowls, etc… if he was going to prove to her that he could cook, he would do it the Muggle way. He didn't even have to look to see that Hermione was stunned. He was pretty sure she didn't expect him to cook Muggle way. He silently smirked as he walked over to the refrigerator to get his ingredients.

While everything was cooking, he took the time to set the table. He wanted everything to be perfect, and what he wanted more, was for Hermione to be blown away, so he told her to go out to Flourish and Blotts to get a few Rare Herbs and Potions books. Once she was gone, he took out his wand. He wasn't going to use it for cooking, but he could use it for decorating. He conjured up a red table cloth that had golden stars decorating the border, two long white candles that stood on either end of the long table, and decent plates that were, too, decorated in red, that had a matching set of cutlery. He stepped back to enjoy his creation, and he too noticed that he was surprised that he was actually…enjoying this. He was enjoying this challenge, and he actually decorated his house with colours other than black. He sighed, "She's getting to me. Just two days with that…_young lady_ and she's already getting to me."

He walked over to the stove and checked if everything was alright. He placed everything on the plates and garnished it with herbs for the final touches. Just when he placed the plates on the table Hermione walked in through the door. He quickly strode over to her and helped her put the books on to the side table. He blocked the doorway so that she wouldn't be able to go anywhere further.

"What…what are you doing? Let me through!"

"I'm sorry Miss. Granger, but I don't think I will allow that."

"What? Why?"

He walked behind her and whispered in her ear, "Because this is a surprise." And with that he took out a black blind fold and wrapped it around Hermione's head. She gave a small startled gasp as he secured the blind fold behind her head. Once he was done, he again bent down and whispered in her ear, "I'm sure you'll be pleased. I will guide you towards the table and onto your chair." And he took her hand and gracefully guided her to her place at one end of the table. He let go of her hand and she stood there beside her chair, waiting for his next move. She then moved behind her and soft but firmly took her shoulders. He guided her gently to sit on her chair in front of her dish. Even if she couldn't see the dish in front of her, she could smell it, and it smelled so nicely. She could smell each and every single herb he put on the plate. Some of them smelled sweet and welcoming, but some smelled bitter, but pleasant at the same time._ "Bittersweet." _she thought, and smiled.

She felt Severus' hands untangle the knot from the blindfold she had on her eyes. He untangled the knot, but still held it so that it still covered her eyes. Again, he bent down to whisper in her ear, "I'm sure you'll be amazed." He stood up and smirked, pleased with himself. She shivered as he said this, but sat there, waiting for the blindfolds to come off. Slowly, the blindfold fell off her eyes and she gasped. She looked out in front of her and saw the beautiful garnished dish filled with delicious food.

He smiled even wider as he heard her gasp, and he walked over to his place at the other end of the table, placed himself neatly on his chair, looked at her and smiled. The candles were lit and made the usual cold, dark, room now lit and warm. He rested his head on his hand as though waiting for her to start eating, or say something. He stared at her; he could see she was shocked.

"This…This is…"she stopped remembering that if she gave into to this bet, she would've automatically lost. _"No,"_ she thought, _"I must not give in. Who knows what he'd make me do."_ She's never seen such beautifully garnished, and food that smelled so good before even eating it from a Muggle, let alone a Wizard. She cleared her voice and continued, "This is…well…the presentation is quite satisfactory," She commented, hiding the shock and amazement. If he was going to win, she could at least play around before he does. "Now all we have to do is taste it. Of course…that is a _very_ important part of this… _'Game'_ is it not?" and she smirked. His chin was still on his hand acting like he was very bored, but he also looking rather amused. He could sense her astonishment in her voice as she was trying to hide it and he couldn't help but smirk. _"Gryffindors." _He thought.

She motioned for her fork and knife to give the hint that they can start eating.

"Would you like something to drink?" Snape asked.

"Do you have anything but Fire-whiskey?" she replied.

He chuckled. "Yes, I do." He walked over to his refrigerator and took out a chilled bottle of Muggle ice wine, and two chilled glasses. "Since you are…Muggle born," he paused to look at her and smirk at her expression on her face. She was taken aback. "I thought it would make you feel more… 'At home' if I were to cook Muggle food. I find Muggle food and Muggle drinks nothing like Wizard food and drinks, but no matter. After all, you are the guest in my house." And he walked over to where she sat, placed a chilled glass on the table, and poured the sweet ice wine in her glass. He walked over to his spot and did the same thing. He sat down and picked up his glass to make a toast.

"To a hopeful and innocent future."

Hermione did the same and raised her glass. "To a peaceful life." And they both took a sip, and placed their glass down.

"Ok, let's begin eating; I'd like to hear the sweet sounds of my victory when you enjoy eating this dinner."

--After the Dinner--

Snape and Hermione were enjoying the rest of their ice wine and were sitting in front of the fire in Snape's fireplace. Hermione was sitting comfortably on his sofa, and Snape was sitting quite stiffly in one of his armchairs. He still wasn't used to another body in his house. He swirled the fluid in his glass and took a sip.

Snape broke the silence, "I'm sure you can agree with me in saying that I have won this-as you say-'game'."

Hermione didn't say anything. She didn't know if she should tell him he won that easily.

"I'll take your silence as a yes then." He smirked. He was really satisfied at himself. He showed that Muggle born that he was better than most Muggle chefs. Thank God he watched his Muggle mother cook when he was younger. But then again, there was nothing else he could do except for locking himself in his room, or playing with his potions set. His father was always either out drinking and making a fool out of himself, or at home screaming and yelling and (of course) drunk. Snape soon realized that his father was nothing but a fool, so he learned to take care of his mother and love her.

"I never said anything. I never said you won." Said Hermione.

"Yes, but you know I won."

"Oh whatever. Yes, I'm impressed. I never knew you could cook so well with magic let alone without magic. Are you happy now?" she paused, and then asked, "How did you do it? How did you learn to cook so well?"

He looked at her with a puzzled look.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I never thought any wizard could cook Muggle, but you cook it so well."

"Well, you underestimate us Wizards."

They both paused. Snape paused because he didn't know what else to say. Hermione paused because she was expecting an answer.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Why must you have a hunger to know so many things that might not even have anything to do for you?"

"WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS AVOID MY QUESTIONS? She yelled.

"That is irrelevant to my question. Why must you have a hunger to know so many things?" he repeated.

"Ugh! You're hopeless." And Hermione shot up from her chair and left the living room to go into her room.

Snape wondered what she meant by that. What did he do? He didn't answer her questions but that didn't make him hopeless. He WASN'T hopeless, and he WASN'T a coward. This time, he wasn't going to feel sorry for her. He couldn't do it again. It would be too un-Slytherin like. He's always hated that ignorant little Mudblood, with her annoying hand always waving up in the air begging for permission to answer. God she hated her, and yet, she was in his house, eating his cooking and food, drinking his drinks, using his bedroom and sleeping in his bed, and also, sitting on his chairs and sofas, sharing the warmth and light that came from the fireplace. How DARE she call him hopeless! Who does she think she is? He walked over to the closed door to her room, and knocked. He waited for a couple of seconds for an answer, but he didn't get any so he just said what he had to say to her.

"Well, I know you're in there…Miss. Granger, and I'd just like to say, since we both agree that I've WON…" he made sure he belched the word "won" out just to rub it in before he continued, "You should be aware that you're part of the bargain has to be paid. I will think of something decent for you to do for me that pass MY satisfactory." He couldn't help but make an evil grin on his face. He was having A LOT of fun. "And since you have already agreed to do whatever I please, then you will have no choice, but to do whatever I tell you to do. I still don't know what it is, but I will think of something sooner or later. I will warn you, it could be from taking Veritaserum to answer any of my questions-and I won't tell you how long the truth potion will work-to doing different tasks for me for 5 days a week for a month." A wider smile had spread across his face, when the door was snapped open. Hermione stood there in the doorway glaring at Snape. She was inches away from his sneering face. He looked down his crooked nose and smirked in her face. He enjoyed making her mad, just something about her reactions made him laugh but he tried really hard to keep the laugh inside.

She glared at him and said, "I…will NOT…be frightened or let down…because of YOU…anymore." She paused and looked away. Snape could see the side of her face, and he saw that she looked as if she were about to cry. "Did you know, that every day…every single day that I was in your dungeons, I've had to bare all your foul name callings, and rude comments…but not anymore Snape…NOT ANYMORE!" she motioned to turn around, walk back into the room and close the door, but before she did that, she stopped and looked at Snape again, and said,

"I find it very hard to understand you Severus. You are very unpredictable. One minute, you're very nice, welcoming, and caring, and then the next minute, you turn back to your usual foul, arrogant, foolish self. I'd actually be really surprised if anyone can understand you." She paused so that she could let everything sink in before continuing. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes were watery and her voice was soft,

"I like the Severus Snape that's not rude and foul. I like the Severus Snape that cares for people and opens his arms and doors to his house to welcome somebody whom you hate so much to live with because that person doesn't have a place to stay. I like the Severus Snape that is willing to have fun once and a while, and show his insecurity and fear and not just hide it underneath your scowls and sneers. I like the Severus Snape that can show other feelings than anger and hatred, and occasionally take off the many masks and layers you put up so that you can hide who you really are." She paused and stared in Severus' eyes. "I like the Severus Snape that's not afraid to love. And quite frankly, I'm pretty sure everyone would."

And with that, she turned into her room and closed the door. Severus stayed rooted to the spot in front of the now closed door. He heard the lights turn off but he still couldn't move. Severus didn't know how he felt. He had a mixture of feelings that he has never experienced before. He was obviously angry with the fact that she thought she could tell him off like that…and call him FOOLISH? He really needs to speak with her about who the superior one in the house is. He DOES NOT tolerate anyone who's called him "foolish" or a "coward". He also felt sad because he didn't know how much he hurt her. Sure, he knew he was hurting her with his name callings but he didn't know it hurt her that much. Also, somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he felt guilty, guilty for bringing such pain to her because he knew how it felt to be teased. He too had experienced the rude gestures and mean comments. He too felt triumphant in a way. He thought that she deserved to be sad and put down. He thought everyone should be deserved to do feel that way. It wasn't fair. He felt even more triumphant with the fact that HE was the one this time to bring someone down.

But amongst all these feelings, the one he felt the most, was confusion. He was confused. He didn't know why he cared so much of how she felt. After all, she was that filthy mudblood, that insufferable know-it-all, that annoying little brat that always had her hand up in the air to answer questions. He hated her, but he still welcomed her in his house. He still had many conversations with her-many civilized, proper conversations with her. He cooked for her, and offered her drinks. He let her sleep in HIS room, and stay in HIS house. He also offered to HELP her. _"Out of all people…her. It had to be her. I would've chosen to help the Weasley girl instead of HER."_ He thought. _"Why do I care so much about her and how she feels? Why SHOULD I care so much about her and how she feels?" "She's getting to me. Wait. Why am I LETTING her get to me? Oh my God, I must be hallucinating or something. I think I need a rest." _And with that, he slowly and stiffly walked over to his room, closed the door and shut off the lights. Tomorrow is going to be a very long and painful day…

--Authors Notes--

Heyy!! I hope you guys like this chapter. It was very interesting and fun to write, especially the part where Severus teases Hermione. The next chapter should be interesting and fun to write too! Oh, and just for reference, it's almost Christmas.

What's going to happen in the next chappy? Heehee, well only I know.xP why don't you guess. xP. Please R&R

-heartaspr

Xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Dreams**

"No! No! I'm sorry. Please, don't make me do this. I can't…stop, please. Please, no don't make me promise…NO PLEASE! ALBUS YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO THIS!" Severus shot up from his bed panting and sweating. He had another dream…or rather…another one of his memories.

He sat there in his bed reflecting on his nightmare and closed his eyes as though he were in pain…

_Snape walked into the Headmaster's office in the second year that Potter was at Hogwarts._

"_Ahh…Severus, thank you for coming. We have a lot to discuss. Please take a seat." And Dumbledore motioned to the seat in front of his desk. Severus walked towards the chair cautiously, and sat in it, staring at the Headmaster rather suspiciously. The last time he was asked to speak to the headmaster in private in the headmaster's office, he had been a Death Eater. He didn't like to recall the memory of talking to possibly the most purest and wisest wizard of their time, at a time where he was maybe one of the darkest and dumbest wizard of their time. (Alongside Lord Voldemort of course) Dumbledore sat behind his desk smiling his usual knowing but rather energetic and happy smile. He clasped his hands together before speaking._

"_Severus, I have invited you here to ask a favor from you." Dumbledore began. "I know that seeing your rival's son every year at Hogwarts and teaching him your knowledge has pained you immensely…" he chuckled, and Severus raised his eyebrow, acknowledging the fact that it was hard protecting that fool of a boy, but sat there quite stiffly, "but I'm rather quite…shocked yet understanding with the fact that you have saved Harry's life time and time again in his first year at Hogwarts and countless times after that. The Quidditch match was quite terrifying...as was the little fiasco in the Shrieking Shack." Dumbledore concluded, and he waited for some sort of response from Severus. His wait was greeted with a soft grunt. He chuckled even more, "I would like to tell you how much I appreciate your willing to step out from those dark and painful memories and help protect the one, whom you and I both know, will destroy the most darkest wizard of all time." Dumbledore nodded his head in thanks._

_There was a moment of silence before Dumbledore began to speak again, "I know you only did it because you feel the need to repay James Potter for protecting you in your school years. However painful it was, you concluded in the end…you admitted to yourself that your enemy-James-had saved your life. It takes a great amount of courage to do so, especially to your enemy, but like they say, 'Keep you friends close, but your enemies closer.' Am I not correct?" Snape turned away from Dumbledore's stare in disgust with himself. "I know it's hard Severus. Thank you again…" seeing as Severus would not respond to any of Dumbledore's making of friendly conversation, he just went straight to what he wanted to talk about._

"_Well, I think that is enough friendly conversation for now, Severus. Like I have said, I have a favor to ask of you. I ask that you will continue to help protect Harry in anyway possible. As you know, there are going to be dark times ahead, and he will need you to be there to help him. I am not asking you to play bunny rabbits and sunshine with him, but at least be there to protect him from any danger he may experience in the near future." Severus didn't know what to say. How could he help that insolent fool with so much pride in him you can see it in his eyes? "Just like his father" Severus thought. "Just like his foolish, stupid, arrogant father." _

"_I know it's going to prove very difficult to you Severus, but please, you have to help us, you have to set aside the past…" Dumbledore paused and looked at Severus sternly, "you have to help Harry."_

"_With all do respect Headmaster; I think Potter has enough protection from you. I mean, he doesn't need another Professor to protect him if he has you. After all, I'm sure you know, the only wizard that the Dark Lord has ever feared was and remains to still be…you." Severus shuddered as he caught himself still calling Lord Voldemort by "The Dark Lord". A name only his followers, his servants…a name only Death Eaters used._

"_Yes Severus. I am quite aware that given my added protection, Harry could be even…shall we say…untouchable? But if Harry is given your extra protection, I and many other people can rest assured that Harry will be safe." He paused, and then said, "Severus, you are like my son. I treat you like my only son, the son I never had, because of how we came to know each other. I would never ask you to do anything I thought would cause you danger, or would put your life at great risk. So please, help me…help Harry…help everyone. Promise me you'll protect Harry from the dark times ahead…no matter what."_

_Snape hesitated for a while before accepting, "Fine." Was all he said. "Well, Headmaster," Snape said, acting as though Dumbledore just asked him to attend a tea party, "if this is all, I would like to retire to my dungeons. Today has been quite a hectic day, with preparing for the school work I'll be giving to the little brats that pay no attention in my class."_

_Dumbledore laughed, "Yes the students tend not to listen do they? But I'm sure you can capture their attention by a mere glance at their direction." He gave a hearty laugh before continuing, "But there is just one more thing I ask of you. Severus, you promise to do everything as I say, no matter what it is?"_

"_Of course Headmaster." Severus nodded._

"_Even if I tell you to kill me?"_

_Severus was stunned and, his eyes widened in shock. Yes, he had been a Death Eater, and has destroyed numerous amounts of families and lives, but he too treated Dumbledore like his father. The father that he didn't have. "I…I can't. No, not that."_

"_Severus there will come a time, where you will have to do it in order to follow my instructions as to protecting Harry-"_

"_No! I refuse to kill you." Severus interrupted._

"_My dear boy, do you think you will have a choice?" _

_And then, suddenly, the scene from the Astronomy Tower in Harry's 6__th__ year slowly tip-toed into his mind._

_Severus' mind drifted to the same memory of shooting the "Avada Kedavra curse"_

_Snape wanted to tell Dumbledore that he wouldn't do it, but how? HOW? It was hard to admit, but Dumbledore too was as hard-headed as the Potter boy. Whatever Dumbledore wanted done, must be done. No matter how terrible it was to bear, no matter how the other people or person would think or feel about it in the end._

_He blasted through the doors of the Astronomy Tower and saw Dumbledore standing there cornered by Death Eaters._

"_No" Severus panicked, "No this can't be happening." Then he heard Dumbledore's voice, _

"_Severus…"_

_Snape shot a glance towards Dumbledore. Fury and anger heating up in his face. "NO! I refuse to do kill him. I can't."_

"_Severus please…"_

_Before he knew it, Dumbledore was flying out of the Astronomy Tower._

"_He's dead." Haunted the little voice in his head._

"_He's dead because of you."_

Severus opened his eyes the events of that night still running through his mind. After a few minutes of agony, he got up from the bed and took a nice, warm shower.

Hermione had heard Severus' cries in the night. The questions still flying in and out in her mind. _"What does he mean by he can't do it? Is he talking to Dumbledore? What did Dumbledore want him to do that was too unbearable? What the bloody hell is he talking about? Severus Snape begging?_ Whilst she lay there, she heard Snape heading for the bathroom, and she heard the shower turn on. She looked over to the table and found her watch. "Bloody hell, he wakes up so early. It's 5:30 a.m.!" and with that, she rolled over and off the bed and got onto her feet. She collected her clothes she was going to wear and waited for Severus to step out of the washroom.

Not too long after, she heard the door of the washroom open and so she went out of her room and walked towards the washroom. Just as she arrived there, Snape came out. His hair was still wet and dripping from his shower.

"Good Morning." She whispered.

He gave a brief look at her nodded in response and strode over to his bedroom; his towel clutched in his hand.

"Good Morning to you too _Miss. Granger_" Hermione mocked, as though she were Snape, and answering her greeting. She sighed and walked in to take her shower. The bathroom smelled sweet. It smelled as though Jasmine and Sakura leaves were blooming wild and freely in there. _"It must be his use of shampoo or something." _She thought. She laughed at the thought of Snape taking a shower with light pink Sakura pedals and pure white Jasmine flowers.

In the kitchen, Snape sat with a glass of potions in his hand that he had brewed up after he came out of the shower. He sat down in front of the fireplace and took a sip of the red and orange coloured fluid that was in the glass. He instantly relaxed as he swallowed the contents. The potion he brewed was for calming his nerves and his mind. It tasted sour and bitter at first, but as he began to relax, the contents tasted sweet.

"Severus," Hermione said, interrupting his thoughts. "I was wondering if we could start on some research for some different potions." Severus just sat there still looking at the fireplace and taking sips of his potion.

"Whatever you wish Miss. Granger." he replied.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" she asked.

"No." was all he said. He didn't like to carry on conversations, especially not with his former students.

"Would you like to have some breakfast?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Ok." She turned around and went back to her room. Snape still sat there finishing the rest of his potion. He was much more relaxed now and he was starting to feel a little bit hungry. 10 minutes later, Hermione came in hair tied up into a ponytail and she wore a beige leather jacket which went along perfectly with her faded jeans and white t-shirt.

"Well?" she asked as if she was his mother, and was waiting for him to explain something he did.

He looked at her questioningly. "Well what?"

"Are you going to dress up or what?"

"What do you mean 'dress up'?" he asked quizzically.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm famished. And I've been cooped up in here enough, I need some fresh air."

"What are you talking about? You just went out yesterday to purchase a few books." He answered, clearly stating he didn't want to go anywhere. "And how could you be famished? I've fed you an incredibly decent meal, which was very filling."

"Yes, but I feel the need to go to a restaurant at the moment, so please, hurry up."

Severus rolled his eyes in disbelief. He reluctantly got up and went to his room. A few minutes later, he came back into the living room, again, wearing all black.

"Happy now?" he asked.

"Umm…not quite."

"And what may I do for you now milady." He asked, mocking a bow. Hermione chuckled and she threw her chin up as if she were a queen and said,

"Go and fetch me my shoes, and make haste before we miss the special lunch deal at the Hogs Head." She said and flicked her hand like she was ordering one of her butlers to do something.

He stifled a laugh and got up from his bow and replied,

"Nice try. Get them yourself. So really, are you satisfied now?"

"No. You're choice of clothing and colours pains me. Can't you choose anything other than black clothing. And perhaps something other than a pair black pants, a black shirt, and black robes. Oh and perhaps get rid of those black shoes."

"Miss. Granger, I believe it is not in your place to tell me what and what not to wear. I choose to wear _black pants, black shirts, a black robe, and these pair of black shoes._" He shot back.

"But why? Why do you choose to wear these? Why do you always linger in the dark? Why must you always wear black and have a sneer on your face? Why do you enjoy bringing peoples' spirits down?"

Severus swooped over to her and roughly grabbed her by the shoulders, "I choose to wear these because it makes me comfortable. I want to wear these, so if you have a problem with it, deal with it yourself. I don't bring peoples' spirits down, they just do not live up to my standard, therefore I have to let them know."

"Not everyone has to live up to your standards." And she pushed her way out of his strong grasp. "And I'm sure that's not the real reason."

"You wouldn't understand the real reason even if I told you. You're just some silly girl." And he walked away from her and opened his front door. Hermione stood there shocked for a while until Snape told her to move along.

"Well, are you coming or not?" he said impatiently.

Hermione snapped out of her trance and swiftly pushed her way out of the doorway. She nudged her elbow into Severus, showing her how angry she was. He clutched his stomach,

"Ouch that hurt!" Hermione merely ignored him and continued walking.

--At the restaurant--

There was mere silence when they walked through the door of the Hogs Head. Every head was turned there way.

Hermione-feeling a little awkward said,

"A table for two please." And the bartender hastily motioned them over to a far seat in the corner.

"Umm…is there another spot? It's so dark and cold here, I think I'd like to be somewhere near the middle-."

"She doesn't know what she's talking about." Severus interrupted, "It wouldn't be the first time." He said looking down his crooked nose at her. He sneered and turned his head back at the bartender, "This spot will be just fine."

The bartender nodded and flicked his hand. In an instant, two menus popped out of thin air and landed in front of Hermione and Severus. Hermione picked her menu up and read it, whilst Severus waited until the bartender left them. As Hermione was already ready to order, she placed her menu down, crossed her arms on her chest and glared at Snape (Whom was still flicking through pages in the menu)

Snape could feel Hermione's eyes on him, but he acting like she didn't even exist. He just kept flicking through torn and dirtied pages in the menu looking for something decent to eat. He was surprised the Hogs Head sold Hamburgers and Hot Dogs. He hasn't eaten one in ages, and he thought it would be nice to try one again. At last, he was ready to order, but he still felt the uneasiness of Hermione's eyes glaring at him. He slowly placed his menu gently on the table, leaned back in his chair, crossed his hands on his chest and glared back into Hermione's eyes as if he were challenging her to dare to continue.

Hermione now felt the uneasiness of his glare. As he met her eyes, she knew it would be hard to keep her stare in the same position, but she refused to let it go.

Snape suddenly laughed and said, "Very good Miss. Granger, you're learning to fight me." The bartender shuffled across to their table and asked to take their order.

"May I take your order?"

Hermione was the first to answer, she was still staring at Severus' now amused face while she answered the bartender.

"I would like to have just pasta with tomato sauce thank you."

"Alright." And the floating quill started to write on the pad of paper floating underneath it.

"Anything to drink madam?"

"Yes, butterbeer." She replied.

"And you monsieur?"

Severus, whom was still amused at Hermione's braveness, answered the bartender while too staring at Hermione.

"I'll just have a hamburger."

The quill started writing vigorously at the moment Severus started talking.

"Is that all?"

"No. I'll have a…" his evil sneer widened at Hermione as he continued, "A fire whiskey." Hermione was on the verge of exploding. Didn't she just tell him not to drink too much? _"Ughh! Why do you care Hermione?"_ she asked herself.

The bartender nodded and left.

"Are you ever going to stop staring at me? Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not polite to stare?"

"Yes, but she isn't here right now is she?" Hermione answered through clenched teeth.

"Oh dear, Hermione Granger breaking the rules? It must be my dying day." He joked.

"Oh, I can easily arrange that if you'd like." She replied.

"Why are you mad at me? I don't think you have the authority to be mad at me."

"Oh no, _no one _has the _authority_ to do _anything_ around you."

"You are really, an ignorant little girl."

"I AM NOT…A LITTLE GIRL." She said louder through clenched teeth. "I think you owe me an apology."

"I don't _owe_ anyone anything."

"No, you owe me an apology." she insisted.

"God! If it'll make you feel better, fine! I'm _terribly, sorry _for calling you a little girl."

"Thank you. You know, you've changed a lot."

"Oh, well that's not a good sign."

"You make subtle jokes, something I thought you weren't capable of. I thought "joking" and "having fun" weren't in your vocabulary."

"Well, you told…well, rather…demanded me to 'treat you with respect', so I suppose I can make you feel bad using a joke or two."

She laughed, and a few minutes later, their food arrived.

--In Severus' house--

Severus' cauldron was steaming and bubbling. He had asked Hermione to make a simple calming of the nerves potion. (well, it wasn't simple, but for an advanced potion maker it was quite easy) Hermione added the chopped Devil's Leaves into the cauldron and the water stopped bubbling and rose tiny steams almost immediately. Severus was towering over Hermione, watching her every move to make sure she was adding the right ingredients at the right time, and adding the right amount, and stirring the contents the right times, at the right pace, and in the right direction. While she made sure the Devil's Leaves were shimmering, she took the time to crush a few Yogaate-en Flowers. On the outside, it looked beautiful. The flowers were white with bits of pink splashed across it's petals, but when you squeezed them, or crushed them, a sticky substance just bursts out of them like they were holding so much of the substance, and it was on the verge of exploding.

The substance stank so much, not even three masks could cover the smell of it. They needed to get all of this sticky, foul smelling substance out, dry all flower's pedals and put the pedals in the cauldron. The substance would be saved in one of Severus' glass bottles for other different potions.

"You know, it would be nice if you weren't always breathing down my neck, and towering over me to check if I do something wrong."

"You should know by now, Miss. Granger, that I don't trust you -- at all."

"Whatever." There was a brief pause, and Hermione asked something.

"May I ask you a question? This question has been lingering in my mind for quite sometime, and I'd like for it to go away."

"I believe that I was the one who won the bet, the little game. We agreed that if you won, I'd answer any of your questions, but if I won, you'd do whatever I wanted you to do."

"I heard you screaming and telling someone to stop making you do something last night." She continued, ignoring him. "and it sounded like Professor Dumbledore told you to do something, but what could he have asked you to do, that was too unbearable?"

There was a long, painful pause. Hermione, waiting for an answer, and Severus fighting with himself. One part of him wanted to tell her, but the other part was refusing. Eventually, with Hermione still chopping away with the different ingredients, Severus had agreed to answer her question…_"Just once couldn't hurt."_ He thought.

"I…I just had a nightmare."

"Pfft…yah right." And Hermione rolled her eyes.

Snape turned around. It looked as though he was immensely interested in the lines in the stainless steel coming from his kitchen sink. He traced his fingers along some of the lines before opening his mouth again.

"I just, recalled a memory. A painful memory."

"Has this been haunting you for a while?"

"Ever since I…" and he drifted off into silence.

"Ever since you…? Ever since you what?" Hermione pressed on, urging him to continue.

"Ever since I killed Albus…" he finished rather painfully.

Hermione stopped chopping the herbs and turned to face Snape. Her eyes were full of sympathy and astonishment. Snape dared to look at her, and slowly turned his head to face hers. He was shocked at seeing the sympathy in her eyes. For a moment they just stared in each other's eyes, both of them waiting for each other to do something, but neither did…until Severus broke the silence and looked away.

"Do you know what it's like…Have you ever experienced the painful and agonizing pang of guilt? Have you ever wished you could just, restart your whole life anew, take back all the things you want to take back? Have you ever felt as though no matter how much you did to any extent, how much you TRIED to help this pitiful world, it would've been to no use in the end? Have you ever wondered, if, just if, you tried to stop yourself from doing something which you will regret further on in your life, it might change everything now? Have you ever felt useless, and hopeless? Like you try stopping someone, and telling someone you can't do what they persist on making you do, but it just doesn't work." He looked at her, and whispered, "Have you ever felt the discriminating feeling of loneliness?"

Hermione just stared, she was totally in loss for words, but after a moment, she seemed to have found her voice.

"I…I don't understand. Is this what you're feeling now? Is there more?"

Wanting to change the subject, he turned his head towards where the cauldron sat boiling and he seemed to find his usual cold and snide way of talking.

"I think, that is time to finish adding the ingredients to this potion." When seeing as Hermione didn't move, he assured her, "We shall have further discussions on this later."

Hermione turned on her heels and continued to finish the rest of the potions.

"_Well that's a start. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. I'm starting to trust in Snape more now." Hermione thought while she was finishing the potion. "I wonder if he uses this stuff..._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 Discussions Snape lay in bed pondering on the discussion he just had with Hermione. After he let out all his feelings to Hermione today, he felt better. He felt as if a thousand bricks had been taken off his shoulders.

Hermione finished brewing the potions, put the liquid in some cauldrons and cleaned up. After cleaning up, she sat down on a chair in the living room. She thought about the questions Severus asked her.

"_Have you ever experienced the painful and agonizing pang of guilt? Have you ever wished you could just restart your whole life anew, take back all the things you want to take back?"_

She had no idea that Severus felt so…so alone, so confused inside. She wanted to help him. She wanted to tell Severus that he wasn't alone. It was almost Christmas and she wanted to get him something… something unique.

Hermione got up and walked towards Severus' bedroom door. She knocked on it and waited for a response.

Snape grunted when he heard the knock on his door. He got off his bed and strode towards the door. He opened the door and saw Hermione standing there. He sighed and said,

"Miss. Granger-"

"Hermione, call me Hermione." She interrupted.

"Hermione, I am in no mood to talk about this matter any further…at least not now."

"I didn't want to bother you with that anymore. I just wanted to talk to you about your Christmas plans."

"My plans for Christmas have always been the same. Go out, buy a few more bottles of fire whiskey, come back home and drink them all."

She looked at him disconcertingly.

"You have a pretty dull Christmas." She replied.

"Actually, it's not quite as dull as you think."

"Well, you're going to have to spend Christmas with me, and I'm quite the festive type, so you're going to have to have more Christmas cheer."

Quite a few miles away, Harry and Ron were sitting on a chair in the living room of the Burrow.

Harry was an Auror and worked for the Ministry for Magic. He passed with flying colours on his NEWTs exams as did Ron…surprisingly. Harry was currently residing in the Burrow with Ron and his family and was dating Ginny, Ron's younger sister. After the battle, Harry and Ginny both realized that they couldn't live without each other so they got back together. Ginny decided to help Fred and George with their joke shop for the time being until she found a suitable job.

"I wonder how Hermione's doing. We haven't talked to her in a while." Harry said.

"Send her an owl."

"Where is she staying now?"

"I don't know. Just tell Hedwig to find her and she will. Your bloody owl is the smartest owl I know." Ron replied.

Harry got a piece of parchment paper and his quill, he came back, sat down and started writing.

_Dear Hermione,_

_It's been a while since we last had contact with each other, and we (meaning Ron and I) were just wondering how you've been. How's your job? Doing well I suppose, since you are the smartest girl I've ever known…_

"Hey, why not invite her over for Christmas?" Ron asked, "I'm sure mum would be delighted if she could come over. It's been a while."

"Yeah that'd be nice. I'll ask her."

…_What are you doing for Christmas, anything special? If not maybe you could come over to the Burrow for Christmas. It's been a while and all of us miss you a lot. Mrs. Weasley would be delighted if you came. Well, send us a reply back as soon as you can._

_Love, _

_Harry and Ron_

"I think that's good enough." Harry said while putting down his quill. He walked over to his and Ron's bedroom took Hedwig out of his cage and gave her the letter.

"Go find Hermione and wait for her reply." He patted Hedwig and off he went.

Hermione and Snape were talking in the living room of his home.

"So," Hermione started, "I've got some planning to do with you. We should go shopping sometime to get some presents. I have to get presents for Harry and Ron, and my parents, oh and you of course." She smiled and looked at Snape whom was staring at the fireplace.

"Did you hear one word I said?"

"Of course I heard you." Replied Snape bluntly.

"Well what do you say?"

"What do I say about what?"

"Shopping for Christmas presents. When shall we go?"

"Miss. Gra-" Hermione gave him a dirty look.

"Hermione, if it hasn't dawned on you yet, I'm part of the male species. Most males don't and refuse to go shopping. We think shopping is dull and a waste of time."

Ignoring his explanation she said, "I think the sooner we get it done, the better. I bet there'll be loads of people already buying their gifts. How about…tomorrow?"

"No."

"Then tomorrow it shall be." She smiled and said, "After we finish our shopping, we can go buy some fire-whiskey. Okay?"

"Whatever you wish Hermione." Was all Snape said.

Just then there was a light tapping on the window in his kitchen. Snape and Hermione turned and found a snowy whit owl holding a letter. Hermione recognized it almost immediately.

"Hedwig!" she announced. She quickly ran over to the window and opened it.

"How did you find me here?"

Hedwig pecked her hand gently and gave her the letter. She took it from him and started to read it.

Snape recognized this owl.

"It was Potter's bloody bird. How did he find where I live?" he thought.

"It's Harry!" Hermione said.

"I know." Snape thought. He just kept staring at the fireplace. He looked like he was in a trance but he was listening to her every word.

"…well, and Ron. They're asking if I would like to go to the Burrow for Christmas."

Snape looked at her. "No," he thought, "she can't leave…what am I thinking? Of course she can. He wouldn't have to spend time with her going shopping."

"I'm sure you would love to go. I understand if you do."

"Well of course I'd like to go, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you came a long." She replied.

Severus just laughed.

"Oh sure. Potter, Weasley and I could just hold hands around the Christmas tree and start singing Christmas carols." He mocked. "I'm sure they would just _love_ me spending Christmas with them." He concluded emphasizing the world "love".

"Oh come off it. You saved Harry's life. I'm sure he would love to say thank you. Besides, it would be much better, and more festive if we-meaning you and I- went. It beats staying here for Christmas."

"I'm actually quite fond of my place thank you very much."

"Please come. It'll be fun. I promise." Hermione ran to her bedroom got a quill and some parchment paper. She quickly wrote back to Harry and Ron.

_Dear Harry and Ron,_

_Of course I'll be there for Christmas! It has been quite a while since we last talked, and I'd be delighted to. Right now I'm residing in someone's house for now. Oh yah, by the way, I'll be bringing someone else along to the Burrow if that's ok with you. It'll be kind of like a…surprise. My job is great! I found someone who could help me with my potions job. He's great. He's the one I'm staying with right now, and the one I'm going to be bringing for Christmas. Please say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley for me, as well as Ginny and the boys. I'll tell you more about what I'm doing when I see you. Thank you for the invite and see you at Christmas! _

_Love,_

_Hermione_

She finished writing her letter and tied it to Hedwig's leg.

"Thank you Hedwig!" and off he went.

Snape stared at her in disbelief.

"I never said I was going."

"Oh come off it Severus. It'll be fun, and you're coming and that's final."

Lucius slammed his fist on his kitchen table.

"I swear, I'm going to kill Severus." He started saying. "He's a bloody traitor. He helped stupid Potter kill the Dark Lord. If I hadn't fled from the scene of the fight before the Ministry came I could've been rotting in Azkaban."

"Sweetheart, if you do, you'll get such a bad reputation, and you'll lose the face of our family." Narcissa replied, "Besides, you shouldn't waste all your time and energy on him. He's probably-"

"If it wasn't because of him, Potter wouldn't be alive! Everything that I've done for the Dark Lord, and to watch him fall because of the stupid Potter boy, it's like all my dignity being taken away from me." He shouted, "Draco would've become a Death Eater and we could've lived lives that anyone would wish to have. The Dark Lord would've repaid us with glory and things only fools could dream of having."

Narcissa took an abrupt intake of breath when Lucius said the name of her son. Her only son. The son whom came back after the fight between Harry and Voldemort just to pack up his things and leave the house to follow a "better life" with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

When Draco found out that his parents were under the power of the Dark Lord, and learned what they were going to do, he couldn't bare the thought that he might have to do the same too. He was scared that he had to assist the Dark Lord into killing the people whom he spent years at school with. He did not care about Potter and Weasley and Granger at the moment, he cared about his friends, but most of all, his mentor, his teacher…Professor Snape. He recalled the night in the Astronomy Tower and how the Professor "protected" him from the individual fights in the castle. He recalled the days from when they fled, when the Professor would almost be like a father to him, when they were hiding. He recalled the Professor begging the Dark Lord not to kill him because he couldn't do the task that the Dark Lord so easily branded upon him.

He soon found a better life living and being friends with Harry, Ron, and the mud-blood Hermione. He couldn't pick up the courage to ask for forgiveness from them at first, but he soon told them that he was scared and couldn't live with his parents whom were always killing. He was so graciously taken in especially by Hermione if though he hurt her feelings one too many times. He was so grateful for having friends like Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Draco was now working at Hogwarts as a teacher teaching Potions-taking up his favourite teacher's position. After Snape left Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall was in desperate need to find another teacher that could pursue the job so she found Draco and asked if he could fulfill the place. Draco of course quickly agreed to become the new Potions teacher since he really had no place to stay and nothing to do. It was he who also helped Harry in the fight between Voldemort and Harry.

Narcissa placed a bowl of soup in front of her husband. He drank it greedily as if he had never eaten in his life.

"Now Draco's teaching at Hogwarts still friends with the stupid Potter boy, the Weasley boy and the disgusting mud blood. We gave him everything and this is how he repays us; by being friends with our most hated enemies." He started to complain.

"Yes, but remember dear, Severus saved his life. If it wasn't for him, the Dark Lord would've killed our son. Our only son."

Lucius ignored her. He was in his own thoughts.

"I swear, I'm going to kill Snape, even if it's the last thing I have to do!" he exclaimed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Walking and Shadows**

"Wake up!! Wake up Severus!!" Hermione said while pounding on his door, "It's time to go to Diagon Alley for some Christmas shopping."

Severus turned in his bed covering his face with his pillow. "It can't be morning already." He thought. As Hermione kept banging on his door to wake him up, he got up from the bed grabbed his robes and wrapped it around him. He strode towards the door and opened it just as Hermione was going to bang on his door again. She stopped midway when he opened the door. Staring down his nose at Hermione he said,

"Please don't ever bang on my door again."

"Good morning to you too Severus." She mocked.

He ignored her comment and asked, "What do you want?"

"It's time to get some shopping done." She smiled.

"I'm not going. You go along and have fun." He replied and turned to close the door. Hermione stopped the door with her hand and said, "Yes you are. Go and change…I'm waiting."

"You're very demanding." He said before turning into the midst of his bedroom. He couldn't help but smirk. He had to admit, he liked that quality in her. "Now go away, I'm going to change."

Hermione gave a satisfied smile and replied, "I must be demanding to get what I want." And turned on her heel.

Snape closed the door to his bedroom and started changing. _"Bloody hell! She wakes me up early in the morning and demands for me to go Christmas shopping with her. Why should I even go. I don't get presents at Christmas, and surely Hermione wouldn't get me anything." _Though he remembered when Hermione said that she would get him something. He let out a heavy sigh and finished buttoning his black shirt. He opened the door and stepped out of his room. He saw that Hermione was sitting in front of the fireplace on one of the armchairs in his living room. He leaned on the wall and crossed his arms,

"Taking in the daylight?" he mocked.

Hermione turned around in the chair stunned and said, "Are you ready?"

"Does it look like I'm ready?" Snape replied. His tone of voice indicated only too well, that he didn't want to go.

Hermione stared at Snape for a moment, again showing disgust on her face because of Snape's choice of clothing. Then she opened her mouth and said "Well let's go then." They both walked out of the door and headed for Diagon Alley.

Hermione looked around, "This place really gives me the creeps! It's unbelievably quiet in this town."

Snape just gave a small grunt showing that he heard her but didn't want to answer her.

She looked around and then her eyes landed upon Snape. She stared at him while she was walking and couldn't help but admire him. The way he put his hands in his pocket, obviously clutching onto his wand incase something would come up. The way he had his posture. His back always straight, showing courage and strength. The way he always seemed to have a sneer on his face no matter what the situation. The way he walked, it always showed that he wasn't afraid of anything. And… just his presence. Even if he didn't say anything, you would just know that he demanded respect from others.

Then, on Hermione's face, a smile was beginning to form.

Snape felt the eyes of Hermione on him and looked out of the corner of his eye to see if she was surely looking at him and not at something else. He had his hand in his pocket while walking, clutching his wand.

"I'm sure you have been taught-at least by someone-on the simple lessons of staring at people. I would be surprised as to knowing that a great Gryffindor like you, being House Prefect and all, not knowing the simple matters of courtesy and respect. Staring at people-if you didn't know-is very rude."

Hermione snapped back to reality. "I-I'm sorry Severus…I-I just…" and she trailed off. She went back to staring in front of her and continued walking, her smile fading away from her face.

They finally reached Diagon Alley. The minute they walked into the huge crowds of people, it seemed like everything just stopped. Everybody stopped what they were doing and stared at the direction of Snape and Hermione. People were whispering amongst their neighbors, each one pointing and staring at Snape.

"Isn't that Severus Snape, the man who killed…Dumbledore?" whispered a short but extremely skinny man, to one of the people standing near him. The person nodded and whispered back, "It's the Death Eater! He was a spy for…You-Know-Who. I can't believe Dumbledore trusted him!" he shook his head in disbelief.

Snape and Hermione kept walking slowly. People moved to the side as though Snape had a serious disease that was contagious.

Snape stopped, "I told you this was going to be a bad idea." He whispered to Hermione.

"Don't be ridiculous." She replied and grabbed his arm, pulling him to walk further.

A witch with long curly hair (much like Hermione's), with skepticals that magnified her eyes, and an old dirty robe packed up the courage to walk up to Hermione and say, "Be careful my dear, that's a very dangerous man that is." She pointed to Snape.

Hermione and Snape stopped. Hermione turned to the witch and said bitterly, "Oh, I can be just as dangerous as him if you don't watch what your incredibly big and ridiculous mouth is saying!"

Hermione grinned with satisfaction as she saw the witch was taken aghast. The witch crumpled her face into a frown and backed away muttering cursed words and complaints.

"Can you believe that woman? How dare she…having the courage to even _say_ that to my face. Unbelievable!" Hermione ranted.

"Actually, yes I can believe that," he said in cool voice, "You should've expected this to happen." Making it sound like it was Hermione's fault for all the people staring at him.

While they continued walking, (Snape ignoring the continuous pointing and stares from the many rude and obnoxious people) Snape couldn't help but wish he was a tiny bug so that people won't be able to see him. He hated the way he was treated, especially by the people who barely knew anything about the night he killed Dumbledore. He loathed them…every single one of them. Everyone who thought he was in the wrong. Part of him hated Hermione for convincing him to go with her, but the other part of him thanked her for standing up for him like that to the old woman. That part of him couldn't help but admire her. She was-and still is- an insufferable know-it-all, and she was also very hot tempered and demanding, but he kind of liked that in her. _"No wonder she's a Gryffindor,"_ he thought, _"brave and everything. It's a pity she wasn't in Slytherin with brains like hers._" He couldn't remember Hermione ever messing up a potion in his class. Never had he ever deduct points from Gryffindor because of her.

It was a while before Snape noticed that Hermione was still clutching onto his arm.

"It would be nice," he started, "if you could loosen your grip on my arm."

Hermione turned to look at what Snape was talking about and noticed that she was still holding Snape's arm. She felt her face redden as she quickly took her hands away from Snape's arm. Snape brushed his hand on his sleeve making all the creases disappear acting as if he got dirt on his sleeve.

After walking for about 5 minutes, Hermione turned to Snape and stopped walking,

"I think we should separate, you can't see what kind of present I'm going to get for you," she smiled and continued, "Give me about, an hour and a half, and we'll meet at the Hogs Head. I know what I'm getting for Ron and Harry, I just don't know what to get for you."

Snape just shrugged and nodded. Hermione smiled and walked away happily, her curly hair bouncing up and down with every step she took. Snape stood their for a while watching Hermione walk away before turning on his heel walking the exact opposite direction. His strides were long while he kept his hands in his pockets.

Snape walked passed several shops, and looked through many windows and still couldn't find the right thing to buy for Hermione. He still thought buying a present and "doing something" for Christmas was a very stupid idea and he still couldn't believe he was going and spending time at the Burrow with the Weasleys, Hermione and that arrogant of a boy, Potter. He crumpled his face into a frown just with the thought of spending Christmas with the Potter boy.

It had already been about an hour and Hermione was almost done her Christmas shopping. She bought Harry and Ron's gift but she had to decide on what to get for Snape.

"What should I get him?" she asked herself. "It has to be something useful, something he could use." She went through almost every shop looking for something to get for him, but she couldn't find anything. Then she remembered Snape's cauldron at his house. It was filthy and extremely old. _"That could affect the potions he would make. If the contents were unmistakably mixed together then the potion or elixir would be completely wasted, or even worse, it could kill someone."_ She thought.

She just came out of a store and walked down the road when she saw Snape had turned and walked into a book store. She smiled thinking that Snape was enjoying himself. And even if he wasn't, at least he was out and about instead of just staying shut up in his house drinking Firewhisky or brewing a potion. She went up to the glass window and peered through looking to see what Snape was up to.

Snape went through aisle after aisle slowly looking up and down the overfilled bookshelves looking for what he wanted. He had figured out just want to get her. He knew she enjoyed reading and learning new things (being that he was her professor for 6 years at Hogwarts) so he decided to look for something in the bookshelves of the store. He went to the second last aisle in the store, looked up and down at all of the bookshelves until he found what he wanted. He grabbed the book off the shelf, flipped through the many pages of the book and decided that this was what he would get for her. He held the book underneath his arm and went over to pay for it. When he stopped in front of the desk at the cash register, the cashier was so petrified that he fumbled with his shoe for about a few minutes before taking notice that Snape was there and ready to pay.

Hermione had not seen what Snape was holding but was quite excited as to what he got for her. When she saw that he walked over to the cash register, she checked the time on her watch and saw that it was still a bit early but decided to go to the Hogshead otherwise.

On her way to the Hogshead, while she was walking, she could see people turning over to their friends and neighbors whispering to one an other and staring at Hermione as she passed as though she had a million warts on her face.

Now she knew how Snape felt whenever he tried coming out just for a stroll or a walk to the store. She stared at a bunch of teenage girls whom were pointing, whispering, and giggling amongst themselves. She stopped in front of the group of girls and said heatedly,

"And what do you think could be so ridiculously hilarious?"

One of the girls had the nerve to answer Hermione and she replied,

"Well aren't you the girl who's dating that Death Eater?" she turned to her friends and continued, "What was his name, Something Snape?" all of the girls including her laughed.

"Well, for your information, it's _Severus_ Snape, and no, I'm not 'dating' him, and even if I was, I wouldn't be afraid as to admitting it. I'd actually love to be dating him because he's a wonderful man!"

Just then, Snape happened to be right behind her and heard Hermione say her reply to the girls.

The girls giggled even louder as Snape approached and the same girl replied,

"Well if you do happen to be dating _him_," she pointed at Snape whom was standing behind Hermione, "then please, make sure he knows too, because the look on his face is like he would rather much like to disappear from here. The look on his face is priceless!" she laughed (and so did her friends) as they turned and walked away.

Hermione turned around quickly and looked at the bewildered Snape. She turned extremely red and looked as if she wished she was anywhere then standing in front of Snape.

"You-you heard…everything?" she asked.

It took a while before Snape answered. He looked puzzled and wondered whether what Hermione said was true. Seconds later he found his voice and said,

"I've heard enough."

Their walk to the Hogs Head was in total silence. As they walked side by side with many people still staring at them and trying to avoid them anyway possible, Snape kept thinking of the events that happened on the cobble stoned street…

_One of the girls had the nerve to answer Hermione and she replied,_

"_Well aren't you the girl who's dating that Death Eater?" she turned to her friends and continued, "What was his name, Something Snape?" all of the girls including her laughed._

"_Well, for your information, it's Severus Snape, and no, I'm not 'dating' him, and even if I was, I wouldn't be afraid as to admitting it. I'd actually love to be dating him because he's a wonderful man!"_

_She wouldn't be afraid if people knew she was dating me. _He thought. _Heck, why would anyone want to date me?_ He took a glance at Hermione, whom was making it quite obvious that she was trying to avoid his eye. He managed to take in her features and her beauty. _She sure has matured since I last saw her. She has a figure now, but her hair… still as wild as ever._ He couldn't help but smile.

All of a sudden a sense of warm feeling gushed inside of him. He wondered what it would feel like to _touch_ her. To just…_ "NO!"_ he thought. _I must be going mad._ He shook his head and continued walking. (still keeping his hands in his pocket)

They had finally reached the Hogs Head and walked into the bar. (meanwhile still enduring many stares and occasionally the pointing)

Everybody had turned to see who had just walked in when the door had opened, but apparently they didn't care that it was Severus, for they had returned to their drinks and conversations.

"It seems as if the people in pub don't seem to care if you exist or not." Hermione whispered.

"That's because they know that I usually come here and that if they don't annoy me I will not hex them or do anything to them." He looked at her, "I have hexed someone before. It was a long time ago though. I think that's also why these people won't dare to stare at me or talk about me. They're scared of me."

"Well I could understand why they would be scared of you." Hermione replied, as they walked over to a secluded table in the far end of the pub. They sat down and the bartender came to take orders.

"A Firewhisky please…and…and just a Butterbeer." Hermione said.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "You don't drink do you?" he asked.

"I do…but not as much as you do. Usually just on occasions." She replied.

Not before long their drinks arrived and Snape kept taking in gulps of the liquid.

"You know, we're not really in a hurry." Hermione said as if she was all knowing while she sipped her Butterbeer.

Snape ignored her and took in another gulp, before long he had finished 3 bottles and was asking for his fourth.

"That is enough! You have drank to many and I will prohibit you from drinking anymore!" Hermione exclaimed while slamming her still first bottle of Butterbeer.

He merely quirked his eyebrow while looking at her and thanked the bartender for his fourth bottle of the drink.

In the opposite corner of the pub, a dark figure whom was covered in dark robes was studying the witch and the wizard that were sitting on the opposite side of the room. He smirked as he stared at them. _This would only be too perfect._ He thought. And he "swooshed" out of the pub like a black vampire bat ready to have a go and his prey.

Since his last visit to Azkaban, Lucius has always been lurking in shadows watching the witches and wizards rejoice for the Dark Lord has once and for all, vanished. He couldn't help but vomit at the thought of all their happiness. He had lost his son because of the war and all he had now was a small dingy house

secluded by trees and he was living with his wife, Narcissa.

"Stupid Potter and his friends, took my only son away from me. They made him turn his back against his master, and his family." He said with hatred in his voice. "Now he's at Hogwarts teaching with those fools McGonagall, and Sprout."

He lingered for a while in the shadows behind a small building before he apparated back to his home.

He was happy. He had just found something out about Snape that would do very well in his plans. He wanted Snape to suffer, just like he has suffered. He lost his master, his luxurious house and precious possessions that were in his house, and worst of all, he had lost his one and only son, forever.

He recalled the night when Draco had said he would leave him. It was days after the big duel against Voldemort and Harry…

_Lucius and Narcissa were sitting in their small, and dingy house staring at the fireplace. Lucius was drinking from the whole wine bottle, waiting for his son to come home. Narcissa was just sitting there, lost for words, staring at the dancing fire that was in the old fireplace._

_There was a sudden slam of the door and footsteps that were heading towards the so-called living room. Both Lucius and Narcissa abruptly turned their heads towards the door. They saw their handsome son stand in the doorway in bellowing black cloaks, and Lucius couldn't help but smile with pride._

"_Oh Draco!" Narcissa cried a few minutes later, when she realized it was her son and not someone else. She ran up to him with open arms and embraced him while crying. It has been days since Draco had came home after the battle. They didn't know where he was currently residing, who he was with, or what he was doing. Draco hugged her mother back grudgingly and half-heartedly._

"_Mother." He said, quite seriously. He let go of his mother and stood there, but his mother kept hugging him. He waited for her to let go before talking again._

_When she had finally let go he greeted his father just like he had greeted his mother._

"_Father." Was all he said. He didn't have much respect for them anymore, but when he looked at his father's pitiful state, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him._

_Lucius got up from his chair and went up to Draco and patted his back…or rather slammed his hand on his son's back. The force made Draco make a step forward, but he didn't say anything._

"_Son! I knew you would come back!" he chuckled. Draco merely stood there with no expression on his face._

"_Father, mother, sit." He pointed towards the two armchairs sitting in front of the fireplace, and they took their seats, Narcissa wiping the rest of her tears off with the end of her sleeve._

"_I have something to tell you." He didn't wait for them to answer, he still…just…stood there. "I know you'll probably not approve of this, but I don't care. I'm old enough now to make my own decisions and I'm old enough to know what's right and what's…" he paused and stared at his father, "Wrong." This made his father's smile slightly disappear. _

"_I know that you're probably mad at me for not assisting '_your'_ Dark Lord into killing Harry Potter," he emphasized "your" and it made Lucius lose his smile completely and it made Narcissa gasp at the bitterness that was in his expression. "and you've probably found out that it was I who assisted Harry Potter and his friends into destroying the Horcruxes and later on defeating '_your'_ Dark Lord…oh me and of course…Professor Snape." For the first time this night, Draco smiled. He smiled as if he was talking highly about his mentor, as if he admired his former teacher to the point of treating him like his father. _

_They were quiet. They just sat there waiting for Draco to keep going. Draco seemed to notice this so he continued on._

"_To get to the point of why I'm here, I'll just make a very long story short. When I was at Hogwarts, I was frightened. I was scared for my life, and the life of my family. The night I had to kill Dumbledore, he offered help to me…to help you. I really wanted to take his offer, but I knew that if I didn't do the task that Voldemort intended me to do, I would be killed…and you would be killed." he paused, then said, "But now I'm older, and wiser. I knew that I was naïve and stupid. I asked myself over and over again if I wanted to become what you have become. If I wanted to live in darkness, with someone always watching over me, to see if I've done wrong against him. Then, on the night of the battle, I saw everything that I couldn't bear seeing. I saw you and mother killing, and torturing as if…as if you enjoyed it. You laughed at how people suffered while hurting them, and I couldn't. I couldn't do what you were doing. It pained me to think this, but I thought…I thought I didn't know you anymore. No. I didn't want to know you anymore." he paused again and stared at his parents. Neither of them not knowing what to say._

"_So, I have concluded that I do not wish to have any means of contact with you in anyway. I do not want the whole Wizarding world, or even the Muggle world to know that I am related to Death Eaters…or that I'm related to people who make killing a pleasure. Do not worry, I will make my moving out brief and quick. I have returned also to pack my things. Don't ask me where I'll be staying. I do not wish for you to know. I already have a place in mind, and I think I will be more than welcome in staying there."_

_Just then, there was a great blast of the door bursting open. They heard a few footsteps running towards the living room. Lucius and Narcissa jumped up from there seats holding their wands out, but Draco merely turned and glanced behind him, not surprised at all. _

_3 teenagers stood at the doorway of the living room with their wands held out and pointing straight at Lucius and Narcissa._

"_Malfoy, it was taking quite a while so we decided to come in and check to see if everything was alright. You told us that you wouldn't be long but it's been almost 45 minutes and we thought that something was wrong." Said one of the three._

"_I'm fine. It's just taking me a while to explain everything." He replied._

_Lucius and Narcissa were bewildered. Standing in front of them were the three most hated teenagers they would ever want to see. Standing in their living room were Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Lucius was enraged. How dare they blast into his house and point their wand at them._

"_Get out." Lucius demanded._

"_No." the trio said and they stood there as defiantly as ever._

"_Father, mother, I will be going upstairs to pack up my things. As you can see, my…friends…" he pointed towards the three, "are here to assist me."_

"_Friends? FRIENDS?" Lucius asked. He looked as if he was ready to kill someone._

"_Son," Narcissa started, "How could you possibly be friends with…with these people?"_

"_You know nothing mother, of what kinds of friends I should or should not be having."_

"_Son, you can not be friends with these people, they're just…what about all those years at Hogwarts where they have always cast you aside, and gave you rude remarks?"_

"_I must confess mother, that that was me most of the time. But we've grown, and we've matured. Harry has realized that I have helped him keep his life and most of the lives of his loved ones and friends. We have made a strong friendship between us during our journey of killing Voldemort. He in return has saved my life and my future. I do not have to linger in the shadows as father does or stay at home all the time like you do. I am a free man now, and I can do what I please. Still mother, I go out onto the streets and people still ask me if I'm related to 'the Death Eater Lucius Malfoy, or Narcissa Malfoy'. They ask me if I'm your son and the nephew of Bellatrix Lestrange. I must confess, I say I have no relation to either of you whatsoever. You see mother? All my life I have been blinded by family pride and darkness. All my life I have known nothing but evil, now mother, now I know that there is so much more than that. Look at you! Look at what you've become! Neither of you can go out and know that you'll be safe. At least now I can go out with my friends to a pub and not be bombarded with Aurors or people asking me if I know the whereabouts of my family, or whether or not I assisted you in anyway on the night of the battle. They are still trying to round up all the Death Eaters, and I must say, they're doing a pretty good job, so I'd be careful if I were you."_

"_How dare you! Since when have you ever treated us like this." Lucius said, "I am your father and she is your mother, and you will treat us with some respect."_

"_Yes, unfortunately you are. But with all do respect, I must be leaving…I will just be going upstairs and gathering my belongings. I'll be very quick, it'll be like I was never here."_

_He turned and walked up the stairs and the trio gave a last minute glare at Lucius and Narcissa and followed Draco into his room. Minutes later, Draco was dragging his luggage behind him with the trio following suit. He was just about to walk out the door when he turned around and bade his last goodbyes to his parents._

"_Father, mother, there will be no need in contacting me in anyway. There will also be no need in trying to find me. I will be safe. I will also send a bit of money once a month, obviously not personally probably just by owl. So…I guess this will be the end of our…meeting. Goodbye, mother…father." And he left. Along with his new friends._

Lucius had found out recently that he has been hired by the headmistress of Hogwarts to be the Professor for Potions. He had also found out that he was staying with Potter and his friends but he didn't know where. _"Probably at the Weasleys"_ he thought. But no, really, they were staying at number Twelve Grimmauld Place.

Snape and Hermione had finished their drinks, gathered their things and had paid. They maneuvered their way out of the pub and headed back home. They decided to eat there (even if the food wasn't as great) and they had many discussions. Many based on potions that Hermione had been studying and on Christmas plans.

Honestly, Snape had to say that he enjoyed his "walk" out into the streets. Even though people stared and pointed, he didn't mind the fresh air once and a while. He also enjoyed the fact that he did get some shopping done…for once in his life…for someone else. He also couldn't help but wonder what Hermione had gotten him for Christmas, and he wondered if she would like what he had gotten for her. He honestly didn't have any experience in buying a gift for someone whatsoever.

It was colder and the sun was setting when they had arrived home. They walked through the doorway and Hermione was the first to say that she would take a shower. So Snape grudgingly, and reluctantly agreed and gave in.

After they both took a shower, Snape and Hermione said goodnight and they both turned into their own bedrooms. He didn't know why but Snape had a feeling that he was being watched…being followed.

heyy!! sorry for the late updates for chappy 7 i know it took like..half the year lol...i was in the hospital..thanx and enjoy! R&R please x) 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**A.N.** heyy…sorry everyone…I was kinda REALLY busy and you're probably killing me because I haven't updated in a while…so here it is…3 more chapters..x) working on the other ones…enjoy. And please…R&Rx)

Heartaspr.

**Christmas Surprises **

Again, Snape had woken up around 4:00 in the morning. He couldn't sleep. Not only were his thoughts haunting him…still… he couldn't help but feel that someone was watching him. _It must be the lack of sleep._ He thought.

He lay in bed with his eyes open and stared at the ceiling of his room. He knew that something was special about this day…but couldn't recall what. All of a sudden there was a sudden scream in the next room. Snape jerked up and grabbed his robe. He swooshed out of his room and burst open the door of the other room. He had his wand out and ready, ready for anything that he had to hex…stun…or kill, but all he found was Hermione sitting up on her bed with a huge smile on her face, and her eyes twinkling.

Hermione ran up to Snape and threw her arms around his neck.

"Happy Christmas Severus!!" she said. Snape was rooted to the ground. He was stunned and shocked and so he just stood there with his wand still in his hand like he was trapped. Hermione kept hugging him for a few more seconds until she let go and smiled at Snape, and when she saw that Snape was still looking stunned, she asked,

"What's wrong?"

"No one has ever touched me…let alone hug me…" then he turned his head stiffly to look at her, "but you seem to be doing just that quite often." He saw her face begin to redden so he changed the topic. He didn't want to have to endure her getting embarrassed again…just like touching him, she seemed to be blushing quite a lot too.

"I'm…not very good…at the whole…exchanging gifts thing. Am I supposed to give you your gift now? Or am I supposed to wait until later?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh…um…well you can wait until later I guess. I still have to give you yours. We'll wait until we arrive at Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Snape rolled his eyes when she said "Number Twelve Grimmauld Place" and he turned to walk to his room.

"Since you insist on taking me… I'll change into something…presentable." And he left.

Hermione spun around and plopped on her bed.

"Christmas…I love it." She thought. But then her thoughts drifted to their hug. She felt good when she hugged him. Yes, she must admit, it was awkward, but it was true, she did like the feeling of being around him and yes…maybe even the feeling of his skin or his body close to hers.

"Oh! Hermione snap out of this!" she said to herself.

What Hermione didn't know was that Snape was already dressed and standing in her doorway with his arms crossed on his chest and he bore a smirk on his face.

"You're a very queer and funny person." He said and Hermione shot her head his way.

"Do you enjoy talking to yourself?" he asked, still bearing his ridiculous smile on his face.

"You need to stop doing that. You need to stop sneaking up on me. People need privacy, or at least knock…and it's none of your business even if I do _enjoy_ talking to myself. It beats talking to you." She said and gave him cut eye.

Snape's smirk grew as he just stood there leaning on the frame of the door.

"Well I'm sorry for being such a pain. You're always welcome to leave. There's really nothing keeping you here…oh wait…maybe just the fact that you need my help and you need a place to stay."

"Oh believe me. Once I'm done with you, I'll leave. I wouldn't have to think twice." Hermione replied.

"If you say so, but we'll just see about that." Was all he said.

"I'll leave you to change…and to your…thoughts." And he coolly nudged himself off the frame and turned on his heel, his black cape swooshing, making the doorway look black.

Hermione gave a loud grunt. Every time she started enjoying Snape's company, something always messes up.

It took her a few minutes to change and pack since they were staying with the Weasleys and everyone for Christmas. She helped Snape pack and was-again-disgusted at his choice of clothing and colour. If it wasn't black it was white or grey.

"At least green since he's in Slytherin." Hermione thought.

She magically carried their trunks to the living room while Snape was patiently waiting, seated on an armchair with his hand supporting his head. Hermione purposely slammed the trunks on the floor to wake him and Snape-startled-jerked his head up. He narrowed his eyes and raised his eyebrow.

"That was completely unnecessary." He said.

"Oh well, I was too lazy to walk over there and slap you, so I decided to slam the trunks down instead." Hermione replied with a satisfied smirk on her face, and she walked over to the door to put on her shoes and her jacket.

Snape smiled. He admired her. He just didn't want to admit it. He looked back at the trunks and recognized his.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yes." Hermione said while she put on her scarf.

"Would you care to elaborate?" he asked

"Well…I would've thought that the 'Great Potions Master' would be able to put one and one together, but I guess there's no harm in giving him a hand."

"Oh…well…I am deeply gratified that you would care to help such a poor soul." Snape replied sarcastically.

Hermione ignored this and said,

"We're going to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place…"

"I've gotten used to that fact now thank you." Snape interrupted.

Hermione shot him a glare, and he smiled again. This was amusing him.

"We're staying there for a few days. Probably until the day after New years."

"You are, but I'm not." Snape said.

"Well too bad. You're staying. I've already informed Mrs. Weasley that a friend will be staying with us for the holidays."

"You need to stop making plans for me. I've lived on my own up until now, and just incase you haven't noticed…I'm still alive. I can run my own life thank you." Snape retaliated.

Hermione ignored him again and told him to be a dear and help carry the trunks.

Grudgingly, Snape did as he was told, got dressed (it was more like putting his shoes on since he already had his cape), made sure he had his wand and went out of the door-remembering to lock it. He put a few security spells on his house just in case- as he did have that uncomfortable feeling of someone following them.

Snape caught up to Hermione's side with ease and asked how they were going to get there. He really didn't want to walk the whole way.

"Apparating." She replied.

"We're apparating?" he asked.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?"

"No." he answered.

"Good." They walked a few more paces until Hermione stopped.

"Hold my arm." Hermione ordered. Snape looked at her in shock before he did as he was told. With seconds, they were there on the front porch of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.

Hermione and Snape brushed off the snow on there shoulders before Hermione knocked on the door.

"I'm coming dears!" came a voice inside the house.

The door opened and standing there with an apron on and a huge smile on her face was Mrs. Weasley. Since the day Voldemort had died, they needn't to ask for identity.

"Hermione! It's ever so good to see you!"

"It's great to see you too Mrs. Weasley!" Hermione replied. Mrs. Weasley gave her an enormous hug.

"Mrs. Weasley, like I promised you, I brought my friend…Professor Snape."

The smile on Mrs. Weasley's face twitched, but It remained on her face.

"Hello…Professor. It's a…a pleasure to see you again." She said.

"And you…Mrs. Weasley."

"Please, do come in…it's freezing out here!"

"Boys! Ginny! Come here…NOW!" she said as both Hermione and Snape came in.

All of a sudden, there was a loud rumbling from the stairs and then Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Draco, and Ginny were smiling in front of them. When they saw Snape standing in their hallway though, they stopped short and their smiles vanished from their excited faces. All Snape did was stare down his crooked nose and pursed his lips.

"Be polite." Hermione whispered to Snape.

Snape grunted and Hermione pinched him.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, and Hermione glared at him.

"I'm serious." She warned.

"I will, if they do." He mouthed and he turned his head to face them again.

Mrs. Weasley felt the tension as all of them just stared at each other so she hesitantly broke the silence.

"B-boys…Ginny…don't be rude. Say hello to Professor Snape."

"Professor…" they all said…all except Harry. When they all finished Harry purposely said,

"Snape…or sorry…shall I say…_traitor_."

"HARRY!" Hermione exclaimed.

Harry shot his head at her.

"What? What Hermione?" he said heatedly. "He is a traitor. He's a git…an arse…" he paused and snapped his head back at Snape.

"He's a coward.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Happy Christmas…?!?!**

That did it. Snape snapped. He lunged himself at Harry and snatched out his wand. He dug the tip of his wand in Harry's neck making Harry wince.

"Severus!" Hermione exclaimed, but he ignored her.

"You…don't know…_anything_…of what I had to go through. You don't know ANYTHING you arrogant fool, you selfish brat, you hard-headed, insolent…"

"Severus please!" Hermione begged. He stopped but kept his wand and his angered eyes on Harry.

Hermione turned to Harry.

"Harry, that was completely unnecessary. Apologize."

Stunned, Harry just looked at Hermione.

"Harry…" Hermione repeated.

"I won't apologize…but what I will do is ignore him and recognize that he's not here." Harry replied.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake!" Hermione pleaded, "You're acting like a child! Grow up! Grow up both of you!" and she ran upstairs.

It was quiet. Everyone just looked at each other. Snape stood there stiffly and that's when he noticed the bleached-blonde hair of someone familiar.

"Draco." He greeted.

"Professor." Draco replied. They looked at each other for a while until they moved towards each other and shook hands.

"Long time no see Professor." Draco said.

"Yes, but it was worth the wait." Snape replied.

Harry gave a grunt, bashed into Ron and moved into the kitchen.

Ron, Ginny, and the twins moved into the kitchen after Harry, leaving Mrs. Weasley, Draco, and Snape in the hallway.

"I guess I'll be…um…preparing for lunch. Make yourself feel at h-home Professor."

He nodded in recognition and Mrs. Weasley left.

"Let us go into the living room Draco. We have a lot to talk about." Draco nodded and they motioned towards the living room.

When they had arrived to the living room, Snape was impressed. They had refurnished. It had none of those ugly, disgusting, dusty armchairs, but it was elegantly decorated in what looked like comfortable couches and armchairs. There was a rug underneath a Mahogany coffee table. _Looks like Potter's been using his money wisely._ Snape thought.

He walked in and sat on one of the armchairs, Draco following suit.

"Professor…" Draco started, but stopped when Snape put up his hand.

"Don't call me that. I'm not your Professor anymore, and I don't have that as my occupation at the moment. I should be calling you that…Professor Malfoy."

Draco chuckled.

"You've changed Snape."

Snape quirked an inquisitive eyebrow.

"I do still need a little bit of respect and courtesy. Call me by my first name…when people call me Snape it sounds like the Potter boy…the disrespectful, insolent boy calling my name. Call me by my name…Severus… anyways…how so? How did I change?"

"Sorry Severus…well…it seems that your few days with Hermione's been working…"

Just then, they heard Harry's voice coming from upstairs…

"FINE THEN HERMIONE! BE AN ARSE!!!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME HARRY JAMES POTTER?" came Hermione's voice.

"I SAID FINE! BE AN ARSE!" Harry yelled back. And then there was the slamming of the door. By now, Snape and Draco and the rest of the gang were already up the steps. Snape was closer to Harry and Hermione than anyone else.

Harry just stood there for a while before he slammed his fist on the door one last time and ran down the stairs, ignoring everyone's eyes that were on him.

Ron moved up the stairs past Ginny, the twins, Mrs. Weasley, and Draco. He tried to pass by Snape but Snape stopped him with his hand.

"Let me through Snape." Ron demanded.

"Mr. Weasley…I think I should be the one to talk to her." Snape explained.

"What makes you think she would want to talk to you?" Ron asked.

"Wit…and intellect. Something…you might not have…" Snape replied.

Ron's face reddened in embarrassment and anger.

"I'm her best friend…I think she would choose me to talk to than you." Ron retaliated.

"Alright then…be my pleasure." Snape said. He moved aside and Ron passed.

Ron knocked on Hermione's door but no one answered. Meanwhile, everyone was still staring, waiting for anything that will happen. Ron knocked again,

"'Mione…Hermione… it's me…it's Ron. Please open the door."

"Go away Ronald. I don't want to talk to you either."

"Please 'Mione…don't be like this…it's either me…or Snape…"

The door snatched open and there stood an angered and annoyed Hermione.

"There you go Hermione…it wasn't that hard was…"

"I'd rather talk to Severus than talk to any of you, Ronald." She interrupted.

Ron was shocked.

"'Mione…you don't know what you're saying."

This time it was Snape who cut in.

"On the contrary Mr. Weasley…I think she knows exactly what she's saying. She'd rather choose me than any of you. So if you would excuse me…"

Ron looked at Hermione one last time, then, just like Harry, he ran down the stairs fumed, not caring what anyone said or did.

Snape motioned closer to Hermione's door while she was still standing there and unexpectedly, Hermione hugged him.

"Oh Severus…"she whispered in his ear.

Unconsciously, Snape hugged her back.

"I'm here…I'm here Hermione." He whispered back and he held her head close to his.

After seeing that, Ginny, the twins, Draco, and Mrs. Weasley slowly went down the stairs, leaving them alone.

Hermione and Snape walked into the room while still hugging each other and Snape closed the door.

After a while, they let go…slowly, and Hermione stared up into Snape's concerned, soft eyes as he stared back. He noticed that her face was wet from her tears and that she was still crying. He moved his hands towards her face and wiped her falling wet, salty tears away.

To Hermione's surprise, his touch was gentle and it didn't seem forced. _I like this Severus Snape…there might be some good in him._ She thought.

"Are you alright?" Snape asked.

"I dunno…it's supposed to be a great Christmas…I really didn't want any of this to happen." Hermione answered. She moved towards her bed and sat down, so Snape followed her and did the same.

"I thought…bringing you here to spend the holidays with us would be a good idea. It would let everyone…Harry especially…realize who you really are…and what really happened. I never wanted to hurt anyone…especially not you." She continued.

"I know…I know you didn't want to hurt anyone…you're just…the hard-headed, know-it-all, that thinks you can deal with everything all at once." Snape replied.

Hermione shot him a glare and Snape chuckled.

"There's that Hermione Granger that I know." He said and she smiled.

She moved over and clung onto him.

"Thank you Severus. For everything…" she said.

"You're welcome. Anytime Hermione…anytime." He replied as he hugged her in return. He held her close to her so that he could feel her bushy hair against his face. He held her close so that he could feel her chest going in and out with every breath she took. He held her close so that he could feel her heartbeat, and so that she could feel his…

"Severus," Hermione whispered a little while later as they were still hugging.

"Mm hmm?" he replied.

"Can you stay with me? I mean…can you stay in the same room as me for the remainder of the time here?"

"Does that include sleeping in the same room with you?" he asked, playfully.

She chuckled, "Yes. I don't want to feel alone, and I'd rather have you stay with me than anyone else." She replied.

"Coming from someone who said she would rather talk to herself than me…and coming from someone who said she would not need to think twice to get rid of me…but yes…I will." he replied.

She pulled back and slapped him…but she had a smile on her face.

"Ow!" Snape exclaimed. "Why did you do that?"

"Because you deserve it." And she slapped him again.

"Ow! Why did you do that? One's enough don't you think?"

"Well that was for earlier this morning…while we were still at your house, and I said I was too lazy to slap you." She answered.

She motioned to hit him again, but Snape caught her arm and pulled her in and embraced her. She gasped but didn't hesitate to fall into his arms again. She placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes, but silently chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure that slap was for earlier today, when Potter and I fought." He predicted.

"Mm hmm." Hermione said and nodded, but her eyes were still closed and her head was still on his chest. Her arms were around his waist.

She admired him. She just didn't want to admit it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**It Feels Like Christmas After All**

After what felt like days, there came a knock on Hermione's bedroom door. Startled, Snape and Hermione broke their embrace and Hermione answered,

"Yes?"

"Hermione dear, it's time for lunch. Percy's here, and so is Remus and Tonks…and of course their little boy-Teddy."

Snape rolled his eyes and whispered,

"Can it get any better?"

Hermione smiled.

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley, Severus and I will be coming."

"Ok, but wash up…and hurry! Everyone's waiting." Mrs. Weasley replied.

"We will." Hermione answered.

Hermione rolled off the bed, and Snape coolly got off. Seconds later, they both walked into the kitchen and saw everyone seated and talking and laughing. Hermione smiled. _This is how Christmas should be._

When they walked in, everyone glanced over to them.

"Hermione!" Remus cried. "It's ever so great to see you." and they hugged.

"It's great to see you too Remus!"

Tonks walked over and said, "Wotcher Hermione!"

"Tonks!" and they embraced each other.

"Hi Teddy!" Hermione greeted and the little boy glanced his innocent eyes towards her at the sound of his name.

"Hmione!" the little be replied, and everyone chuckled.

"Hello Percy." Hermione said finally.

"Hello Hermione. How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine now thank you."

"Snape…" greeted Remus and Tonks.

Snape nodded in return, and said both their names. It was quiet for a while until Remus walked up to Snape and stuck out his hand.

Snape grasped it and they shook hands.

"Come here Snape." Remus said and he pulled him and clapped his back.

Remus turned his head and whispered in Snape's ear, "I just want to tell you, Tonks and I…we believe you. We believe that you didn't kill Albus on purpose…and so does Minerva and Sprout. I just thought you'd like to know." And he pulled back.

"Thanks." Severus replied.

Everyone sat in their seats for their scrumptious lunch that Mrs. Weasley had prepared. There was steak and kidney pie, veggies, mashed potatoes, a pot of French-Onion soup, and chicken, and everyone helped themselves to what ever they wanted.

Snape didn't know how long it was since he had eaten such a delicious meal, so he helped himself to quite a bit.

There was laughter and casual conversation. Even Snape had to admit he was having a pretty good time, and he smiled once and a while, but of course, as Harry had promised, he was ignoring Snape, and acting as if he wasn't there…and ironically, so was Ron.

After lunch, everyone moved into the Family Room where it was beautifully decorated. Under the Christmas Tree were tons of presents and everyone was gathered around them. Snape stood a few feet away from everyone else. He was kind of like a bystander, watching everyone enjoy their presents and laugh and sing. He was merely sipping on his Egg Nog, kind of daydreaming, until he heard his name.

"Severus! There's some for you!" came Remus' voice.

Surprised, Snape walked over and sure enough, he saw two presents for him underneath the Christmas Tree. He looked around and everyone had their eyes on him.

"Well…what are you waiting for? Open it!" Remus said.

Snape bent down and picked up the smallest package. He opened it carefully and when he was done, he saw that it was a foldable Potion's diary, an ink bottle and a fine quill.

"We knew you were coming…Hermione told us. So we bought you a little something. You can jot down little notes in it using the ink and the quill we bought you. The quill never breaks, and cleans itself. The ink…when you're finished with it, refills itself too! The potion's diary…well…you just tap it with your wand, and it folds up, so you can put it anywhere…when you reach the end of the diary, the pages refill too…just tap your wand at the end of the paper. Oh…and the pages don't break…so don't worry about losing any." Tonks explained.

"Thank you. I-I didn't get you anything." Snape responded.

"Oh, don't worry about it. That's what Christmas is for. Giving and not expecting to receive anything in return." Remus answered.

"Open the next present Severus." Hermione said.

Snape bent down and picked his next present up. It was a bit bigger, but quite heavy. He ripped open the paper and suddenly, a self-cleaning, portable cauldron unfolded before his eyes.

"I bought you this one. The one at your home's dreadful. This one's self-cleaning, and it's portable. Meaning, just like your potions diary, it folds up…or well…crumples. Look inside it." Hermione added.

Snape peered inside the now full-sized cauldron and he saw some potion ingredients.

"I thought you might need some more. So I got you a few rare ones, and a few that you'd need day-to-day." Hermione explained.

"Thank you. This…this is wonderful." Snape thanked.

Then he remembered. He put the cauldron down and asked to be excused for a moment. A few minutes later, he came down again and entered the family room. He was carrying Hermione's Christmas present under his arm.

"This is for you Hermione." He said, and gave her her present.

"Oh, thank you Severus!"

She opened the package and before her lay the potions book she'd always wanted. She gasped and said,

"Oh my gosh! Severus, this is wonderful! I wanted this book so much! Thank you!"

"My pleasure. Open the book, it'll verbally explain to you the process of how to make a potion. If you scratch the pictures of the ingredients, or instructions, you can smell them, or they will show you how to make them step by step. Or if you'd like, you can just read them yourself and figure out how to do them. There are some pretty advanced and difficult potions in there." Snape said.

"Oh thank you so much!!" and Hermione ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.

Snape staggered for a moment but hugged her back. He was getting used to her hugs…and in fact, he enjoyed them.

"You're welcome Hermione."

Dinner was amazing. Mr. Weasley had to work that day…being he was promoted, but he came back for dinner. Everyone sang Christmas carols…well everyone with the exception of Snape, and everyone enjoyed themselves. Bill and Fleur came over too, but went upstairs to their room, quite abruptly after they finished dessert and Egg Nog.

"It's been a long day." Bill answered when they were asked why they were leaving so soon.

When the day was over, Hermione and Snape went up to her room and got ready for bed. Snape took out his wand and was going to conjure a bed so that he could sleep on it, but Hermione stopped him.

"Snape, sleep with me…on the same bed. I need to know that you'll be there when I open my eyes. I need to be able to roll over and hold onto you when I need you." Hermione pleaded.

Snape hesitated for a bit, but soon agreed. They were both on the bed and Hermione had her head on Snape's chest while his arms were around her keeping her close to him.

He was going to have a great sleep tonight. He knew it. Somehow, he needed her as much as he thought he did. This was going to be the best Christmas holidays ever.

He turned off the lights and they both fell quickly to sleep.

It felt like Christmas after all.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**a/n: I just finished this chappy...and i thought...hmmm...maybe i can upload this chappy just to tease your senses...) i hope you don't hate me. P Enjoy!! and again..R&R!**

**heartaspr.**

**A Confession**

It's been a while since someone had to wake Snape up from his sleep because he always seemed to wake up himself, but this morning, Hermione opened her eyes and to her surprise, she saw Severus Snape lying next to her with his eyes still shut. She was expecting him to be wide awake and ready to greet her with something like 'Oh joy…the lioness is finally awake…'with his monotone voice and bored expression, but he was actually fast asleep and he looked rather peaceful and-if she dared to think-quite…cute. She smiled and rolled over so that she was now standing, and a few minutes later, she came out of the bathroom with a baggy hoodie on, and sweatpants.

"Still asleep," she thought, and smiled. She walked over to her side of the bed and gently placed herself onto it beside Severus.

Hermione stared at his features for a while and noticed that he looked rather serene. He didn't look anything like the regular Severus Snape whom always had a grudge on someone and a frown on his face, but someone who looked very innocent. There were a few strands of hair in front of his face, so Hermione gently brushed it away, and his face twitched but he didn't wake. She checked the time and saw that it was 10:30 a.m. so she decided to wake him up.

"Severus," she whispered and nudged his arm, "Severus, wake up. It's time to wake up Severus." She repeated as she gently shook his arm.

He grunted and moaned, and finally he opened his eyes.

The second he opened his eyes, he saw Hermione looking down at him and smiling.

"God, she's beautiful." He thought.

"Good morning Severus." Hermione whispered.

"Good morning." He muffled back. "What time is it?" he asked.

"It's 10:30." She answered.

He quirked his eyebrow as if he didn't believe her.

"Really?" was all he said, and Hermione just nodded.

He got off the bed and walked over to the washroom. He hasn't slept that long in ages, and it actually felt quite…awkward…yet…great at the same time. The word was…refreshed. That's the word. That's how he felt. He splashed a handful of cold water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He recalled the words that Draco had told him,

"_You've changed Snape."_

"…_it seems that your few days with Hermione's been working…"_

"Few days with Hermione? How did he know?" Snape asked himself.

"What has become of you Severus? What the bloody hell is wrong with you? You're letting Hermione Granger, a former student…get to you." His conscience told him.

"Well it's not like I don't…_enjoy_ her company." But a knock on the washroom door broke his thoughts.

"Severus," Hermione called, "Mrs. Weasley's made us some lunch, would you like to come downstairs?"

He opened the door,

"I'd love to." He replied.

Severus was in a black shirt and black pants when he opened the door and again, Hermione had to give him a pitiful look.

"Don't look at me that way." Severus said, and Hermione gave him one last look before she turned her head and walked away.

"Aren't you going to walk with me?" Severus called.

But she ignored him. He smiled and thought; _today's going to be a long day._

The minute he stepped into the dining room, Remus and Tonks said 'good morning', and following them was Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

"Good morning." Snape replied, and he sat himself beside Hermione whom was clearly ignoring him.

All of them began to eat and whilst Severus was scooping some potatoes, he scooped some for Hermione and whispered,

"Why are you so mad at me for? I didn't do anything."

"I'm not mad…just…ashamed." She replied.

He placed the bowl of potatoes down and again whispered,

"Ashamed? Why?"

"Your choice of clothing." She answered.

Everyone left the table except Snape, Harry and Ron. When Harry and Ron noticed that Snape was still there, they started talking unnecessarily loud as if he wasn't there.

"I can't _believe_ mother lets the 'greasy-haired git' stay with us. It's ridiculous."

"I can't blame her; I guess she feels sorry for him. You know, being that he has no life and all."

Snape just sat there while they were talking until he heard Harry say he was a jerk.

"WHAT…IS YOUR PROBLEM? Why can't you look a little deeper into things? Stop being so hard headed just like your father." He shot.

"Don't you dare…don't you dare Snape." Harry retaliated.

"Dare what? I can do whatever I please."

"Don't you dare talk about my father. You're not worthy to even speak his name."

"Oh, of course I'm not. I'm not worthy of anything in your eyes. Why can't you see things more clearly. What's wrong with you? I've put up with enough of your foul mouthing Potter. I deserve some respect." He demanded as he stood up swiftly.

"You deserve nothing from me." Harry replied, with his eyes glaring into Snape's. Harry stood up just like Snape and they both looked like they were ready to kill each other.

"Potter, you are just as stupid…just as arrogant…just as much a fool like your father. You disgrace Professor Albus Dumbledore." Snape spat.

"Shut up! Shut…up! How dare you speak his name! You're dirt to his name."

"HARRY," came a distinct roar from the doorway of the kitchen.

Snape and Harry snapped their heads towards the doorway and saw Remus and Tonks standing there. Remus looked fumed whilst Tonks was calm but didn't say anything. Snape still looked bewildered and was panting a bit, and Harry was angered to the point that he looked as if he was going to explode.

"Harry, come here. I need to speak with you." Remus continued sternly.

Harry hesitated but soon listened and he followed him.

"Snape, I think you should come in too." Remus said and turned to Ron, "Ronald, I think you should come and listen to what I have to say…call the others too."

"O…okay." Ron answered.

Ron went up the stairs and called everyone down to the living room while Snape, Harry, Tonks, and Remus went into the living room and sat themselves in a chair.

"Snape, conjure us some chairs why don't you? I don't think there'll be enough." Tonks whispered.

"Fine." Was all he said, and he took his wand out and conjured up some decent armchairs. By the time he finished, everyone had came into the room and found themselves a chair to sit on.

Remus waited for a bit until he started to talk,

"I have called everyone here right now because I would like to discuss the matters on Severus. I think it is about time that we have to discuss this and I think Severus has had enough of this 'foul-mouthing' from people, and he needs some support…at least from us." And with that, he glanced over at Harry.

Harry gave a rather loud grunt at this but disguised this as a cough/snort. There was a long pause and Severus felt a little awkward. He remembered that Remus and him had a major confrontation during Harry's third year at Hogwarts and that during Severus' years in school, Remus was in James' 'group', and that didn't really go so well either. He was rather surprised that Remus was actually standing here right now and trying to support him and persuade others to believe in him. In fact, he couldn't really believe that he was currently residing in a house in which he was once associated with when Albus Dumbledore was alive. He couldn't believe that he was living with the people whom he used to be in contact with when Voldemort was still in reign and when they were trying to destroy him.

Breaking the silence, Remus cleared his throat and started,

"As we all know, Snape was a member of the Order."

"Yeah, but he betrayed us. That git." Harry interrupted.

Remus was getting frustrated and angry at Harry's sudden outbursts and his heartless comments. Remus must admit, Severus was right; Harry was very much like his father James. He sighed and said,

"Harry, if you could please keep your comments and your rude outbursts to yourself until I'm done and we all disperse, it would be greatly appreciated."

Harry didn't say anything and Remus continued.

"First of all Severus," he said as he turned to look at Snape, "There is something Hermione needs to tell you before I begin."

Severus merely sat there and waited. He didn't look at Hermione or Remus; he didn't even look at anyone else. He just sat there, and looked down. He braced himself for any sudden news of information that would strike him.

"Severus," came Hermione's soft, serene voice, "I…I must…" she paused and told herself to 'relax'. She took in a deep breath and let it out and continued, "I must confess something to you…"

Snape's eyes grew and he slowly brought his head up. He stared out in front and then slowly brought his head towards Hermione. Hermione's eyes looked sad and were watery as she gazed back into his. It looked like she was pleading to him. Snape was nervous…and scared…_"What is she going to tell me…?" he wondered._

Everyone else's eyes were on the two and there was a thick cloud of anticipation and eagerness hovering around them in the room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Severus' Story**

**a/n: Happy Hallowe'en guys! here's a little treat from me to you as promised. Enjoy! sorry about chapter 14 though...it's a bit...too short..but i make it up to you in the 15th. Hope you guys like it. R&R!**

**-heartaspr**

After Hermione was done, everyone was silent and was looking around. Severus and Hermione's eyes-amongst everyone's heads turning to look at each other-remained glued upon each other. Severus was questioning her with his eyes, and Hermione replied with desperation in hers.

As Remus started talking, Severus and Hermione eventually tore their eyes away from each other and paid attention to Remus.

"Like I was saying, we all know Severus was part of the Order while Dumbledore was alive. We all also know that Albus trusted in him, and that Severus was to be doing something only he and Albus knew about. That's one of the reasons why everyone was always speculating about what he was doing; if he was really on our side, or really a Death Eater; if he was trustworthy according to Albus, the wisest wizard of our time or if he was just faking it. Then…well…the tragic night came, and not any one of us were prepared for it. We knew it was coming, we were just too foolish to except that it would. We were-in a sense- neglecting the fact that this would happen, because in our eyes, it could never happen.

"Of course, I'm talking about the night the Death Eaters came to Hogwarts," everyone was even more silent, "The night Albus died."

Mrs. Weasley gave a sudden gasp when Remus said this, and she turned beet red because of embarrassment. Severus looked rather…distraught. He looked as if he didn't like where he was right now and where this was going.

"Naturally, everyone hated Severus-no offense and everything to you Severus." He added as he turned to Severus. Severus replied with a nod. "But we really didn't know the true story. Most of us…hard-headedly, didn't want to hear what he had to say, and unfortunately, it lead to his many…brutal years in Azkaban.

"And then, all of a sudden he became the biggest news of the year. He was on all the front pages of magazines and newspapers. Severus wasn't guilty and he-apparently-was told..." but he was interrupted.

"Not told, ordered. Forced. Demanded," Came Severus' voice behind Remus.

"Sorry Severus. He was…ordered…forced…demanded, by Albus Dumbledore himself, to kill him." Remus corrected.

"Anyway, I think Hermione should…do the rest of the speaking…for she truly knows what had happened."

"Thank you Remus." Hermione began as she stood up, and Remus took her place on her chair.

"Well, as most of you know…I have been talking to most of you…secretly…and Severus didn't know…well…until now that I've said it out. I've talked to Remus and Tonks, and they understand and have accepted the fact that Severus didn't kill Professor Dumbledore on purpose. I've now come to clear the fact that Severus was…well I can't really say he wasn't a horrible man…because he was…no offense to you or anything Severus…but he wasn't really what we all expected him to be.

"Severus, although he picked on many students and used his power and authority as a Professor to his advantage, he was really a very misunderstood person. He made many mistakes during his life, but then again all of us make mistakes…his were more…life threatening mistakes but he learned that he was wrong…unfortunately though…he learned the hard way. Harry, I don't mean to pick on you or anything…" and Ron gave a little snort, "and you too Ronald," Hermione said as she glared at his direction, and Ronald brushed his ridiculous smirk off his face.

"Harry, Ron…and even the rest of you…Severus was really mean to us…all of us…and yes, he did have an unusual hatred and grudge against you Harry and you found it offensive because you really didn't do anything to him, and I'm not saying what he did was right…but don't you think you guys are acting a little…folly? And don't think I forgot about you Severus…"she said as she turned around to face him. "You're acting a bit folly and childish too."

"Harry…Severus didn't want to kill Professor Dumbledore…in fact, it was the last thing in his mind…not even the last thing. He didn't ever think of it. Professor Dumbledore and Severus had a bond that no one understood, and no one questioned. The night Severus killed Professor Dumbledore, well…that was all planned; all of you know that, you just don't want to believe it."

"How do we know that's true Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"Well, we can't know for sure…but Professor Dumbledore did excuse Severus of all accusations. We've just got to trust in Dumbledore…in Severus." She replied.

"What if someone forged it? What if the letter was a fake just to get _his_ arse out of Azkaban?" Fred asked in turn, glaring at Snape.

"Who could possibly forge Albus Dumbledore's writing?" Tonks asked.

No one answered. It was true. Dumbledore's writing was too sophisticated and distinct that no one could've forged it. The way he thought, and acted was completely different from what everyone would've acted and thought like.

"Exactly. Thank you Tonks." Hermione said and Tonks beamed. "Besides, I doubt the Death Eaters would want to excuse Severus from Azkaban. They hated him for betraying them, and their… 'Dark Lord'. And who else would go through all of the trouble to forge Dumbledore's writing and start a whole new topic in the news, just so that the supposed killer of Albus Dumbledore would be let out of Azkaban…where everyone…unfortunately thought that that's where he should be?" Hermione asked. She wasn't really expecting an answer but Harry's fat mouth interrupted her.

"I dunno…maybe someone like…you!?"

Severus stood up abruptly, warning Harry that he'll kill him if he uttered another single word, and in response, Harry stood up and so did Ron, but Severus was forced to sit down because Hermione told him that it was all right and she knew something like this would happen. She was frustrated and angered…but she continued without giving any eye contact with Harry or Ron.

"No, Harry…I did no such thing. I have a bit more respect to Professor Dumbledore than you expect I do." She said bitterly, and coldly. She turned and called upon Severus to tell everyone what the true story was…if he didn't mind.

Hesitantly, he stood up.

"It's alright Severus. We'll help you if you need any." Tonks whispered and smiled.

He nodded in recognition and began his speech,

"I guess…being the fact that I no longer have to hide my…identity…here's my story. I'll leave it up to you to believe me or not.

"When I was…young…and in Hogwarts, I was an outcast. I was constantly put down by a certain group of…Gryffindors." He started and glanced at Remus whom was a bit trodden by his guilt and regret.

Severus continued, "I hated the way people treated me and I felt that no one understood me. People judged me for the way I looked, what I enjoyed doing, etc. but they never got to know me…well…with the exception of one or two…" this time he looked at Harry and Hermione. Severus remembered that Harry's mother Lily understood him well…and so did Hermione…or at least…she was starting to.

"I had a thirst for someone to know how I felt. A thirst for a sense of self satisfaction…but I never thought to kill. I never had a thirst for that…_Never._ I joined the Dark…Voldemort," he tried to refrain from using the name only Voldemort's followers would use, "Dark Lord". "Because he promised me that I will be able to see the people I hated suffer and feel like I felt…I would be able to have a sense of self satisfaction…and I'd be loved…and I'd have friends.

"But he lied! I did see people suffer…but not the ones I intended to suffer…and when that night came…the night that…Voldemort went out to kill Potter," Ron, Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley and Harry felt squeamish. "I regretted ever becoming a Death Eater. I regretted ever telling Voldemort the prophecy. I begged and begged that he wouldn't harm Lily or her child…and yes…even a part of me hoped and wished that James wouldn't be hurt too." With this Severus seemed to look saddened and distraught, and Harry actually seemed to feel sympathy towards him. This information seemed to be quite a blow in the face, and Harry never expected anything of this from his most hated Professor in the whole universe. There was a kind of remorse sense in the air, while it took Snape a few minutes to recollect his composure. After the few minutes, he looked up again and continued.

It was very awkward for everyone except Hermione because they've never seen this side of him before. They've never seen Snape soft and pitiful. He always had a snarl on his face.

"I went to Dumbledore," he started and everyone was surprised at his forcefulness and bitterness in his voice, and everyone was attentive again. "to seek help. He offered it, and I took it. He offered me a post in Hogwarts as a Potions Professor, and at that time, I would do anything to hide from my past and be protected under Dumbledore from Voldemort.

"But there was one promise I had to make to Dumbledore…a vow I could not break. I had to swear to him that I'd protect the Potter boy and I'd do anything that would be needed to protect him…including killing the most wonderful man I've ever met in the world…the person that loved me the most…the person that showed me that people cared for me…he was like the father I never had…but I had to watch him die…and I did it. I killed him." He turned his saddened, tortured eyes towards Harry's and asked,

"I was the one who assisted you in finding the real Gryffindor Sword. It was I who sent you the Doe. Every time I dueled you, I've tried to correct you by bluntly telling you what you're doing was wrong. Yet time and time again, you've hurt me…time and time again you've agonizingly reminded me of my past and of your father. Do you have any idea as to how much it hurt me to kill? It hurt me more than any of you could imagine. It hurt me more than it hurt you Potter, to watch the one man I trusted the most…the one man I truly admired and looked up to, and all I could do was hide how I felt because my task wasn't done yet. Protecting you and saving you had not finished…Voldemort was still out there. Time and time again I had to risk my life for you. Time and time again I had to be afraid of my life and letting down Albus. I was afraid that one wrong action that I did, one utter of a word that was forbidden would ruin Dumbledore's plan to protect you. It would kill you. Do you see Potter? I've risked my life for you. Do you see that everything I have done, everything you've seen was for a reason and you were part of the reason?

"Yet you're so much like your father. You're as hard headed, as foolish, as self-centered. You only thought of yourself. You thought you were the boss of everything…that it was up to you to save everyone's life. It was. Don't be mistaken. It was up to you to save our lives. But do you have any idea as to how many people risked _their_ lives to protect and save yours? If they hadn't done this, if your mother and your arrogant father didn't sacrifice their life for you, you wouldn't have been able to survive. If Dumbledore hadn't sought to it himself to see you fulfill your task and to see you protected throughout your task, you wouldn't have survived. Everything came for a cost; a HUGE cost…a sacrifice. Yet you take it for granted.

"Tell me Potter, when was the last time you thanked your mother and father silently? When was the last time you visited Dumbledore's portrait in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts and personally thanked him for protecting you and believing in you? When was the last time you thanked him for giving you everything and everyone you needed to help you fulfill your task? Tell me when was the last time you thanked your friends for believing in you and sticking with you till the very end? When was the last time you thanked Molly or Arthur…or Remus and Tonks for loving you and taking care of you? Dumbledore gave you your friends, he gave you added protection; he gave you a family; he let you experience love from another father-your Godfather; he gave you chances, love… He gave you his life." He paused so that everything he said could sink in.

"Your father and his friends have hurt me immensely, but I still hoped and prayed that he wouldn't be hurt. Your father was horrible to me. I hated him. You can't blame me for hating you. You've remind me too much of your father and my regrets and… my guilt."

He was finished and he stood there. His eyes were tearing and staring into Harry's eyes. Harry couldn't take it…he looked away ashamed. He couldn't bear seeing this man hurt because of him and his father.

The sudden reality that hit the room was noticeable through the silence that was being emitted from everyone. Nobody knew that Severus Snape would be able to feel…hurt. Nobody knew that Severus Snape would be able to actually tear and cry. Nobody knew that he could suffer that much.

Harry felt ashamed of himself and his father. He inflicted so much pain in Snape's life and he didn't know why…but a part of him couldn't blame himself. Snape was a complete jerk towards him.

Minutes later, Snape strode out of the room and went upstairs. Apparently, he couldn't take much more of this. It was killing him to see all those shocked faces who knew nothing about him or his life; who all just assumed the latter of him. He had to escape the tension so he ran up the stairs.

In the living room, Hermione looked around and excused herself as she went up the stairs behind Severus. She managed to land on the floor of their room by the time she saw Severus' heel in the doorway.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Trying to Work Things Out**

Hermione creaked open the bedroom door and peered through the crack. She found Severus sitting on the edge of the bed with his back facing her and hunching over with his head in his hands. He didn't look like he was crying, but he did look like he didn't know what to do, like he was frustrated.

"Severus?" she whispered as she stepped into the room.

He didn't move.

"Severus, it's me." She whispered again as she moved across the room and positioned herself on top of the bed beside Severus.

Seeing as he didn't answer, Hermione placed her hand on his back and rubbed it comfortingly. It was a while until he tore his head away from his hands and he looked at Hermione. His eyes were red from tears and he looked hurt and confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked in desperation.

"T-Tell you what?" Hermione asked, surprised at the sudden awkward question.

"Tell me what? Why didn't you tell me your confession earlier?"

"I-I didn't know…" she didn't know what to say…and concluded with a, "I didn't know you wanted to know. Really Severus. I'm sorry."

"You'd think I wouldn't want to know? Do you have any idea as to how much I've been torturing myself because I knew this was wrong? Do you have any idea as to how much I've been denying and neglecting the fact that this could ever happen? Do you have any idea as to how many times I've thought I was crazy?" he exclaimed, fumed.

"Wha…what could ever happen Severus?" Hermione asked, confused.

"You know exactly what _could ever happen_ Hermione. Don't play stupid with me. Don't play the 'I'm-an-innocent-little-girl'. I know you're smarter than that." Snape said rather coldly.

"I'm, going to…leave you alone, so that you can relax." Hermione whispered, hurt, and she left.

When Severus saw her leave, he gave a loud scream and kicked the bed. He was frustrated. _"Why didn't she tell me this before? This could've made things MUCH easier. UGH!"_ he thought.

Before dinner time, Severus made his way downstairs. He was calmer…but still in a slightly bad mood. He could smell the delicate fragrances and robust spices that Mrs. Weasley had used to make her wonderful meals, and that was actually the main reason as to why he went downstairs.

When he landed the floor, he walked into the kitchen expecting everyone to be turn dead silent, but when he walked in, everyone looked and smiled and said, "Hello Severus!" and he was rather…surprised; everyone, with the exception of Harry.

"Hello." He replied with his monotone. He walked in, and really didn't know what to do. Dinner wasn't ready yet, people were helping out, but he noticed that the Potter boy was sitting at the table with Remus, Tonks, and their son Teddy, but was very silent.

Mentally, Snape was fighting with himself.

"_Should I go over there? It'd be awkward. I think I should though. UGH Severus, make up your mind!"_

In the end, he did walk up to Harry. He stood towering over him, but Harry still hadn't noticed.

"Potter." He said, as he looked down his hooked nose.

Harry whipped his head upward and saw Snape hovering over him.

"Snape…Professor Snape." Harry corrected.

For the first time in Severus' life, he smirked. But not because he was happy at accomplishing something…evil, but because he was amused at how Harry was trying to be respectful. He sat down beside Harry but a little bit further away from him.

"I…haven't seen you sitting alone and being quiet- a better change for the future?" Snape asked sarcastically.

Harry smirked…surprisingly, and replied with, "I've been thinking…"

"…For once." Snape added, but he said it jokingly. He was rather enjoying this conversation. It was going somewhere without them having to fight.

"Yeh…for once." Harry paused and then said, "Listen Professor, I'm so…sorry, for everything I've put you through…everything I've done to you…and everything my father, and God Father have done to you."

Snape put up a hand and Harry stopped.

"You have no reason for apologizing for what your father and your Godfather have done to me. You didn't do what they did, it wasn't your fault. You weren't even born. But I'm thankful that you have some remorse for me, and I'm also thankful that you'd even take it into your own hands to make it up to me. Thank you." he finished.

"Professor," Harry started.

"Yes?"

"May we be…somewhat like friends?" he finished.

"Somewhat?" Snape asked, and he quirked his eyebrow inquisitively.

"Well, I don't know if we can be friends for sure. We still have a lot to sort out, and it'll take some getting used to." Harry explained.

"I agree. I guess we can be acquaintances for now, until we get used to being around each other." Snape suggested.

Harry nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure Ron, the twins, and Ginny'll come around. I part of them hates you because I did, but you've got to admit; you were quite harsh to us during our school years."

"I was. I…I apologize." Snape confessed.

"Wow. I never thought you had it in you Professor." Harry exclaimed. "I never thought you could actually say sorry."

He smirked, "I never thought I had it in me too, but I've grown accustomed to saying it…especially with her around." He said as he looked at Hermione.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 

**New Years**

Days passed and it was New Years. Things seemed to have-surprisingly- been getting better, and Snape gradually felt as if this was his home, his family. After the little confession from both Hermione and himself, people started treating him like a member of their "family". Snape and Hermione's friendship were getting stronger, and they've learned to spend more time alone together rather than with the others. They've gotten to understand and know each other better, but there was always this awkward feeling towards each other.

Harry and Snape have grown accustomed with being in the same room at the same time, and they've grown a little closer too. Again, it was still quite awkward, but it was better than before. If Snape could actually say so himself, he never would have thought he could be this happy in his life.

It was New Years, and Snape woke up at his usual time now, which was no longer 4 or 5 in the morning, but 8:30 to 9:00 in the morning. Unfortunately, this morning, he didn't find Hermione up and looking at him when he opened his eyes.

He gently nudged the 'Sleeping Beauty' and she scrunched her face, grunted, moaned and turned around.

Smiling, Severus leaned over close enough to smell the beautiful fragrance of her hair but just far enough not to touch her. He gently shook her and whispered in her ear,

"Hermione, Sleeping Beauty, it's time to wake up. You're prince has come." He joked.

"Mmm…" Hermione sounded as she turned around and formed a smile on her face.

Snape smiled and moved further as she turned around, but he was still close enough that he was leaning over and still looking at her beautiful face.

Seconds later, Hermione opened her mouth and said, "I can't wake up unless my charming prince kisses me. It's the rule for fairytales."

He smirked, and replied, "Well, who said I was your prince? I'm going to have to go and call upon Potter, or Weasley to come and do that job. They're right here as a matter of fact" he lied and Hermione's eyes shot wide open. She looked around and saw that Harry and Ron were not there and playfully hit Severus on his arm. He chuckled and said,

"Well, that got you up."

"That's not funny."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not. It's not funny at all. That was really mean of you." she retaliated.

"Well of course you wouldn't find it funny. It happened to you. It was rather amusing for me to see your reaction on your face."

"You owe me a kiss." She concluded and stuck out her tongue.

Severus was quiet for a moment and then replied with, "I didn't know you would actually want a kiss from me."

Hermione smiled and said wickedly, "Oh trust me Severus, you don't know many things about me." And she got up, leaving Severus stunned, and she made her way to the washroom. As she walked to the washroom, Snape smiled. _"This is interesting."_ He thought.

They made their way into the kitchen and saw that everyone was crowded around the table.

"What is it?" Hermione asked curiously as she and Snape pushed their way through.

"Severus, you've got a letter." Mrs. Weasley answered.

Severus finally managed to push his way through and saw that sure enough, there was a letter with very neat and crisp cursive writing on the envelope saying:_ To Mr. Severus Snape_. He picked it up and stared at it for a while.

"Open it Severus." Harry said. Snape had told Harry and the rest of them not to call him Professor, since it wasn't his job at the present.

Giving it a one last look, he tore open the mouth of the envelope. He read it through once, and then twice, and then the third time was when it all had sunk through.

_Dear Mr. Severus Snape,_

_As Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I, Professor Minerva McGonagall am formally asking you to retake your post as a Professor for Potions, Potions Master, and Head of Slytherin House._

_Unfortunately, Professor Horace Slughorn has retired from his post as Professor for Potions and Head of Slytherin House due to old age. As a result, I have chosen you to take this post and be a part of our staff. If you agree (and if you don't) I would like to hear from you, the latest being the 2__nd__ of January as students and staff will be returning from the Christmas holidays as early as the 3__rd,__ for class will be starting on the 4__th_

_Hope to be hearing from you soon,_

_Professor Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress of Hogwarts_

_School of Witchcraft _

_And Wizardry. _

Snape lowered the letter and stared out into space.

"Severus, what was it about?" Hermione asked.

"Minerva wants me to take up my post as Professor for Potions, Potions Master, and Head of Slytherin." He answered while still staring out into nothingness.

"That's great Severus! Surely you're going to take it?" Remus beamed.

"I…I don't know." Snape replied.

"Oh, come off it Severus. Of course you're going to take the post. It beats living in your house all day." Hermione said.

"What about you?" Severus asked and he finally turned around and faced Hermione.

"What about me?" she asked.

"Where will you stay?" Severus said.

"I'm sure the Headmistress could arrange for Hermione to stay at Hogwarts Severus." Draco answered, "I'm sure she would be more than pleased to have House Prefect of Gryffindor; top female student of her house living within the castle walls. Besides, she could help you teach so you wouldn't have to face more student faces than you would want." He joked.

"Yeh Severus, I'm sure it'll be fine. Please take the post…please." Hermione begged.

"Yeh Severus," Harry added, "It'd be fun. It could be like old times again, except, you wouldn't have us to nag at you." he joked.

"Go on Severus. Come on." Mr. Weasley encouraged.

Snape turned to Ginny and said, "Get me some parchment and a quill and ink."

Ginny turned and ran upstairs, seconds later, she returned with a packet of parchment, a quill and ink. She gave it to Snape and he quickly wrote his reply.

_Dear Headmistress Professor Minerva McGonagall,_

_I have agreed to take up the posts: Professor for Potions, Potions Master, and Head of Slytherin. I will start on the 4__th__ of January but will return to the castle on the 3__rd__. Please have my dungeons, my personal storage and my classroom ready for that time. If I could also trouble you with another room, if possible next to or near my quarters that would be greatly appreciated, as I do have an apprentice, and she would be more than happy to assist me in teaching Potions._

_Hoping to see you soon,_

_Severus Snape_

He folded up the parchment, put it in an envelope and sent it off with Harry's owl, Hedwig.

"Wait for a reply." Severus ordered. Hedwig hooted in response and was sent off.

Minutes later, Hedwig returned with yet another envelope.

Severus opened it and it read,

_Dear Professor Severus Snape,_

_I am pleased to announce that you are now a Professor in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will be teaching Potions, and you will be filling the posts: Potions Master and Head of the House of Slytherin._

_I will have your quarters, your storage room, and your classroom ready by the 3__rd__ of January, and I will be pleased to inform you that the separate quarters you have asked for will be right in yours. It will be linked with a door, as I think you've informed me that it was going to be a female rather than a male. _

_See you on the 3__rd_

_Professor Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress of Hogwarts_

_School of Witchcraft_

_And Wizardry_

* * *

That night, Severus was happy. Exceptionally happy. Hermione and Severus went into their room and were ready to sleep when Severus caught Hermione arm and pulled her into an embrace. Shocked, Hermione gasped and steady herself by putting a hand on his chest.

Snape gazed deeply into her twinkling eyes and lowered his lips to hers. He wasn't really expecting her lips to touch his and was expecting her to move away, but she didn't and his lips met her soft, delicate, gentle lips.

After about 3 seconds, he pulled away and looked into her eyes again. They didn't need any words to explain what they were both thinking. He lowered his lips to hers again, but this time more forcefully, telling her what he wanted…how much he wanted it. She gasped and he took this to her advantage. He moved closer to her and his tongue soon met hers. It took a while for Hermione to respond, but when she did, their tongues started to gently dance around each others tongue.

Slowly, and steadily, they began to quicken their kissing and when Severus seemed to feel he couldn't resist her anymore, he pulled back, reluctantly.

"That was the kiss I owe you, my Sleeping Beauty."

She smiled and replied,

"Thank you, my Prince Charming."

And they kissed again.

Gradually, Severus moved his hands lower on her back towards her lower abdomen. He found the bottom of her shirt, and tugged at it, hinting that he wanted to take it off. Hermione pulled back from him and started to take it off, revealing her stomach, then her bra, and then her chest, until she was only in her bra, and pants.

He leaned in and planted a brief kiss on her lips and pulled back. Hermione started to unbutton his black shirt so he was left topless.

Gazing down at Hermione's beautifully developed figure, he moved closer again and kissed her. Starting at her lips and moving lower to her neck slowly. Hermione closed her eyes and a moan escaped from her lips.

"Oh Severus," she whispered, and he moved his hands to the clasp on her bra. He unclasped it and it fell off her shoulders, now leaving her topless.

They moved closer to their bed and he gently laid her down, supporting her head as he kissed and re-kissed her lips lovingly.

Again, he planted kisses all over her cheekbone down to her neck, and gave her a few hikkies.

"Mmm…Severus. That hurts." Hermione whispered and tried to push him away, but he could tell she was enjoying them.

He moved his lips around her neck while his hands were gently searching for her pants. When he found them, he unbuttoned them slowly while he moved lower down her neck.

He finally got her pants unzipped and took his hands away for a moment. He explored her naked skin that was exposed to him while he ever so slowly went down to her collar bone. She smelled beautiful. She had the sweetest fragrance and sweetest skin he had ever smelled or tasted. But then again, he's never made love to anyone…special, and the people he was forced to rape when he was a Death Eater, were screaming for their lives. Most of the time, he told them to escape, and when he was asked where they had gone, he told the Death Eaters that he had already killed them , and hid their bodies. With this though, he never felt love like this before.

Tearing his lips from her body, he found her face and her eyes open and smiling at him.

"_She's so innocent."_ He thought,_ "I don't know if I could do this. My past…what I was, what I did, has caused me enough hurt let alone hurting someone else. I don't want to hurt her."_ But a part of him wanted her too much. He smiled back and pecked at her lips gently, making her moan for more with pleasure.

In hearing her sweet voice moan, it made his tool larger and erect. As he felt it erecting, he let a soft moan escape from his parted lips and began kissing her more forcefully. He started from her collarbone, and went further down to her chest, then reaching her breasts. As he went down, so did his hands and he slowly begun to take off her pants.

She was saying his name now, and was begging for more. He used this to his advantage and started, gently, sucking on her soft delicate nipples, as if she was his mother and was breastfeeding.

While his mouth was working, his hands took off her pants, with a little help of Hermione herself. When it was off, he moved his mouth to her other breast and did the same. He took his hands and gently stroke her inner thighs and went so close to her precious part that he felt her underwear beginning to wet.

"Mm…Hermione." He called, "Hermione, are you a virgin?" he asked.

And she replied with, "Yes."

A part of him felt so honoured touching this girl that has been untouched. He was her first, to his surprise. He felt even more aroused and his penis was fully erect, but he refrained from doing anything else to her. _"It's not the right time…not yet." He told himself._

After much more kissing, he moved up to her lips and kissed her one last time. Reluctantly, he tore his lips from her soft gentle ones, and gazed into her eyes. She looked at him questioningly, asking him why he didn't finish her off.

As if he understood her questioning look, he answered, "It's not the right time Hermione…not yet. We shouldn't."

Disappointed, she nodded and agreed. He was right and she knew it. It wasn't the right time. Not yet…


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**a/n: heyy everyone! I'm back with another chapter. I hope you enjoyed your little Hallowe'en Treat! Now, I give you Chapter 16. Enjoy! Again, please, R&R.**

**-heartaspr.**

**Snape's House**

Snape lay awake the next morning half naked with just his boxers on. He turned over, but made sure he didn't wake her. The soft, smooth skin of her upper back and her shoulders were exposed to him as she was faced the other way. Her curled hair blanketed her back down to her shoulder blades.

He moved his head closer to her and kissed her shoulder affectionately. Seeing as she didn't respond, he kissed her again and maneuvered his hand gently on her naked stomach, and putting his arm around her, occasionally brushing and touching her breasts. His hand moved up and down on her smooth skin, while his mouth was planting tiny kisses on her arm, shoulder and back.

Minutes later, Hermione sensed a wonderful sensation and realized that Snape was gently massaging her breasts, and was kissing her neck. She left her eyes closed but smiled and let out a soft, yet arousing moan.

"Mmm…Severus," she let out. She reached her hand over and touched his face as she turned around.

"Good morning," He greeted with a smile. He kissed her forehead and stroked her arm affectionately.

"Good morning," she replied. Hermione moved closer to Severus and leaned her head on his bare chest. It was strong and sturdy, but wasn't like a jockey or a sports player. It was more masculine and of someone who ran a lot and was great physical shape.

After a while of embracing, he held her head close to his chest, and whispered,

"We have to leave today. We have to go back to my place and pack since I took the post at Hogwarts."

Hermione nodded while her head was still resting on Snape's chest. He cherished the moment he had with her. He never felt like this before, he couldn't say he loved her because he never knew how 'love' felt, though he had a feeling he was in love with Hermione. Another part of him was just so hard-headed. He couldn't bring himself to utter those three simple, yet heartfelt words: "I Love You". He just couldn't.

They were both silent and he still held her head to his bare chest while his other hand held her around her naked waist. He loved the feeling of her naked body against him. The warmth of her body on his, the feeling of her soft, smooth bare skin, the feeling that she might even feel the same about him meant everything to him.

* * *

Snape had his black shirt and his black pants on. His right hand held his black cloak while the other held his luggage case. Standing to his left, was Hermione in her "Muggle" clothing. She wore faded jeans, a gray long-sleeves shirt, and a scarf. In her right hand was her jacket, and her left, her luggage case.

They walked into the kitchen and as they opened the door, they found Mrs. Weasley's cheerful face smiling at them.

"Good morning Hermione, Severus. What would you like for breakfast?" she asked.

"Just a slice of toast please," Snape replied.

"Alright, and you Hermione?"

"Mmm…I'll have the same, thanks." She replied.

Minutes later, Mrs. Weasley brought a plate of toast and marmalade to the table. Severus and Hermione ate it in silence, while Mrs. Weasley was up and about doing her chores and humming quietly to herself.

Breaking the silence, Hermione asked, "Where's everyone else Mrs. Weasley?"

Looking up and still smiling, she replied, "Hmm? Oh, they're still sleeping. It was quite a night last night. I'm surprised you two were able to wake up this early," And she winked at Hermione.

Hermione was taken aback. _"Does she know?" _Hermione thought, _"Can she tell?"_

Severus seemed to have thought the same, and he reached over and squeezed her hand. Whispering the words, "Don't worry." to her.

Finishing their last bite, they thanked Mrs. Weasley and picked up their possessions.

"We must be leaving now," Severus told her.

"So soon? Surely you can stay for lunch? Arthur, Remus, and Tonks would love to say goodbye to you before you leave."

"I'm sorry Molly, but we have to be going. I don't want to be late, and I really need to pack. I'll be needing as much time as possible as there are a few errands I'll be needing to do," He explained.

"Oh alright. I'll tell them you left and you said goodbye," she stubbornly replied.

"Thank you. Thank you for having me," Snape finished.

"Anytime Severus, anytime."

"I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon," Hermione added, and she moved closer to Mrs. Weasley and gave her a hug. When she pulled back, Mrs. Weasley had tears in her eyes, but she forced a smile.

"There's no need to cry Mrs. Weasley, we'll be seeing you soon. I promise. Say goodbye to Ginny and the boys for me. And don't forget little Teddy and Remus and Tonks. Thank you for everything Mrs. Weasley. It was the best Christmas."

Mrs. Weasley nodded and brought them to the door. When they were at the porch, Severus told Hermione to grasp onto his arm, and they apparated to the street of his house.

As they walked, they stayed extremely quiet. When Hermione opened her mouth to say something, he silenced her by abruptly whipping his hand out. She fell silent instantly.

They were just a few paces away from his house, but Severus had already sensed something that morning. _"Something's wrong. Something happened."_ He thought over and over again.

They stopped right in front of his house, and Severus merely stood there staring intently at it. Hermione looked from Snape to his house wondering what on earth was going on.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked quietly.

Snape didn't answer for a few minutes, then, quietly but seriously, he answered, "Something's wrong. Something's happened." As he still stared at his house.

"What's wrong? What happened? Snape, tell me. Please," Hermione whispered worriedly.

Nothing seemed wrong. Nothing seemed to happen. Because of that, it made Hermione nervous. Because she couldn't see that anything was wrong, and Severus knew the contrary, she felt vulnerable, scared even.

Seeing as he didn't answer, Hermione started walking towards the house.

"Stop!" Snape exclaimed, "Not yet. Don't go in yet."

"Why not? What's going on Severus? Tell me," she begged helplessly.

"Come back here." He told her.

"No, I won't go back there. Not unless you tell me what the hell is going on." Hermione replied.

There was silence. Then, Snape whispered, "Let me go in first. You stay behind me. I'll tell you everything inside."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**a.n.** heyy everyone!! omg i'm soooo sorry it took so long..but i was EXTREMELY busy but here's chappy 17. i hope it satisfies your thirst. ) and answers some of your questions. xP please...R&R.

heartaspr.

**Intruder**

As Snape strode towards the front door of his house, grasping onto his wand with his right hand; his cloak bellowing out behind him and Hermione a few strides behind his bellowing cloak, he sensed that someone was either in his house, or had been in his house.

He opened the door slowly and from the minute he put his foot through the door, he saw it clearly.

Hermione gasped and whispered, "Oh my God! What happened here?"

Again, she was silenced by Snape. He walked in a little further into his living room, and saw that everything was in a mess. There were papers everywhere, books were torn and scattered all over the place, glasses were smashed, cupboards were bashed in, his table was over turned with one leg broken off, and chairs were thrown all over the place. His eyes grew at his astonishment.

"_Who came in here? Who did this? Who knew I was living here?"_ he asked himself over and over again.

Then the most important thought had shot into his head and he whipped his head towards his bedroom. He looked at it for a while then he strode into his room swiftly like a cheetah's shadow.

He turned on his light and again, the same cluttered, horrendous mess came into view. Once again, he heard Hermione's gasp.

Quickly, he went over to his personal bookshelf that had shelves slanted, and books torn. Searching through the wreckage, he admitted defeat. He let out a deafening scream and he hit the already broken bookshelf and it hit the ground from his force.

After hearing the big "Boom!" and the finishing, "Clash!" when the bookshelf fell, there was silence. Snape staggered backwards and sat onto his bed. He buried his head in his hands and cried, "No, no, no! This is wrong! This can't be happening."

Hermione moved closer to Severus and sat on the bed. She was hesitant to place her hand on his back comfortingly as her last account when she did that, he nearly screamed her head off; but eventually, she did.

She didn't know what to say, but inevitably she didn't have to. He looked up at her with those sad eyes she couldn't possibly bear looking at, and he explained to her what had happened.

"Before we left," he started, "I had already sensed that someone was following us around town and watching us. I cast a few spells and charms to protect my house before we went Number Twelve Grimmauld Place just in case someone was following us," he paused so that he could let that sink in.

"On this bookshelf, I have _very many_ precious things; inventions that I have made for different potions, notes, corrections on how to fine a potion, drawings…many…things. While I was a Death Eater, Voldemort had always encouraged me to continue on my new discoveries on finding different ways to improve the affect of a potion. I wrote my notes in many books, and one in particular, I had my inventions," he stopped and looked at his toppled bookshelf.

"It had a lot of things in it; a lot of personal, private things. Things I only invented for the eyes of Voldemort, but he never got to see it. I refused to show it to him after I had secretly changed my ways," He explained.

Hermione nodded as she took in everything Snape said.

"Only a few people knew I was doing this. Dumbledore for one, but I doubt he took it…for the obvious. Voldemort, and a few of his close Death Eaters knew about it, but that's it.

"Now, it's gone! I don't know where it is! Someone took it!" he cried in desperation.

Hermione thought for a while and trying to be positive, she said,

"Why don't you look somewhere else? Maybe it's in your drawer or…or…other bookshelves or something. It's got to be here."

"No, no. It can't be anywhere else. I only leave it here! This is the only place I put it so that I can keep an eye on it. It's gone Hermione, it's gone!" he cried.

Without thinking, Hermione got up from her seat on Snape's bed and went over to the toppled bookshelf. Frantically, she searched for any type of book she thought was right. Occasionally she would hold out a book and ask if that was the one, but each time she was greeted with the same dreary response; "No. That's not the one." Each time though, she would not accept the fact that someone had been in his house. Everything was so good, everything felt so good, and now…now something horrible like this just struck her face like a huge gust of wind.

It was past noon by the time Hermione decided to give up. Desperately, she looked at Snape.

"Who? Who knew I lived here? Who could possibly know I lived here and want this book as badly as to going into my house and stealing it? Not to mention going past my barriers around my house. Why would they want it?" he asked himself aloud.

Hermione didn't know what to say to comfort him but she concluded that the least she could do was to be with him and help him. She went over and knelt down in front of him. For a while she stared at him, wanting so much just to hug him; bring his head to her chest and hold onto it, telling him that she would be there for him whenever, wherever no matter what, but she refrained herself from doing so with much control.

After a while though, she gently placed two fingers underneath his chin and lifted his head to face hers.

"It's alright Severus," she whispered. "I'll be here to help you. Come on, let's start packing. If we try, we might even be able to get to Hogwarts tonight and have decent dinner."

He looked at her, then after a while, nodded. Reluctantly, he got off the bed and went into the living room where all the books and papers were. His armchairs and couch were destroyed. He gave a heavy sigh and flicked his wand. At once, everything started to fix itself. Loose papers flew into their definite books, the stuffing from the armchairs and couch fixed itself and miraculously, the fabrics sowed themselves together.

He flicked his wand again and the books flew into the bookshelves into the order that he had them in, the toppled and broken chairs fixed themselves and stood upright and was neatly pushed into the repaired table. The pieces of glass and broken shards cleared, and the liquids on the floor disappeared. Hermione helped him clean his room and within another 15 minutes, everything was back to where it was.

* * *

It was another 3 hours before Severus and Hermione had finished packing everything they needed to bring to Hogwarts. The time read, "4:30 pm" and they were just in time for dinner at Hogwarts.

"I don't know if I should go today. I don't want to shock them," Snape said.

"You won't shock them. I'm sure Professor McGonagall had already informed them about your arrival. It would just be a day earlier," She retaliated.

"Maybe I should inform her before we go?" he suggested.

"How? We don't have an owl," she said.

She was right, they didn't have an owl. He gave in, and Hermione shrunk the boxes and luggage so that it would fit into their pockets. Even though the boxes were small enough to put in your hand, they were still quite heavy but they didn't mind. The boxes had all of Severus' books, diaries, notes, and inventions. He didn't trust leaving his books in his house like he did last time in case that someone came and destroyed house again.

He went into his bedroom to retrieve the last thing he needed. Even though he had very few pieces of "treasure", he still had his mother's heirloom, and still remembered exactly what she said to her before she died, _"Keep this safe Severus. You will need this further on in your life. Keep this safe."_ She repeated.

It was a little box that had the letter "S" on it. His mother had told him that he would find out its purpose when the time was ready. That the box would glow and shimmer and feel warm when it saw fit and that he would know. She warned him not to open it before it glowed but she didn't tell him why. He couldn't help but have an urge-a longing to open it; to see what was inside.

Severus didn't know why he still kept the old thing. Maybe because his mother had given it to him and that she was the only person he ever loved. Or maybe it was because this was the last thing closest to him of his mother since she passed away.

He picked up the small engraved box and held it on the palm of his hand. With his fingers, he traced the fine "S" on the top lid of the box. Behind the "S" were vines that were engraved behind it, entangling the "S". He stared at it for a while, and for a moment, he swore he saw a flash of bluish-white glow coming from the "S", but when he looked back, it was gone.

"Severus!" Hermione called.

Severus whipped his head around and called back, "Yes, I'm coming." And he stuffed the box into his coat pocket and went out.

"What took you so long?" Hermione asked as they stepped out of the house.

"I needed to find something," he explained. It wasn't really a lie, it was a partial lie…he was trying to retrieve something.

"Aren't you going to put charms around your house?" Hermione asked again.

"Why bother? If that person, or persons want to barge into my house, then so be it. I've got nothing in there, nothing precious at least. Why go through all the trouble putting charms around my house knowing they will just be able to slip through them again? Waste of time and energy." He replied.

Hermione nodded. They walked side by side in total silence. The air around them was cold and it had a sense of neglect in it…like someone was watching them, or something was going to happen.

Both of them stopped at the exact same place and at the exact same time,

"Hold onto my arm," Severus ordered. And Hermione did as she was told.

Within seconds they reached the gates just outside Hogwarts grounds._ "I wonder if they changed the charms." _Severus asked himself, but he didn't want to take the risk, as he knew what would happen if he did. He sent his patronus with a message to Minerva.

Shocked, Hermione gasped in recognition of his patronus.

"The Doe!" she exclaimed.

Quirking an eyebrow, he shifted his head slightly so that Severus could see her out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes, _the_ doe, _my_ doe." He replied.

"That doe…that doe was…" but before Hermione could finish her sentence, a figure inside the gate was coming towards them.

"Minerva." Severus whispered silently to Hermione, as to lessening her shock.

As Professor McGonagall reached just about earshot from Severus and Hermione, she exclaimed, "Goodness Severus, you gave me quite a bit of a shock! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow!" Professor McGonagall remarked as she briskly walked towards them.

"Sorry Headmistress," Severus replied. "My _assistant_," he enunciated, "thought it would be wise to _drop in_ a day ahead of time." He mocked and out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione glaring at him as he smirked.

"It's quite alright! Thank heavens I have ordered Mr. Filch to set up your rooms and storage room beforehand, or you wouldn't have had a decent room to stay in!" she arrived at the gate and opened it for them.

"Where's your assistant Severus?" she asked as Severus made his first step onto the school grounds.

"Headmistress," he drawled, "I think I'll be pleased to inform you that Miss. Hermione Granger of your house will be my assistant," he stepped aside and revealed, was Hermione in her Muggle clothing with a serene smile on her face.

"Professor McGonagall." Hermione greeted.

"Goodness! This night keeps getting more and more unexpected. Hermione! This is such a pleasant surprise! Come in, come in! You're just in time for supper."

They started walking and Severus had a funny feeling in his chest. He didn't know if it was of relief or if he was nervous. He looked up and saw the Astronomy Tower.

As Hermione and Professor McGonagall kept walking, he fell back. He was staring at the Tower. His eyes were stern and he winced as he remembered the horror of that night. Everything flashed in his eyes; the Death Eaters, Malfoy, Dumbledore, the Green Light…

It was as if Hermione sensed something was wrong. She looked back and indeed, he was staring at the Tower. She whispered a few words to McGonagall and she nodded in reply while she stood there and waited. Hermione walked to Snape whom didn't realize her presents until she gently cupped his elbow with her hand. He looked down at her, startled, but his eyes softened when he recognized her. Strangely enough, he wanted her there with him and whenever he saw her, he felt that much safer, and more relaxed, like he wasn't alone; that someone was there for him.

She gave him a reassuring smile and tugged on his elbow; hinting to him that they should start making their way in the castle. Snape nodded and followed Professor McGonagall along the path to the front doors while he walked beside Hermione. Minutes later, they finally arrived at the castle doors. Professor McGonagall pushed the door open and whispered,

"Welcome back, Professor Snape." And she smiled. Professor Snape looked at her not knowing what to say.

He was greeted with the warm lights of the castle, the staircase, the chandelier, everything he remembered the castle to be. He looked around, and made his sight meet Hermione's and Professor McGonagall's. They were both smiling at him, and he smiled back. Eventually, he nodded in reply.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**a/n:** Hi all!!! i know...i know...it's only 2 chapters...but i promise i'll try and upload atleast 2 more before Christmas. Enjoy! again, please...R&R

heartaspr.

**Welcome Backs**

"Severus," Professor McGonagall called, "shall I show you to your rooms? Or would you like to eat first?" she asked.

He glanced over at Hermione and she shrugged, "It's up to you," she whispered.

It was silent as Snape was thinking of an answer but Professor McGonagall broke it, "Severus, it is 5:15. Supper starts at 5:30, you'll have 15 minutes to get accustomed to your quarters again and freshen up. Miss. Granger here needs to change nonetheless," she said as she nodded to Hermione.

As if that helped Severus make up his mind, he nodded in agreement. Hermione couldn't walk around the castle in her Muggle clothing. He asked his Headmistress if she could show them to their quarters and she replied with, "Of course!"

They walked down to the dungeons and Hermione couldn't help but remember how cold it was down here. It felt as if no one lived there and she remembered when she would have to wait outside Snape's classroom for their Potion's class. She grasped onto her arms and rubbed them as she shivered. Snape, noticing her shiver, took of his cloak, strode over to her and gently placed it on her shoulders.

"Thank you," She said and he smiled.

"Here you are," Professor McGonagall announced a few seconds later. "Severus, you're usual quarters, and Hermione," she said and pointed to the closest door to his, "this is yours. If you two could please set a password…"

Both of them went to their individual doors. They both thought for a while and Severus glanced at Hermione before uttering his password and setting it with his wand. Hermione did the same. She glanced at Snape, whispered her password and set it with her wand.

"Very well then. Satisfied with your passwords I presume? Well then, the last thing I need to tell you is that both your rooms are linked. There's a door linking both your rooms. I suggest a shared password on that one too. I will send a house elf to get you when we have supper."

They nodded and she left. Severus turned his head and looked at Hermione, "You should get in there and change. Come see me when you're done. There's no need to get out of your room to get to mine. Just use the door," and he disappeared through his door and the last thing she saw before she went into her room was the closing of his door.

She scrunched her face, _"What was that about?"_ she let it pass her mind though and went into her room.

Snape lit his many candles in his room. When Severus looked around to his "true" home, he smiled. Yes, it was always dark and dreary in here, maybe even cold but he still loved it. He always felt safe here. It was his home away from home. Slowly, he walked around as if he was in a trance. Brushing his mahogany bed posts and black felt curtains to then walking to his many bookcases and in his mind was how it looked like when it was filled with his precious books-his first love. He made his way to his personal desk. It was small but decent. He used it mostly for reading when he was too lazy to go to his sitting room.

Suddenly, he heard a soft knock from the door that was linked to his and Hermione's room.

"Come in," he whispered, but it was just loud enough for her to hear.

When she walked in, Snape's back was facing her. He was still in a trance and had both his hands on the desk.

"Sev-Severus?" she called. She walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He turned his head slightly and said, "We need to agree on a password."

"_He's acting so weird,"_ she thought. "Yes, we do. Have you thought of any yet?"

"No," was all he said.

"Erm, alright well how about something to do with our last names?" she suggested.

"It's up to you."

"Erm, ok," mentally, she started thinking of a unique password.

"Due Nachnamen gecombineerd," She thought out loud.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "Set it," he told her.

Hermione went over to the door and whispered the words _"Due Nachnamen gecombineerd."_ And set the password with her wand. When she was done, Snape asked, "What does it mean?" but before she could answer, there was a tiny knock on Snape's door. He shot his towards the door and asked defiantly, "Who is it?"

"It is Kreacher sir. Headmistress McGonagall has asked Kreacher to _escort_ sir and Miss. Granger to the Great Hall sir." He wasn't used to saying "escort".

Before Snape had time to let everything sink in, Hermione ran over to his door and blasted it open to find a startled Kreacher looking back.

"KREACHER," Hermione exclaimed and stooped down to hug him.

Smoothly, Snape walked behind her in his bellowing cloak and looked down his hooked nose.

"Miss. Granger, I'd appreciate it if you could kindly let go of poor Kreacher here. He's much too old for your over powering greetings and I'm afraid you'd startle him to death. We wouldn't want that now would we?"

Blushing, Hermione let go and Kreacher was still standing there shocked. It took him a while to recover, but when he did, he led them to the Great Hall.

"Sir, Miss., follow Kreacher please," he bowed.

When he led them to the Great Hall, he bowed again and opened the door.

"Enjoy your suppers!"

They walked in and Snape stopped in his steps. He closed his eyes to take in the sweet smells of the Great Hall. By the time he opened his eyes, Hermione was halfway to the front table where the teachers and the Headmistress sat.

Everyone was talking but as they started to notice his and Hermione's presents, all of their attention was focused on them.

"Severus, your usual seat," Professor McGonagall pointed to her left, and sure enough, two seats from hers, was his. "Miss. Granger, and yours," she added and pointed to her right and two seats from hers, was Hermione's. She noticed beside her seat to her right was an empty one. _"Who sits there?"_ she asked herself.

Both Snape and Hermione went to their seats. Hermione risked a glance at Snape hoping he would glance at her too and assure her that everything was alright; that he was just four seats away from her. Nothing came from him. Disappointed, she went to her seat and forced a smile as everyone called her name.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts Miss. Granger,"

"It is a pleasure to have such an intelligent and beautiful young lady back at Hogwarts,"

"Yes, it is a pleasure to have you back Miss. Granger,"

Hermione smiled and blushed, "Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here too! Especially alongside Professor Snape," she replied.

Just when Snape put his glass to his lips, he heard his name. He quirked an eyebrow and put his glass down gently. All eyes were on him.

He looked around. What was he supposed to say? _"Hi, it's a pleasure to see you all again?" "Hope we have a great school year?" _umm…no not really. That wasn't him. Before he could open his mouth to say something though, Professor McGonagall had started her mini speech.

"Staff, as you know, this is our usual staff dinner before the students come back from their holidays. As you also know…"

Professor McGonagall looked sideways and saw that the Great Hall doors were being opened. She stopped and everyone else looked towards the doors. Standing in front of the doors was Draco Malfoy in his brilliant dark green robes.

"Ah, Professor Malfoy! I'm so glad you could finally join us," Professor McGonagall called.

"I'm sorry Headmistress. There were some complications with the owl I had sent to bring my mother money," he replied.

"Oh dear; everything's all sorted out now I presume?" the Headmistress asked.

"Yes Headmistress, everything is all sorted out," Draco said as he settled in his seat.

Hermione now knew the "mystery person" that was to be sitting next to her. It was Professor Malfoy; Draco. She smiled at him and whispered a 'Hello'. He smiled back and nodded in return while Professor McGonagall continued her speech.

"As I was saying, as you also know, Professor Horace Slughorn has spoken to me and has told me that he is not capable of teaching any longer due to old age and a few, shall we say, maladies due to his health," Snape knew she was talking about his oversized belly. He never really liked Horace.

"Professor Slughorn was taking up the posts; Potions Professor, and Head of the House of Slytherin, so as to replace him, I have invited Professor Severus Snape here to take up his-meaning his own- post.

"Severus has so kindly agreed to taking up the posts, as you can see here, and he has also brought an apprentice and assistant; Miss. Hermione Granger. I hope all of you treat him with the respect he deserves. His past has, clouded our eyes; but we all know he did not," she paused as it was extremely hard for her to say what she was about to say. She cared for Dumbledore more than she cared for herself. "do the things he did the night of the attack. I trusted him, and I still do and if Dumbledore were here, he wouldn't want any of us disrespecting him either," she concluded as if mentioning Dumbledore's name would strengthen her speech.

"Professor Malfoy was the one also teaching Potions and Professor Smith was teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, now though, since Severus is replacing Horace, Draco will be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts and Professor Smith will be teaching Transfigurations,"

Everyone was quiet and looked at each other, occasionally glancing over at Snape whom was quite enjoying himself. In a few minutes though, Draco spoke up, "Welcome back Severus,"

Snape glanced over and answered, "Thank you. It's nice to be back,"

After a few more greetings and thank yous, their dinner started. There was a new professor sitting beside him and she was quite young. She had straight blonde hair which was tied up into a neat, clean ponytail. Her eyes were blue and her face was a little tanned. She had a perfect figure and was quite tall, but of course, not as tall as he was. She was about 3 or 4 inches shorter than him but was beautiful.

He looked over to the other Professors and saw that they were all in conversation, even Hermione. She was smiling, and laughing as she was talking to Draco. _"She looks so beautiful when she laughs,"_ he thought and he couldn't help but feel a little jealous that she was talking and laughing with Draco and not him. He screwed his eyes in anger and turned to face the beautiful Professor next to him.

"Finished poking at your dinner?" he asked when he noticed her poking at her food grudgingly. Startled, she turned to face him and she answered. Surprisingly, her voice was serene and soft.

"I'm sorry, it's just, this year's my first year teaching this subject and I'm nervous," she explained.

He quirked his eyebrow and asked, "Oh? And what will you be teaching?" he tried to make it sound as if he was interested in every single bit of every single thing she was talking about, but in truth, all he wanted was for Hermione to notice him carrying a decent conversation and it wasn't with her. _"Maybe she'll get a little jealous too,"_ he thought to himself and he smirked at the thought of it.

"I'll be teaching Transfiguration since Professor McGonagall is now Headmistress," she replied. _"So she was Professor Smith,"_ he thought.

After finishing dessert and talking for a few more minutes, everyone decided to retire to their rooms as students would be coming back from the holidays the next day. Just to make things a little more noticeable, as Snape saw Hermione passing by him, he offered to escort Professor Smith to her room- he learned that her name was Juliet Smith while talking to her- and he made it loud enough for Hermione to hear. In his satisfaction, she did glance at him and had a confused and curious look on her face and it looked as if she was a little hurt. Secretly, he smiled to himself.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Teasing**

It was an hour and a half before Hermione had finally heard Snape return to his quarters. She was pacing in her room and thinking to herself when she finally heard Snape open the door and close it. _"What on earth was that about? I know he purposely said that he will escort Professor Smith to her room when I was within ear range, but why?" "Ugh. Hermione, you're thinking too much. It might not even have to do with anything. He probably just wanted to get to know the new Professor," "But honestly 'Mione, since when had he ever acknowledged other Professors?" "She is pretty though. I wouldn't doubt that even he thought so," _at the thought of the fact that Snape might admire someone else than her, angered her.

"That's it!" she exclaimed and she strode over to the door that was linked to his room and uttered the password. When the door opened, she strode in and exclaimed, "What took you so long?"

Calmly, Snape turned his head while quirking an eyebrow.

"Why would you care?" he asked. "_She's jealous, I know she is."_ He smirked.

"WHY? WHY WOULD I CARE?" she yelled, "OF COURSE I CARE!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE…to be…"but she trailed off. There was a thick cloud of awkward silence before Snape turned around fully.

"Yes? Carry on," he drawled.

"Of, of course I care. I-I just thought something happened to you, that's all," she lied, sounding as if she didn't care at all.

"Oh, I see. I didn't realize you would be so worried about me. I'll take that into consideration the next time I'm offered to stay…" but he too stopped, but just to tease her. Hermione swung her head to his direction.

"Stay? What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing, it's just, when I escorted Professor Smith back to her quarters, she just offered if I would like to stay a while just to, oh I don't know, talk about things, drink some tea, get to know each other more. That's all. Nothing _hugely_ wrong," he answered mockingly.

Hermione looked as if she was going to retaliate. Maybe she was much too fumed for words to come out of her mouth for she opened and closed it about five times. Snape seemed to notice it and his smirk grew into a mocking smile. As Hermione's face turned beet red, Snape couldn't contain himself any longer. He threw himself at her and kissed her full on her lips.

It wasn't as rough as she thought it would be, it was full with meaning and passion and she responded immediately. He inched closer to her while still locking his lips to hers. His lips parted and he teased her lips with his tongue, tempting her to open them, but she played along. She kept her lips together and even though it was hard, she refused not to open.

Giving up, Snape took her lips off hers. He leaned over to her ear and whispered seductively, "I never did anything with her. I just wanted to see how you would react," he explained softly. "My lips are only for yours," he finished. Hermione shuttered as she heard the last sentence. She was aroused and Snape knew it. As she was thinking about what he said, he started planting small soft kisses behind her ear and tickled her earlobe with his tongue.

She opened her lips to let a soft but aroused moan escape from her and that encouraged Snape. He went lower with his mouth, tracing her cheekbone with his lips and Hermione closed her eyes. _"God this feels so good," _she thought. As if Snape knew what she was thinking, he moved to her neck while his hands moved along her fine figure. After caressing every single inch of skin on her neck and face, he stopped.

Before she opened her eyes to realize that he had stopped, he slid his hand underneath her robes. She gasped, "Severus," she whispered. He gently placed his index finger on her wet core and slowly moved it down. As he moved his finger down, Hermione responded by opening her thighs a little.

When he reached the end of her core, he took her waists and gently moved her to the edge of his four post bed. She sat down and he moved on top of her while they slowly descended down, gently, and lay down on the bed; Severus was supporting her head. He used his right hand to massage her inner thighs, occasionally touching her core while her underpants were still on, and each time he touched her, she gasped. While her right hand was working, his left wasn't left hanging. He undid her robes, and later her shirt so that all that was left was her bra and her thong.

He admired her and took in her beautiful face and the changing expressions on it as she grew more and more aroused. She was wet but he still teased her until she couldn't take it anymore. She caught his hand just when he left her private and this time, it was his turn to gasp.

"Stop that already," she demanded. He smirked and replied,

"As you wish," right after he said that, he slipped his middle and index finger into her thong and they touched her clit. She gasped, "Oh Severus!" he looked at her one more time before lowering his lips to her upper chest and he started planting soft kisses but occasionally, at random times, he sucked on her and gave her a hikkie.

Getting more and more aroused, she tangled and intertwined her fingers in his hair and held his head to her body physically, emotionally and verbally telling him she wanted more.

Even though his lips were giving her soft pleasures, his hand and fingers moved rapidly. His lips were now on her lower abdomen just above her hips and now she was starting to writhe with excitement, longing and pleasure. The sensation she was feeling was nothing she had felt before. She felt a burning longing and sensation where her core was. A part of her wanted to stop because it was just too much, but the better part of her told him to keep going.

"Severus, oh Severus, please," she screamed.

Taking that as encouragement and hearing her scream his name, his bulge already grew to it's fullest and it was hurting him because his pants were still on. With difficulty though, he forced himself not to do anything rational. It seemed selfish of him, but he didn't want to ruin her yet. _"Not now. There will be a better time," _he kept telling himself.

He knew she was almost at her peak, and he couldn't wait and withheld any longer. _"I want to hear her scream for pleasure,"_ he told himself.

Using his thumb to rub and stroke on her clit while using the rest of his fingers to stroke the rest of her core, he got her to her peak.

"Mmm…Severus…" and seconds later she screamed his name.

When they finished their love making, they were panting.

"I've never felt anything so, so," she couldn't even describe her pleasure and she didn't have to. Snape understood what she was talking about and nodded.

He moved next to her and she turned on her side to face him.

"Don't leave me. Let me stay here tonight," she begged. He didn't say anything but just moved his arms and pulled her close. That was enough for her. All she needed was to know he wanted her, even if it was just for that night.


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N.: hey everyone!! i am SOOOO sorry for not posting and updating for such a LONG time...you know...exams and school and Christnas and such...) i hope all of your Christmases and holidays were well and enjoyabe, well...just to give you an appetizer, here's chapter 20..) i hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 20**

**The Beginnings of Jealousy**

Children were coming back now on the snowy January morning. You could hear them laughing and catching up on each other's adventures they had had during the holidays. They were in the Great Hall, their dormitories, the halls, some even, in the library. _"Bless their souls,"_ Hermione thought. With her eyes still closed and laying on Snape's bed, she smiled at the thought of being able to stay at Hogwarts where she was always wanted and always loved. When she turned around to place her arm on Snape though, she found all she felt were the cold bed sheets beside her. Still closing her eyes, she felt around the bed to see if she could find him, but he wasn't there. Startled and scared, she looked around to see where he was but he was no where to be found.

Hermione turned around and what caught her eye was Snape's desk. A note was left on it. Reluctantly, she put on her robes and strutted over to the desk. The note read,

_Hermione,_

_Good morning. I have gone to the Quidditch Grounds if you want to find me. I have also made sure they saved you some breakfast._

_Severus._

"_Well at least he said 'Good morning'."_ She thought. She gave a heavy sigh and started to get dressed and freshen up. When she was done, she looked at the time. It read: 11:35 a.m. _"Great,"_ she thought, _"breakfast is over. Thank God Severus saved me something to eat,"_ Again, she sighed and made sure she had her robes and her wand with her before she made her way to the Great Hall.

While making her way there, she noticed a lot of students staring at her and whispering, "Isn't that Hermione Granger? She was part of the trio. She helped Harry Potter save our lives! She's Harry Potter's friend!" Hermione was actually quite flattered that they knew her but ignored this. She went straight to the Great Hall-as her stomach couldn't help but lead her there.

When she arrived, she saw that Draco too was sitting there eating the remains of his breakfast, and then, to her surprise Hagrid was there too! She beamed and rushed towards him.

"Hagrid!" she called.

He looked up and smiled, "Oi Hermione! Took ya' long enough!" but drew her into a huge hug.

"I heard rumours sayin' you'd be 'ere. Don't know if it be true though, thought they're jus' pullin' my leg," Hermione smiled and replied, "Nope, I'm here. I'm here to help Professor Snape teach,"

Just then, she felt a tap on her shoulder and looked over to see that Draco was there smiling down on her. He didn't look like that before when they were in school. He was much more gentle and serene, a lot more like a gentleman now.

"Sorry about that Hagrid. I just miss my best friend," Draco said.

"No problem Professor Malfoy. I'll leave you to at it then, best be gone. I'm needin' to tend to Buckbe- I mean, our little friend," Hagrid replied and winked to Hermione. She nodded and gave him a last hug. Turning to Draco, she smiled and motioned for him to sit next to her while she ate her brunch.

"I missed you," Draco started as she ate her first bite of scrambled eggs. "I know we just saw each other, but I mean, I missed you when we didn't have any means of contact with each other,"

After gulping down some pumpkin juice she replied, "I missed you too Draco! Or, shall I say, Professor Malfoy," he smirked.

They talked until she finished her meal and flushed it with some pumpkin juice and then, Hermione brought up the subject of wanting to see Severus out on the Quidditch field.

"I was thinking of meeting Severus out on the Quidditch field. He left me a note saying he'd be there, and knowing him, and knowing how cold it is outside, he probably didn't bring his scarf and gloves,"

Draco smiled, "You've gotten to care about him, a lot," he added. Hermione blushed.

"Well, being stuck with a hard headed klutz, you tend to act more motherly-like," she replied.

"Are you sure it's not something more?" Draco asked.

She barely met his eye when she replied hesitantly, "N-no, of course not,"

They made their way to the dungeons and Hermione told him to wait outside while she bundled up and retrieved Snape's scarf and gloves. When Draco asked how she would be able to get Snape's possessions, she merely answered with an "I have my ways," and disappeared into her room. A few minutes later, she came out with earmuffs, gloves, and a scarf and held Severus' scarf and gloves in her hands.

"I told you he didn't bother to where these," she said, "Well at least his scarf is green and grey. At least it's something apart from black all the time," she added. Draco laughed.

Hermione and Draco walked side by side towards the Quidditch grounds and was greeted with many smiles and 'Hello's' from students who have came back and was making the most of their last day of their holidays. They laughed and as they got closer to the Quidditch grounds, they saw Professor Snape on his broom and he was circling the stadium. His face was filled with concentration and intensity as he came 'round the far corner and faced them. When he saw Draco and Hermione though, his expression changed into surprise and shock and he slowed his pace dramatically. She waved at him and he gave a small smile but quickly after that, he saw her playfully hitting Draco's arm and they laughed.

Annoyed, he landed and braced himself as he jogged a few steps before slowing himself to a quick walk after he just landed. He stopped about 3 steps in front of them and greeted them, "Miss. Granger, Draco,"

After a few giggles, they recollected their composure. "Hello Severus!" Hermione greeted, "Please, call me Hermione Severus. You know I told you to call me that a long time ago,"

"Of course," was all he replied with.

"Severus, never knew you could fly," Draco said.

"Draco, you don't know many things about me," he said mysteriously and menacingly.

There was a thick sense of anger around them as they stood there as silent as a cheetah eyeing its prey, but as quickly as it came, it went when suddenly, Severus changed his tone of voice.

"I see you found the note I wrote for you Hermione," he said almost as if nothing had happened.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I found it when I was looking for you,"

"You were looking for me?" Snape asked, shocked.

"Of course. You were gone when I opened my eyes and I was, well, well I was scared and worried that something might've happened to you," she replied quite rapidly as if she had no more time to finish her sentence unless she quickened her speech.

"I brought these for you," she quickly said after that and held out his scarf and gloves. "You're going to catch a cold if you don't take care of yourself,"

"I never wore them and I've never caught a cold," he replied but took them anyway. "Thank you,"

"I can tell you haven't. They still look so brand new. Never say never. You could catch a cold one of these days, and no one will feel sorry for you. Put them on Severus,"

He quirked an eyebrow, "Yes mother," he replied with a smirk and he put them on. "I'm sure you would tend to me when I need you though," he added and smiled when he saw her blush. Hermione gave a grunt and walked closer to him to fix his scarf as the sides were lopsided and she was quite a neat freak. When she touched him, his hands twitched and Draco saw that quite clearly but he didn't say anything.

"There," and she stood back to take in her creation. "You never told me you knew how to fly," she said.

"I never told you many things and it seems that you have carried on with your life just the same," Snape answered.

"You don't know how many nights I suffer because of you," she mumbled.

"Hmm?" Snape asked.

"N-nothing. Come on, let's get in, I'm still starving even though you so graciously saved me some scraps of breakfast," she smiled.

"It's funny how you mention scraps because they were actually scraps from breakfast. They were scraps from my breakfast," he playfully replied and Hermione's smile grew as she teasingly hit his arm like she did to Draco. _"Except,"_ Draco thought, _"I think this playful hit towards Snape meant more than the hit she gave me,"_ and they all made their way to the Great Hall.

* * *

All the students were sitting at there designated tables in the Great Hall and were laughing and talking amongst themselves as they waited for their dinner to start; Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs at their tables, and Gryffidors and Slytherins at theirs.

One by one they silenced themselves as they noticed that their Headmistress, Professor McGonagall had stood up and was waiting for them to be silent. When the last two boys had finally decided to stop talking, she started,

"Welcome back students. I hope that your holidays were restful and gave you the energy you need to continue your studies as thoroughly and productively as you can," she paused and looked at the eager and hungry faces looking up at her and remembered what Albus had done when he was Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"But there will be more time to explain everything as I know most, if not all of you have noticed some changes in our staff. Now, with no further ado, let us start!" and at once, when she clapped her hands, marvellous heaps of food appeared on the table and everyone started tucking in.

Hermione stared at the two boys who happened to remind her of two certain boys who happened to be twins by the name of Fred and George. Draco noticed her staring and nudged her arm.

"Hmm?" Hermione asked as she looked at Draco.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh nothing. I was just looking at those two boys, the ones who took forever to stop talking. They reminded me of Fred and George,"

He smiled, "Yes. Actually, they are much like them too! Both are troublemakers and jokers," he sighed, "they get on my nerves,"

She laughed and started to eat. All the while, Snape was watching out of the corner of his eye and when Professor Smith was trying to make polite conversation with him, he just nodded and agreed. He didn't even notice her asking him to go to her quarters on the Friday after dinner. He was so envious of Draco but he didn't even know why. _"Why though? Why am I so jealous of Draco for? There's nothing to be jealous of,"_ he thought as he slowly chewed on whatever it was he was eating. It was just an automatic reaction for him nowadays. If saw food, he ate it. He didn't even think about what he was eating because he was so focused and concentrated on one person, or rather, two; Draco and Hermione.

Minutes later, after everyone finished their dessert, the Headmistress stood up.

"Now, back to business now that I know everyone is filled with this scrumptious meal. As I have said, you might've noticed some alterations in our staff. As we all know, Professor Slughorn had resigned his post as Professor for Potions, Potions Master, and Head of House of Slytherin. It was quite sudden and I when I heard this I had to franticly look for someone I thought was suitable, and I think I have found the right person," she looked over at Snape and continued, "Students, staff, please welcome Professor Snape back to our school," everyone was silent except for some Slytherins, Draco, Hermione, Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, and of course, Mr. Filch. As they clapped, people gradually joined in.

"Professor Snape will be taking up Professor Slughorn's posts and so Professor Malfoy will be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts and Professor Smith will be teaching Transfiguration. I know it's very confusing, but please, bear with us,"

Whispers started breaking out amongst the students as they had just received the news. Snape was going to be their teacher. The Headmistress knew that this bit of news was going to be shock for them so she gave them a few minutes to discuss this matter with their peers before she silenced them again.

The Headmistress explained the rest of the changes such as Miss. Hermione Granger being an assistant and apprentice for Snape and that she would be teaching the students in years 1, 3 and 4, and Snape would be teaching years 2, 5, 6 and 7. While all this was happening, Snape had silently snuck out of the Great Hall and had gone to his quarters without being noticed.

When he arrived down in the dungeons and uttered his password, he went in and ignited his candles. He sat at his office desk and was absentmindedly biting his thumb nail. He was deep in thought and was trying to sort them out. He had come to conclusion that he had developed feelings for Miss. Hermione Granger. All this time he was in a state of denial. He always had an urge for her even if she was right there in front of him. He always needed her when she wasn't there just so that he knows that all of this-everything he had been through these past few months wasn't a dream.

Yet, he knew he couldn't have her. He knew he shouldn't have her and that she deserved much more than him, but there was this one part that he couldn't understand. There were times that he wanted her so badly that he would wake up with an erection. And then, there were times where he couldn't help himself and he just had to have her. In total, there were only two times where he actually did have her and this was the part he didn't understand.

Both times they shared intimate moments he had expected her to back off and even hate him for thinking such thoughts-especially the first time, but she didn't. In fact, she had responded with just as much passion as he did. _"She couldn't possibly have feelings for me,"_ he thought.

Then there was the little flame inside the pit of his stomach whenever he saw Draco with Hermione and it grew each time. He was jealous. It was a fact, and no matter how hard he tried, he hated Draco that much more.

"_That's it,"_ he thought, _"I'm going to have to exclude her from my life,"_ though it pained him to think this, he vowed he would show no feelings for her. Their relationship would and will be strictly professional. If he didn't need her for anything important, he would completely act as if she wasn't there. It was best for her, and it was best for him. Especially if the students and staff find out that he had feelings for her, then, it would be a catastrophe.

After minutes from his conclusion in silence, he stood up, took a shower and went to bed. Before he closed his eyes, he said his vow to himself once more.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Everyone, here's the Main Course...lol..enjoy.**

**heartaspr.**

**Chapter 21**

**Cold Teasing**

When Snape woke up this morning it was as if he was back to his normal routine. It wasn't exactly a healthy one, but he was back to it. It was like all those nights he spent sleeping as if he had no care in the world were gone. He woke up at 4:30 a.m. and cursed himself for not being able to sleep any longer. He lay in bed and remembered what he had vowed last night before he drifted to what seemed of 10 minutes of sleep and closed his eyes in pain. For once in his life after so many years, he felt like crying because he loved someone, but he held the tears back. Snape was not going to cry, not over some girl.

He opened his eyes, got up, grabbed his robe and wand and went to the washroom. After a few minutes of freshening up and staring at himself in the mirror, he got out with his robe on and his usual uniform he wore to teach and put his wand in his pocket. He stepped out of his room and into the dark and dreary halls of the dungeons.

Walking as if he was in a trance, he traced his steps from the very first time he walked in this enchanted castle. It was with Dumbledore and Dumbledore was the one who led him to his room.

"_This is your quarters Severus," Dumbledore explained as they walked in the dungeons, "And this is your classroom. You'll be teaching Potions here," _

_Dumbledore walked in and Snape followed suit. He saw that it was quite big. Enough to move around and fit many cauldrons._

"_As you can see, Mr. Filch has set the room up to fit your taste. He has also made it so that students will be able to work in partners, as you have so rightly suggested,"_

Then he heard his name and he came back to reality.

"Severus," the voice called.

He turned on his heel and saw that it was the person he dreaded seeing at the moment.

"Draco," he replied as if he didn't care. He took a step forward hinting he wanted to leave but Draco stopped him.

"How are you Severus? You woke up quite early,"

Quirking an eyebrow and looking down his hooked nose, he replied, "I can say the same to you. Why are you up so early?"

"I-I couldn't sleep," Draco replied truthfully.

Snape snorted, "That makes both of us,"

"You couldn't sleep either?" Draco asked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Is that so surprising to you?" Snape asked.

"No, it's just, what a coincidence. The day you can't sleep, I can't either,"

Again, Snape snorted and instead of replying, he went straight to the stairs that lead him to the Great Hall with Draco following suit.

* * *

At 5:30, Hermione woke up. It was quite awkward; she didn't see Snape last night after dinner and was quite worried for him. He didn't look too well when Professor McGonagall was making her speech. She lay on her bed thinking for a while but realized that if she didn't get a move on, she would miss part of breakfast and she'd be late for her first class.

So she got dressed into her teaching robes that Professor McGonagall so graciously gave to her, and went out. She walked into the Great Hall and saw that students and teachers were already eating their breakfast. She looked along the staff table and sure enough, she saw Severus taking a bite of his toast and marmalade and reading the Daily Prophet. She smiled and walked over to her seat next to Draco.

When Draco looked up to see that Hermione was walking towards her seat, he smiled at how beautiful she looked. When Snape looked up and saw her walking towards her seat, he scrunched his nose in dismay and put down his half eaten toast, rolled up his Daily Prophet and walked out of the Great Hall. Hermione and Draco were in the middle of their conversation when she looked and saw Severus walking briskly towards the doors of the Great Hall.

Her smile faded as she saw him leave and not say a word to her but continued her conversation with half a heart.

"Oh Draco, umm, look at the time! I should be getting ready for my first class. I'll talk to you later alright?" she said after a few more exchange of words they had.

Startled since he was in the middle of speech, he just stared at her and nodded.

"Alright, I'll see you later then!" Hermione said and she got up and fast-walked out of the Great Hall.

Hermione walked the cold halls of the dungeons and finally reached the Potions classroom and saw that Snape was already in there setting up the cauldrons. He didn't even notice her walk in until she tapped his shoulder.

He whipped his head around and saw that it was Hermione and relaxed a little until he remembered his vow and brought his cold expressions onto his face again.

"Severus!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Miss. Granger, I think it would be most appropriate of you to call me less informally now that we are back at Hogwarts," Snape said lifelessly.

Taken aback, Hermione's expression changed and she stepped back.

"Then what would you like me to call you?" she whispered.

Going back to fixing the cauldrons, he replied with his back facing her, "Professor Snape, Sir, or Master. That would be most desired," he answered.

"Master?" she asked. "Since when have you ever wanted me to call you Master? Sir is understandable but Master?"

"Well I will be your master as you are now my apprentice, but sir is fine,"

He was done setting up the last of the cauldrons and now had no choice but to face Hermione.

"I think you should get ready for your class. I can hear them coming," he said. "I'll be watching you, but I'll be sitting in the corner and I'll be getting up once and while to see if your students are doing things right,"

Hermione just nodded. Minutes later her first year class was lining up outside the classroom and so she opened the doors of the dungeons and told them to come in with a smile.

As her students passed the dark figure of Professor Snape in the corners, they found seats with their friends. There was one who was the "odd" one out and she sat all by herself. She had glasses and straight dirty blonde hair. She looked fine, but immediately, after Hermione had walked passed her to the front of the class, she fumbled with her books and they fell smack down onto the floor.

Embarrassed, the girl got up and picked up her papers and books.

"S-sorry Professor Granger," she apologized.

While her classmates snickered to themselves, Hermione walked to where the girl sat and bent down to help her pick up the rest of her papers.

"It's quite alright," Hermione replied and smiled. When they were done, Hermione walked up to the front of the class again. Waiting for the class to settle down, she stood there with the posture of an experienced teacher and it took the class less then two seconds to settle down.

"Thank you," Hermione said.

"I'm Professor Granger. You will call me nothing but Professor Granger, and yes, I can be a strict teacher or I can be a very nice one. I expect all of you to do well in my class and all of your homework and class work to be done with your fullest potential and on time. I cannot stress that enough. In my class, you will strive for the best, if you have any trouble, do not hesitate to ask for me, even if it's after class," looking upon their faces she took off her stern look and replaced it with a soft serene smile. Almost at once, all the students relaxed a little and sat back in their seats.

"Ok," she said, "I would like to ask all of you to take out your textbooks and turn to page 21,"

Whilst everyone took out their books and turned to the page, Hermione walked over to the board and raised her wand. She wrote a few notes down on the potion they were about to make and then turned around to address the class again.

"In potions, you will need your fullest concentration. One folly mistake and the whole thing can be ruined. I'm not going to lie. For those of you who don't take instructions easily, this is going to be hard for you. For those of you who do, Potion making will require your listening and reading skills, but that goes for everyone.

"As you can see, there's a cauldron in front of you just in case you don't have your own. If you do, please put the cauldron to the cabinet in front of the class and use your own," Everyone got out of their seats and brought the cauldron in front of them back to the cabinet. They went back to their seats and placed their own on the table.

"Good," Hermione said as the last had come and placed their cauldrons down. "Okay. As you can see in front of you in your textbooks, you have the instructions to make a _Boil Cure Potion_. This is quite a simple enough potion to make. Would someone care to read the ingredients you would need for this potion?"

Immediately the girl who dropped her books shot up her hand.

"Yes," Hermione hesitated for she didn't know her name.

"Isabella Rowinks," the girl answered.

"Miss. Rowinks, would you care to read the ingredients for the class?"

"I'd be delighted to Professor! It says here that the ingredients needed for the potions are:_ Dried nettles, Crushed snake fangs, Stewed horned slugs, and Porcupine quills_,"

"Ew!" a boy named Anthony yelled.

Hermione walked over to him and asked, "Your name?"

"Anthony McGregor," the student replied.

In the corner of the class, Snape sat closer to the edge of the chair. _"This will be interesting,"_ he thought.

"Would you care to tell the class what you thought was so horribly disgusting, Mr. McGregor?"

"We have to _touch_ these ingredients?" the boy asked.

Hermione thought for a while and stared at the boy. Then she smiled, "No, _you _don't have to touch all of these ingredients. Only if you want a passing grade in my class,"

She turned around and sat on her desk.

"I want you to read the instructions through three times before you begin,"

The class, grudgingly did as they were told. Some read faster than others and within 15 minutes, they started their potion. Snape, deciding it would the right time, stood up from his seat and walked around the class. Some students were nervous and dropped their ingredients when he passed by. Others acted as if he wasn't there and continued with their work. When he walked passed Anthony he lingered there as if he was a bat. Anthony stumbled with his _Crushed Snake Fangs_ and the whole thing fell into the cauldron. His cauldron started bubbling profusely, it poured out of the cauldron and started to spread along the desk and his partner sitting beside him yelped in pain.

Hermione ran towards them and stopped the potion before it spread any further. Anthony's partner that yelped in pain lay on the floor clutching his right arm. It was bleeding onto the floor and Hermione rushed him into the hospital wing.

"Class dismissed," she said, "And _Professor _Snape, I would like to have a word with you when I return," she said angrily.

He smirked, "As you wish, _Professor _Granger," he replied.

After a few minutes, Hermione returned and marched straight up to Snape whom was sitting on a desk facing the door and he smiled.

"WHAT are you smiling at? Hmm? WHAT could be so amusing to you that you are smiling?" she barked.

"You really want to know?" he asked still smiling.

"YES OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW! I ASKED THE QUESTION IN THE FIRST PLACE DIDN'T I?"

"You know," he replied calmly, "You do look rather pretty when you're angry," he jested.

"UGHH! SNAPE, TELL ME NOW! STOP JOKING AROUND! I AM IN NO MOOD TO BE JOKING WITH YOU!"

"And you know, the way your face turns so red-" but she cut him off.

"SNAPE," Hermione yelled.

Smiling even more he continued, "It's not very polite to interrupt _Professor_ Granger. Anyway, as I was saying, the way your face turns red, it makes my heart turn in summersaults," he joked.

"SNAPE, IF YOU DON'T ANSWER MY QUESTION RIGHT NOW I'LL HIT YOU!" Hermione threatened.

Snape quirked his eyebrow and smiled, "Oh? I'd like to see you try,"

"I WILL!"

"I was smiling because of the way you get so angry at me and I didn't even do a thing," he said.

"You, you didn't do a thing? YOU DIDN'T DO A THING? YES YOU DID! YOU DID EVERYTHING! YOU RUINED MY FIRST CLASS!"

He shook his head and smiled again, "Oh no. On the contrary, I didn't do anything. I told you I'd be walking around the class to see if they were doing the right thing, and I did. So I didn't do anything wrong," he replied.

"Yes, YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO WALK AROUND, BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BREATHE DOWN MY STUDENT'S NECKS AND SCARE THEM HALF TO DEATH!"

"I didn't scare them half to death, they chose to be scared of my appearance, I don't know why, and it's not my fault,"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WERE SCARED OF _YOU_? MAYBE BECAUSE A FORMER DEATH EATER, THE PERSON WHO _KILLED_ DUMBLEDORE WAS STANDING BEHIND THEIR BACKS!"

There was a long sickly pause. Snape was shocked and he was drawn aback. There were no words that were uttered from both his and her mouth. Seeing the damage that she had done, Hermione softened her eyes and stepped forward towards Snape but he stepped back and stopped her. His eyes turned cold as he peered through the angered slits.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe that's why they were so scared, but you and I both know I didn't want to become a Death Eater, you and I both know I didn't _kill_ Albus on purpose. You told me you believed me, unless of course, you were _lying_," he whispered forcefully. Giving her a last glare, he turned around and strove towards the door.

Hermione stood there and was starting to tear. She could feel her eyes drown in her tears as she heard Snape's bedroom door slam. _"Ugh! It was his fault in the first place, why does he make me feel so bad when it's his fault? Why did I say that? Hermione, for a bright person, you could be so stupid sometimes."_

It was the end of the morning and it was time for lunch. Hermione made her way to the Great Hall hoping that Severus was there and maybe, just maybe, if she was lucky, he would've already forgiven her. While she was walking, she heard many students talking about the incident in her first class and hoped to God that she would still have a job.

When she walked into the Great Hall, automatically, her eyes looked over at Snape's seat, and, to her dismay, she saw that he wasn't there. _"Maybe he's just late,"_ she reassured herself. She walked over to her seat and, of course, Draco was always there. She smiled to him and thought, _"Well, at least Draco's here,"_

"Hello Hermione," Draco greeted, "How were classes?"

"Hello Draco. Classes were, _great_," she exaggerated.

"Don't worry," he chuckled, "This kind of stuff always happens. It's not your fault. Remember our first year? We had potions together and Longbottom nearly blew up the whole class,"

"He didn't nearly _blow up_ the whole class. It wasn't his fault either," Hermione replied.

"Yes, but Severus got so angry,"

"I know. I wanted to smack him. It wasn't Neville's fault,"

They started eating their Kidney and Beef Pie, and Draco said,

"Where's Severus? He's not eating lunch,"

Hermione whipped her head around and looked at Severus' supposed spot. Sure enough, it was empty and Professor Smith seemed to have notice them looking so she looked at them and shrugged in return.

Hermione turned her head and answered Draco,

"I don't know Draco, but I hope he's alright,"

With half a heart, Hermione finished her lunch and excused herself from the table. Draco looked concerned for her, but she didn't notice. He asked if she would like any help from him for anything and she just shook her head and walked out of the doors.

* * *

Now, it was Hermione's turn to watch Snape teach. When it was time for his first class, he was about two minutes late and when he came in; he flung open the door and strode straight towards the front of the classroom. Hermione jumped and immediately, the students fell silent.

He spun around so unexpectedly and faced the class.

"I'm expecting all of you to do extremely well in this class," it didn't really sound as if he was asking them, but rather demanding them. "I do _not_ want to waste _my_ time and effort teaching you bunch of dunderheads that obviously don't care about whether or not you pass. If you truly love the art of potion making and you truly want to have an occupation that needs potion making, I suggest you, WAKE UP MR. GREEVELY!"

Maxwell Greevely shot his head up and looked around. He saw that everyone was staring at him and Professor Snape was glaring at him.

"Mr. Greevely," Snape said as he walked closer to his desk. "You are in year…?"

"Five sir," he replied.

"Five. You're in year Five. I do believe, if I'm not mistaken, that in Year Five, you have your OWLs?"

"Y-yes sir," he answered.

Snape nodded, "Yes, and I do believe, again, if I'm not mistaken, that you told Professor McGonagall and Professor Smith-head of Gryffindor House-that you would like to be an Auror when you've finished school?"

"Y-Yes Professor," he agreed.

"I see. Do you know that one of the expectations in becoming an Auror is being able to make potions of any kind?"

"Y-yes I do sir,"

"And another expectation in becoming an Auror is the ability to PAY ATTENTION!?"

Shocked at the sudden change of voice, Maxwell stared at Snape. Snape crinkled his nose and strode towards the front of the class.

"I will tell you, that in order to pass your OWLs and be able to come back to my class the next year, all of you will have to get and "E" or above. Do you understand Mr. Greevely?"

"Yes sir,"

"Good. Now turn to page 143 in your textbooks,"

* * *

Dinner was horrible for Hermione as well. Snape, again, wasn't at the table and she was starting to get worried. Tomorrow was Friday and so she decided that after dinner, she would go to his room and apologize and hopefully, he would be able to forgive him.

When finished her dinner, she walked to her Quarters and thanked God it was the end of the day. It was just her first day teaching and already it was so tiring for her. She immediately took a shower and lay on her bed. She rearranged her little apology she was going to say to Severus but she also made sure that she would make it clear that she wouldn't want this incident to happen again.

Smiling, she closed her eyes and fell asleep, waiting for the tomorrow to come.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**a/n.** i know..i know...and i'm REALLY SORRY!...really...but with exams and projects etc...i was really busy. sorry. and i had performance after performance after performance. but i promise you, since it's summer, i'll grace you with more (:

- heartaspr.

**Friday's Faults**

"Turn to Chapter 3 in your textbooks," Hermione instructed while smiling. _"This is going to be a very good day,"_ she thought as she remembered her apology.

Snape was sitting at his corner again and instead of listening to every word Hermione said with patience, he acted as if he really didn't want to be there. This time, he didn't get up from his chair, and in fact, he kept waiting for class to end. It was the class before lunch and he would be able to have a break from everything. Just then, when he was thinking of how he should spend his lunch time someone knocked on his classroom door.

He snapped his head towards the door, narrowed his eyes and walked over to it. To his surprise, it was Professor Smith. She had her hair pinned up into a bun and a mysterious smile formed on her lips. Hermione glanced over to the door to see who it was. She managed to have sneak peak of a lady's blonde hair; knowing full well of whom this person was before Snape had stepped out of the door and closed the door behind his back.

Hermione couldn't help but feel a little down hearted and maybe even, perhaps, a little jealous. She continued on with her lesson half-heartedly and strained her ear for any form of laughter or words exchanged by the two behind the door. She stayed at the back of the classroom close to the door; picking up snippets of words.

"Hello Professor, how may I help you?" Snape asked.

"Hi Severus," Professor Smith replied.

"With all do respect Professor, I wish that – during school hours of course – you would call me Professor Snape,"

"Oh, why, yes, of course," Professor Smith agreed.

There was a moment of silence before Snape asked again, "So, what can I do for you Professor?"

"Oh, yes. I just came to remind you of our little get together at my quarters after dinner tonight,"

"Your quarters?" Snape asked confused.

"Yes, you didn't forget did you? You said 'yes' to me when I asked you to come over this night after dinner. Luckily I had the heart in reminding you," and she smiled ever so sweetly.

"Tonight?" Snape asked. Clearly he couldn't recall ever saying 'yes' to her.

"Yes Professor, tonight. You promised you would,"

"Did I?" he was still shocked.

"Goodness Professor Snape! I would think you would remember. But then again, you do have a lot on your mind lately. Especially with that Professor Granger of yours,"

Screwing his face up in dismay at the sound of 'Professor Granger' he replied coldly, "Please refrain from saying her name,"

"But of course," Professor Smith answered mysteriously.

"Listen, Juliet," he whispered, "I really don't think I can…" but she cut him off.

"You aren't backing off from a promise are you Professor?"

"No, it's just…"

"Great! So I shall be expecting you at around 9:30 then?" she asked.

Snape sighed and finally, he agreed. "Alright. Should I-should I bring anything?" he asked.

"Oh," and she chuckled, "Oh no, just bring yourself," and she walked away leaving Snape standing in the dark and dreary Dungeons alone.

The class had ended and Snape realized he was still standing outside his classroom. He heard the hustle and bustle of kids packing up there things and Hermione's voice calling out to them saying that they had a 6 inch essay due the next day.

Walking into the classroom, he gave a short look at Hermione and saw that she was going to open her mouth to say something, but he left as quickly as he could for his quarters. _"I don't need her bickering about my business right now," _he thought.

Hermione scrunched her face in confusion. _"That was odd," _she thought, _"He obviously saw me and he didn't even say hello,"_

In his quarters, Snape sat in his armchair with his head supported by his hand. _"What did I get myself into?"_ he asked himself. Snape thought it was going to be easier for him to just completely push Hermione out of his life but he was wrong. He missed her, honestly, he did, but still that ignorant and foolish part of him forced him to act so cold, so distant to her.

"_You can use Professor Smith to your advantage; Hermione might get jealous,"_ his conscience told him.

That was it; he was going to do that; he was going to use Professor Smith to try and make Hermione drift away from him and he was going to do whatever it took. He gave a heavy sigh and realized that it was about time lunch was over.

Briskly walking over to his door and then swinging it open, he saw that Hermione was there and was about to knock. Looking down his hooked 

nose as if she was filthy and useless he said in a monotone and with lack of interest, "Professor," and stood there.

Seeing as Hermione didn't say anything, he pushed his way to his classroom without giving her an apology or a second look. It was painful for him to do, seeing as she did have a tray of food in her hands and was probably thinking of giving it to him since he didn't go for lunch; _"But,"_ he thought, _**"**__I have to do what I have to do," _and he gave yet another heavy sigh.

* * *

It was dinner and Snape had decided to grace everyone with his presence. As he strode into the Great Hall with his long legs and his black, billowy cape fanned out behind him, Professor Smith waved and smiled at him and seeing as Hermione was waving too, Snape took it upon himself to humiliate her.

He didn't even look at Hermione twice and walked right past her to his seat beside Professor Smith's. Sitting beside her, Snape turned his head and gave her a smile, and in return, she smiled back. Just to get on Hermione's nerves, Snape treated Professor Smith as if she was queen. He got food for her; poured Pumpkin Juice in her flask, picked up her napkin when she dropped it and even put his hand on hers when she made him laugh.

This was getting too much for Hermione, and just when she thought it couldn't get worse, she saw Professor Smith lean in and whisper in Snape's ear. He smiled and nodded in response and seconds later, both had excused themselves from the staff table and exited the Great Hall with Professor Smith in front and Snape behind her.

Being that Hermione had had enough, seconds later after the speculating exit of Professor Smith and Snape, Hermione put down her fork, stared at her food blankly and excused herself from the staff table – all the while, Professor McGonagall was eyeing both Hermione and Snape very carefully.

While walking in the halls leading to the dungeons and to her quarters, she was thinking of the smile Snape had on his face at the sight of Professor Smith, the way he was holding her hand while they talked, and was laughing at almost every single word she said. It made her sick. _"It can't be that he has feelings for her. It just doesn't make sense!"_ but when she thought about it, it did make sense. Professor Smith was pretty, sophisticated and was quite tall. She was respected and seemed to have a sense of a higher class in her by the way she walked and spoke. As she approached her door, she absent-mindedly muttered her password and entered her quarters – not caring to turn on the lights.

Thinking to herself about today's events, she decided to – in a sense – give Snape another chance. She decided that she would surprise him by waiting for him in his quarters with her apology ready and some tea for him. She stood up from her bed and checked the time; it was almost 11 o'clock, _"He'll be back soon,"_ Hermione thought to herself. Smiling, she walked over to their linked doors and whispered the password. As the door opened, she stepped in and saw that his quarters 

were just as she saw it when they arrived at Hogwarts. _"Surprisingly, he's quite clean,"_ and she gave a small, silent chuckle.

On the table next to the fireplace, she set up a small portable kettle where she brewed some tea in hopes that Snape was going to come back soon. As she sat on the armchair she decided to do some marking as she was going to wait for Snape anyway and she had nothing better to do. As she stared at her piles of 10 inch essays she had to read and mark, she sighed. _"At least it's something to do 'Mione,"_ she said to herself and picked up the first essay on the pile to begin reading.

At Professor Smith's quarters, Snape was sitting on her pink armchair reading a book while waiting for Professor Smith to step out of her bedroom. _"What is she doing?"_ Snape thought to himself. As he rested his head on his fingers, repeatedly glancing up from the book he was attempting to read to check if she was out yet, his mind couldn't stop thinking about the one person he truly wanted to see.

It was hard for him but he forced himself to keep away from her, again, keeping his pride as a front. He also came to realize that he was scared. He was scared that he wasn't enough for her and that she might leave him someday. He was also scared that he might hurt her considering his past and how he was – not to mention how he is – but she made him so happy. He was so comfortable around her and he felt he could show her how he truly was. He felt if he showed her that he wasn't the man he put out everyday; he felt if he showed her that all he really needed was someone to love him and someone to hold onto him when he needed she wouldn't laugh at him. He felt that he was able to show her his soft side – that he can cry and that he had feelings – she wouldn't shun him and forever cut him out of her life. Yet, something was confusing him. He didn't know what to do; he wanted to be with her, except he didn't. He didn't know why and that's what was making him so angry so he decided to give her and him some space to see if his feelings would change and that maybe he could forget about how he felt again.

Finally Professor Smith was out of her room. As she stepped out, Snape shot his eyes at her and was shocked. His eyes widened and he slowly placed the book he was holding on the table. His hand fell from his face slowly and he turned to look at her fully as if he was in a trance.

"Professor S-Smith," he stuttered. He didn't know what to say. She was wearing a purple silk night gown that stopped just above her knees, and a matching purple see-through robe delicately embossed with flowers covering parts of her breasts – teasing the eyes and the senses of whomever was invited to stare.

She smiled as she saw the awe in his eyes _"Lovely,"_ she thought. She came closer to him and smiled serenely before opening her mouth.

"Hello Severus," she whispered seductively, "I hope you don't mind that i'm wearing my night gown. I had to take a shower seeing as it was quite hot in the Great Hall and I decided to just change into my night gown instead of putting on my robes again," she explained. It was a little white lie. It was hot in the Great Hall but she really didn't 

need to take a shower and change into her night gown, she just, felt like it.

"It's," and Snape paused – choosing his words carefully, he regained his composure and stiffened his posture and face before he replied, "It's quite alright. I understand completely, but if I had company over, I would very seldom wear my night wear to greet them,"

Professor Smith was taken aback by Snape's quick comment and sudden change of attitude and it showed on her face, but like him, she was quick to recollect her composure and dismissed his attitude. _"Hard to get – I like it,"_ she thought and smiled slyly.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked sweetly.

Raising an eyebrow he thought, _"This girl is going to be hard to get off of me, but it may be a good thing,"_ and he accepted her offer with a curt nod.

As Professor Smith conjured a kettle on her table and settled next to, but far enough away from Snape so that he could only smell her sweet fragrances, she started some light conversation. She asked him where he's been for the past years and he replied with a _"Quite frankly, it's really none of your business as to my whereabouts,"_ then he looked at her and said that he was residing in his home for the past years but stopped it there.

She didn't know if he noticed, but with every answer he gave she moved a little closer to him on the seat they were sharing until she was close enough to be able to put her hand on his knee. By that time, the tea was done brewing and she poured some out for both him and herself.

"Be careful," she warned, "It's quite hot. I hope you like it, I do," she finished, as if it made a difference if she liked the tea or not.

Again, he raised his eyebrow and gently blew into the teacup. He made it so that he was toasting to her but really he was checking for any loose powders still on the rim of the cup and smelt to see if there was some sort of poison. Seeing as there was none, he gave a small sip and lowered his cup. Professor Smith smiled and sipped hers.

Trying her chances she started to lean in towards Snape while he was looking away and whispered something in his ear. As she pulled back, he slowly turned to look at her – his features were calm and he opened his mouth as if to say something.

Hermione sat on Snape's armchair not realizing she had drifted to sleep. Suddenly, she jerked awake as she heard the loud _"THUMP!"_ as her books and papers scattered along the floor.

Rubbing her eyes, she checked the time and saw that it was 12:30 in the morning and looking around; she too saw that Snape had not returned. She was starting to get frustrated and impatient. _"What could he possibly be doing at her quarters for this long? He's been there for two hours and he's still not back yet!"_

Hermione started pacing the living room and looked at her papers on the floor. Seeing as they were all scattered everywhere, she let out a frustrated sigh and bent down – roughly picking them up. She had them in one pile under her right arm and was about to leave his room when unexpectedly, Snape stepped into the room.

Shocked, he stood at the doorway and Hermione – fumed – stood near the shared door; both of them looking at each other - Hermione glaring at Snape, and Snape wide-eyed, staring at Hermione.

"I-I didn't expect you to be h-here," Snape muttered.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Love Hurts**

There was silence and Snape knew immediately that she had been waiting for him all this time. Hermione looked as if she was ready to burst but somehow, she managed to keep her cool. Mentally, Snape fought with himself. He wanted ever so much to just stride across the seemingly far distance that was between him and Hermione and just hold onto her, the other part of him wanted to go along with his absurd but much needed plan of not acknowledging the fact she was human and had feelings. Deciding he wouldn't want to implant false suggestions on his undying love for her, he remained put, and in fact, the only slightest movement he made was when he screwed his mouth into a disgusted snarl – perhaps suggesting she should get out soon.

"Don't you dare give me that look Snape," Hermione blurted rather coldly.

Snape quirked his eyebrow and replied, "It seems as if you have lost your sense of place _Professor _Granger. Seeing as you were a student of the Gryffindor house, fifty points from Gryffindor for a former student showing no care for her place."

With that, he strode over to his armchair and placed his black cape on it, revealing only his black buttoned shirt and his black pants.

"Where have you been?" Hermione demanded.

Not caring to even glance towards her direction he said, "I don't think it's any of your business as to my whereabouts, another 20 points from Gryffindor for ill-mannered and unseemly nosiness." At the sound of this Hermione gave out a desperate cry. It was unfair, especially because of the fact that she was supposed to be the one humiliating and not the one receiving the other end of the stick.

"Your empty threats and horrendous scowls don't scare me," she warned.

Severus gave a heavy, tired sigh, "Miss. Granger, I can stand here deducting points from Gryffindor because of a rude and obnoxious former student of the house of Gryffindor all night; believe me, I'd rather enjoy it, but I do know that my point deducting will get us nowhere. So another 10 points from Gryffindor for being rude, and now, what do you want? You have obviously waited until such an hour for a reason, how may I help you?" That was the best he could do at showing her a smidge of sympathy. He thought it was better than nothing.

Eyeing him for a moment, Hermione had almost torn down her guard as she saw the exhausted look on Snape's face, but remembering what he had done to her seemed to have only strengthened her anger. She turned on the spot to face Snape entirely as he plopped himself onto his comfortable armchair.

"Help me?" she asked, "You expect to help me?"

"Well you seem to be in a need of my presence," Snape stated rather bluntly.

"You know _Snape_," she started, and in seeing the reaction that formed on Snape's face as she so coldly and rudely said his name with no respect whatsoever, she had again, almost dropped her defenses. "I was going to wait for you to return from your little get-together at _Professor Smith's_ with a nicely brewed pot of tea and a decorated apology for my lack of sympathy and respect towards you when I had so callously blurted out your past, but, in seeing that you seemed to have enjoyed yourself rather profoundly when you shared her company, I guess I'll just save your ears the trouble of listening to my unwanted presence," she finished with a rather strong ending then – in seeing the surprised look on Snape's face and feeling a sense of satisfaction – she stormed out of his room and into hers, slamming the door behind her.

Snape stared after her in astonishment. He was taken aback, and he certainly did not expect this to be the reason for her staying up so late. He felt horrible because he gave her such attitude, but again, he reminded himself from what seemed to be the 2 millionth time to keep his cool and try to distance her from him. _"I would be of no use to her for her future,"_ he told himself.

Giving a heavy sigh, his mind couldn't help but remind him just how hard this 'ignoring and pushing away Hermione project' was – or perhaps it was his heart that was reminding him. Severus had encountered and endured a lot of painful things and situations, such as the endless accounts of Voldemort's meetings and the haunted memories of 'Crucio'. Nothing though matched the difficulties of pushing Hermione away. He honestly couldn't and didn't imagine that this would and could be so hard. _"Curse you heart for loving,"_ he thought. He admitted though that he did wish and long for someone to love him. Perhaps he thought too lightly of the fact that love could also torture him just as equal (or maybe even perhaps more than) his childhood and his past; and even Voldemort's torturing.

Having enough of his thoughts and feelings, he got up, took a quick shower and closed his eyes while he lay on his bed. He tried with all his might to sleep for he knew that if he didn't, the students and the staff at Hogwarts would have to deal with an even crabbier Professor Snape on a Saturday.

Hermione sat on the edge of her bed and balled her eyes out. _"Why is he acting so cold?"_ she asked herself. She had so many questions that seemed to be finding their way to her mind and she wanted an answer for all of them. _"This is torture,"_ she thought to herself. She didn't know how much more she could handle before she was going to go mad and insane. One moment he seemed as if she was everything in his cold and dreary world, and then he turned around and treated her as if she wasn't even worth a speck of dirt on the backside of his shoe.

Further on in the night she realized she had developed an immense adoration and longing for Snape. _"I love him,"_ she recognized and told herself. _"I love him, and I truly want him to love me,"_

"Ugh, Hermione, control yourself!" and with that, she took a quick shower and closed her eyes while she lay on her bed. She tried with all her might to sleep for she knew that if she didn't, the students and the staff at Hogwarts would have to deal with an even crabbier Professor Granger on a Saturday.


	24. Chapter 24

a.n.: here's the longer chappy i promised. i hope it satisfies all of you and i hope you forgive me. this is something a little different. i've decided to change the style of my writing a bit and make it first person instead of third. that way you can better understand the thoughts and feelings of the certain person. for now, this is severus' views. also, i have had a request from a reader that i should put in a few more meals. i hope the Turkey sandwich and garden salad works well for you. enjoy. and please, R&R.

heartaspr.

**Chapter 24**

**Severus' Thoughts**

It is early on Saturday morning when Professor McGonagall summons both Hermione and I to her quarters. Bloody hell, it's so early. I know Minerva's getting old and while you are, you tend not to need as much sleep, but goodness, she shouldn't have to impinge on those around her. We walk in utter silence (obvious that the events that happened last night still affected us) as we approach the Headmistress' quarters. Glancing only once towards Hermione, I notice that she didn't have much sleep and her eyes are puffy. Tears. She cried endlessly last night. And again, the feeling of guilt overwhelms me.

"Come in," Professor McGonagall answers as I knock on her door.

As an act of courtesy I allow Hermione to enter prior to me but I notice that Hermione is trying with all her might to ignore me. I give a heavy sigh and I greet the Headmistress.

"Headmistress," I bow. She smiles and asks me to stand up. Turning her eyes to the now extremely silent Hermione Granger she sees how she is sleep deprived and her eyes are puffy.

"Hermione," she greets with a kind smile.

"Hello Headmistress," Hermione returns. I could tell she's trying with all her might to force out a smile.

Finally being able to turn her head away from the disgruntled girl, the Headmistress asks us to be seated.

"I have important matters to discuss with the both of you," she starts, "students have been telling me of the teaching methods of Professor Granger here and they tell me it is highly effective."

I incline my head, telling the Headmistress I agree. Those dunderheads actually do learn something I must admit.

"I was wondering if Hermione could stay for quite a lengthy period as your assistant Severus,"

I could see through Hermione's swollen eyes that there is excitement and twinkle. The twinkle in her eyes whenever she is given the opportunity to learn more used to sicken me, but now, it makes me smile.

"Headmistress, if I could be so kind," I start. I try to make it seem that I don't want Hermione to be here, although I would want her to be with me – forever, "but need I remind you that Hermione has another occupation?"

"I can deal with that matter Severus," McGonagall announces.

I tried (maybe not to my fullest potential, but that doesn't matter, I still tried).

"Well then in that case, I have nothing further to say. Miss. Granger can stay if she likes."

"Really, you wouldn't mind me being your assistant?" she asks me beaming. She obviously forgot she was mad at me. Even with her puffy eyes she's still so beautiful. I give a silent sigh in my head.

"I don't think I'd have a choice. Besides, I wouldn't mind taking a few breaks here and there," I reply.

After a few more minutes finishing and rechecking the paper work that will need to be done, the Headmistress dismisses Hermione.

"Severus, I would like a word with you," she tells me.

I remain seated while Hermione leaves and I wait patiently. I knew I was going to be questioned on Hermione's state. I'm sure it would be more than just a word that Minerva and I will be exchanging though.

"Would you care for some tea Severus?" she asks me politely once Hermione had closed the doors.

"That would be most appreciated Headmistress, yes," I answer.

Pouring her and me a cup of tea, she places it in front of me on her polished table. If only my table could be like that. I have stacks of papers scattered everywhere along my desk. She walks over to the opposite side of the table and sits on her armchair.

"Severus, I'll cut to the chase. Please tell me you have also noticed Hermione's state of depression."

"It would be hard to miss, Headmistress," I drawl. I try to hide my interest on the subject at hand – Hermione.

"Please tell me what on earth is going on."

I sit there and I am hesitant. I certainly don't want to tell my former colleague and now my Headmistress on my abiding love for the Granger girl and how I want to live with her forever and Claim her and…. Stop. I can't think such things. I must stop and contain myself. Before I could find a suitable answer for her though, the Headmistress butts in.

"Severus, if I daresay, I think you have feelings for the girl."

She's eyeing me now. I hate it when she does that, as if she can see past my superb barriers. She makes me feel as if even though I'm highly skilled in Occlumency she can somehow drive through my barriers and find what she wants – what I'm hiding. I scrunch my face up in dismay showing her that she had just proposed the most disgusting and unthinkable idea.

"No, of course I don't have feelings for the Granger girl. As you know Headmistress, I am incapable of having such feelings."

The Headmistress chuckles as though she knew otherwise. Women.

"Oh come off it Severus. People change and God knows how much you've changed since you've met Hermione,"

I've changed? Minerva isn't the first person who has told me this. Draco has also said I've changed too.

"So, do you care to explain her current state?" Minerva repeats sounding business-like now.

I give a heavy sigh before I reply. My eyes droop as if I was reliving a horrible nightmare and am deeply pained by it.

"Miss. Granger and I had a little argument."

"A _little _argument?" Minerva responds disbelievingly. Merlin, this woman isn't easy to convince. "Heavens Severus, I'm sure if it had just been a little argument poor Hermione's eyes wouldn't look as if she had been poorly transfigured into a goldfish."

"On the contrary Headmistress, the Granger girl takes everything to the heart, and everything I say offensively."

She gives me a stern look.

Eventually, I give another sigh and give in. I know I won't be able to hold this front for long; Minerva will eventually squeeze it out of me even if she has to use Veritaserum. Ahem. Not to mention, I am the one who brews them. Well. Me, and Hermione brews them now when we have the spare time. I have to say, in not having to be a double spy; it saves a lot of time. I start to wonder how I did it. I am, though, losing my belly that I've grown living like a drunkard. All this teaching and especially the bloody urchins that have no care for potions and manners whatsoever, and not to mention; run around like loose chickens with their heads chopped off has got a lot to do with my belly losing, I'm sure of it. And I must say, I do rather miss point-deducting.

"She stayed up until a very late hour for me to return to my quarters."

There is silence. It seems that the Headmistress is thinking. Not a good sign in my point of view. Who knows what goes through that woman's head. I'm silently praying it's nothing too astonishing and far-fetched.

"And then what happened?" I could tell suspicions are forming in that mind. Help.

"We had argued and apparently I had offended her. I don't know why she was so offended, I haven't done anything I haven't done before," I add. I try hard to make myself sound innocent.

Again there was silence.

"Could it be," Minerva starts lightly. Another horrible sign. Amazing, in spending years with someone, you tend to notice their habits. I see even with my disconnection with the world for so long, I seem to not have lost my touch, "that Hermione might have, oh shall we say certain, feelings for you?"

I wish that were true. Oh how I wish that were true.

"I doubt it. She hates me and I know that for a fact."

"I don't know about that Severus, it is rather surprising that you have come back to Hogwarts with a woman let alone her being Hermione. It's even more surprising that it is Hermione," she points out.

She and I take a sip of our tea.

"So, what exactly was the situation?"

It's inevitable. "I was out for a while, tending to matters," there's no need for her to know what I was doing exactly, "and returned to my quarters at a late hour. When I returned, I saw Hermione in my room looking fumed and in front of her on my table stood a teapot and two teacups. She had asked where I had been and I thought there was no reason for her to know – nor was it any of her business," I pause to give time for the Headmistress to digest the information.

"Severus," the old woman calls.

I raise my eyebrow, "Minerva?" I reply.

"Please try to treat her with respect," she sighs.

"If I could be so bold Headmistress, but I do treat her with more than the respect she deserves," which is totally untrue, "After classes I give her more privacy than she needs. If I don't need to, I try not to acknowledge her existence, I'm sure she's most contented."

She gives me a stern look, "You know exactly what I mean Severus. Kindness, care; appreciate her existence and _acknowledge_ her." She tells me.

"Everybody in the castle – no – every living soul in the whole of Europe knows and believes I don't have a heart Minerva," I tell her coldly, "Kindness and care would be hard to produce if one such as I didn't have a heart."

Pity. I've never seen anyone showing pity for me. Well, Hermione has. Minerva softens her hawk-like eyes and shows pity and maybe…yes…compassion, that is what I can also see. Never in my life has anyone showed me pity or compassion at the same time, nor have I ever expected to receive them. Minerva's look is uneasy for me as I am not used to having someone feel sorry for me. I turn my head and look away.

"Son," she calls. I'm startled. Son? No one has ever called me son. Not even my brainless fool of a man whom I have had the bitterness and displeasure of being forced to call "Father". Minerva, I don't mind so much.

"Son," she calls again and this time I look at her in the eye and my icy glares melt into warm tears. "I know you have suffered great amounts of cold-heartedness and dispassion. I also know you went to a huge extent to save the wizarding race and now they are repaying you with their foul snarls and remarks. It pains me to see you like this everyday, and it also pains others around you. You are not like what they say Severus and you know that. Do not force yourself to believe what others say about you and then executing that belief in your everyday life. Stop acting the way you think others will 

accept you as just because they talk like this about you. I repeat, you are NOT like this Severus. You, me, and Hermione know you are not and so do many other people. Look around you Severus. Open your eyes. Look further. There are people around you who care so much for you and would give you the world to see you happy if they could. I know you've had a truly tough time when you were just a few years younger than you are now, and it seems your life has not changed a bit and is still going just as bad. If I daresay, tough may not even been the word to describe your life. You are so intelligent, brave and courageous. You face all of your troubles head on and wisely and, alone. Just look around, there are so many people who would love to help you and make you feel as if you are not alone. Let them help you. Let her help you," she finishes and a tear drop tickles her cheek as it drops from her teary eyes.

I am tearing too. I haven't cried in ages and I'm scared that once I've gotten started, it'd just flow like a dam being burst. I don't know what to say. I so want to hold onto Minerva. Should I? I haven't embraced someone in a long while. I'm scared. Maybe I shouldn't. Minerva comes to me instead. She puts her hands on my shoulders and stares into my tearing eyes. Naturally, as if my brain is programmed to, I lean in and hold onto Minerva. It feels good - holding someone. It's like holding my mother.

"She cares for you Severus," I hear Minerva say gently as she holds onto me. Goodness, I'm crying like a baby. If it weren't for my emotional state, I'd be highly embarrassed if Minerva saw me crying like this and I'd most likely hide my embarrassment with a sneer. I just listen.

"The first day you came back Hermione and I spoke. She told me of the events that happened prior to when you came to Hogwarts and retook the post and she also didn't fail to tell me her thoughts and her feelings. She worries for your well being Severus. She told me, but I could see it in her eyes. Hermione cares immensely for you," she concludes.

By now, I'm already facing her. I worked a charm to clean her robes and wipe my face. Now, if someone were to look at me, they wouldn't be able to suspect the slightest inkling of me crying. The only ones who will know are me and Minerva. I don't have to ask her to keep her mouth shut about this; she will already know what I expect. I love her. Not sentimentally of course, but like a mother. I love Minerva like my mother.

I know she knows I understand what she has told me. She will no doubt expect changes on the way I treat Hermione now. She definitely doesn't want to see anymore false transfigurations of goldfishes. I stand up from the chair and walk towards the door. Before I disappear behind it, I look back and give Minerva a nod and I turn around abruptly and dramatically so that my billowing cape fans effectively behind me.

I'm having lunch now. Turkey sandwiches and Garden Salad. I prefer chicken, but turkey is alright too. As usual, I have my traumatic and unnerving looks on my face. Students are scared of me. I know and I don't really mind. It puts them at their place. Juliet is trying to make polite conversation with me. I daresay she's flirting. I just nod, but this time, I'm careful. I DO NOT wish to have another meeting with her on a Friday night and result in Hermione and I having another argument. That WILL NOT look good on my part as Minerva wishes for me to treat her with respect and kindness…and care…. I also do not wish to hurt Hermione again. I feel I need to discuss this matter with her. Perhaps tonight. If she allows me.

Juliet has touched my hand. In response I jerk it away but hide it as I didn't expect her to touch me and I am wanting another sandwich. I cannot allow this to happen. I must make my feelings clear to her and that I do not see us with a future. I will not tell her though, that I have someone completely different in mind that I entail on sharing my future. She's surprised. I can see it through the corner of my eyes, but she quickly brushes it off as an accident. Right now, I have a lot to do. I'm mentally thinking up of an idea to have Hermione forgive me and perhaps we could start anew. On top of that I'm thinking of ways to tell Juliet that I am NOT interested, and I don't think I'll ever be. No. correction, I KNOW I will never be. I have also been constantly thinking about the day my house was raided. Who could've stolen my book? Why would they want it? Is that all that was taken? I hope so. There are very powerful curses and potions in there.

Hermione has left. I watched her back all the way until I saw her robes disappear behind the doors. Her springy, messy hair used to annoy me. She now has grown into a fine woman with delicate curves. Her breasts are neither small, nor large. Just enough to fit into my hands. She looks exquisite in those robes. It is lavender purple and quite like mine. She has a long Purple dress-like robe that is a button-up that starts on her chest and ends at her waist. The collar is chin-high, like mine, but she leaves a small opening just enough to see her throat down to her chest just above where her cleavage line begins to show. It is the same fabric as mine and looks crisp. Her robes are much longer than mine. Her collars and sleeve cuffs are of a darker purple and made of satin. These robes hug her figure comfortably and accent her delicate curves. As for her outer robe, it is not like mine is a cape, but more like McGonagall's. I guess that's the style for women's robes. It is dark purple and is satin to match her collar and her sleeve cuffs. Sigh.

After drinking my last bit of the pumpkin juice, I wipe my mouth and excuse myself from the table. As I stride towards the end of the Great Hall and through the doors, I hear my name called. It's Juliet. I don't bother turning around and I head straight towards the doors.

I best get most of my marking done, though I already know most of the marks I'll be giving out. Dimwits. I enter my classroom and stride across the floor to my desk that is seated in front of the room. I'm staring down at my two 7 inch piles of the hopeless 5 year's 15 inch essays on the effects of the _Befuddlement Draught_, and also a brief explanation on where you would find its ingredients and what are the roles of each of the ingredients: _Scurvy-grass, Lovage, and Sneezewort_.

Sigh. I pick up the first essay and glance at it. I already see one major mistake. Giving that I thought the thick-headed 5 years would know to look up the ingredients if they didn't know them, I guess it's my fault for thinking too highly of them. This idiot says the ingredient _Armadillo Bile_ will be needed for this potion. I take out my blood red ink and the self-cleaning quill Tonks and Remus bought for me for Christmas. I scribble on the corner of the parchment with my spider-like writing: _"You have described the affects and uses for Armadillo Bile with precision Mr. Samuels. Need I remind you though, that Armadillo Bile is used for WIT-SHARPENING and NOT for BEFUDDLEMENT DRAUGHT. I don't know who you'll want to befuddle Mr. Samuels but I can guarantee you will NOT BE VERY SUCCESSFUL IN DOING SO. You want to CONFUSE your victim and NOT MAKE YOUR VICTIM SMARTER! I expect another 15 inch essay on the definition of befuddlement, why Armadillo Bile WILL NOT WORK in this potion, and what is the other ingredient you have so callously overlooked on my desk by the next lesson."_

I have finally finished marking one of the two piles and I am ready for a break. I used to be able to sit and mark for hours and sometimes I miss a meal. I guess it'll come back to me with a bit more practice. I check the time and it says 5:23 p.m. Well I guess it's almost time for dinner, I should be heading up soon. I lean back in my chair and stretch as I close my eyes. I wonder how I'll begin to tell Hermione I'm sorry for the way I've been treating her. I wonder what I'll say. Will I start to tell her I have feelings for her and I really want to live my whole life with her, Claim her, perhaps even – if I've really gone even more insane than I am now – have children with her? Oh gosh Severus, you're really going mad.

I shoot up and check the time: 5:28 p.m. Alright, I'll get a move on. As I approach the Great Hall, Draco walks towards me. It takes much control to not roll my eyes at him.

"Professor," he greets.

I incline my head.

"Mind if I walk with you?"

"_Yes,"_ I think. "No of course not Professor, I'd be delighted."

Thank the Gods Legilimens is not Draco's forte. If it was, he would've known my revenging thoughts on him by this time.

"Did the Headmistress say anything on the Valentine's Day dance?" Draco asks.

I raise my eyebrow, "No," and I leave him to be seated at my place at the Head table.

Just before the dinner starts, Minerva gets up to make a speech. As usual, I have my bored expressions on my face.

"Students," she starts. She only says it once more to get their attention, "Thank you. As you all know, we are now in the second week of January and Valentine's Day is soon to be here. There have been requests from certain students for a Valentine's Day dance and I have decided to arrange one," she pauses professionally knowing that students will start discussing this amongst themselves.

I glance around and see that some Slytherins are groaning. Gryffindors are already talking and looking around animatedly for dates. I grunt. I can't help but chance a glance at Hermione. She's smiling rather serenely, but she looks saddened. Her masks can't fool me. For all I know, I'm probably a master at acting and putting up masks. Surely there should be an award for my kind of acting, and surely it would be granted to me. Years of playing double-spy for the darkest and purest wizards of our time is an extremely difficult and trying task. I risked my life for years. Heck. I still risk my life. Besides, Gryffindors can't act.

I can't help but wonder why she would be saddened. Remembering her thick-headed fool of a "boyfriend" - Krum – I s'pose. If I recall, she had danced with him during the Triwizard Tournament ball. Maybe she's reminiscing. Or maybe, she's hoping for a date. Oh dear, it seems my very 

stupid side of the brain (which – I'd like to make clear – VERY RARELY makes its appearance, until it's on the subject of Hermione that is…) is making sure its voice gets heard again. Sometimes I can't help but agree with it.

"As most of you know, Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year so no classes will be missed or skipped," the Headmistress declares. Another set of groans can be heard. I smirk and snicker. "I have put Professor Granger here in charge of the Valentine's Day Dance. Please allow a few minutes of our dinner time to hear her speak," McGonagall finishes.

Hermione blushes and stands up. Every head in the Great Hall turns to her.

"Hi," she starts, "I know you all are hungry so I'll keep it short and sweet. I will allow eight other people to volunteer to help out with this dance. Unfortunately, only 5th, 6th, and 7th years are allowed to participate in the dance. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years will have a dinner instead," she too pauses so another chorus of groans and disapprovals can start and finish.

"Also – I promise this is the last bit of information until we finish our dinners – Professor Snape is to be the other teacher who will be helping me with this dance," my eyes widen as I see her smirking at me in a rather satisfied smile. Ah, very nice Granger, very nice. I see you're into revenge now are you? Two can play that game. I will make it ever so subtle though, in case the Headmistress finds out. I look at the Headmistress and I see her smiling too, I see, so Minerva is in this too. Women will always support women, just as men will always support men.

"There are a few dances everyone needs to learn, so Professor McGonagall and I have made a schedule. Every Saturdays and Sundays will be for dance practice. Professor Snape and I will be making the schedules for the Houses and will be giving them to the Heads of House, which will further then be posted in your dormitories. Professor Snape and I will also be teaching you how to dance," she finishes. I'm dumbfounded and I try with all my might to hide the bubbling rage that is fighting to let itself out of the pit of my stomach. I must admit though, I am rather amused as are many other students.

We're finally eating as my stomach was growling while I listened to the surprising speech. I thank the Gods that I took it under consideration to join the dance practices that Slytherins had to partake in whilst I was in school. Even though I thought I was a fool then, it certainly gives me an advantage now that I have learned a few dances. The Tango is my favourite. As frightening as it may seem, I am rather into elegance and sophistication. I feel it is a necessity to learn how to dance _properly._ I do think the Tango is a very sexy and sophisticated why of showing your sexual desires for the opposite sex. As it is, the Spaniards do say it is rather like _Sex Standing Up_. Perhaps Hermione and I could share this dance. Next in line comes the Waltz. Need I say? Elegance-on-the-dance-floor-with-a-period is the waltz. The steps are rather easy, but it is so hard to accomplish well and beautifully. The Foxtrot is rather hard. It's quick, and I hope my feet haven't lost its touch. I will definitely need to brush up my dances and maybe buy a new pair of dancing shoes? Perhaps even dress robes. I do remember Hermione telling me I should wear something other than black. Perhaps green? Maybe.

I finally finish my meal and am satisfied with what I've eaten before I decide to retire to my quarters. I haven't talked much to Juliet in hopes she 

gets the hint that I don't want to talk to her. It seems she hasn't for she's still enthusiastically talking about how nice it is in the summer where she lives. I politely excuse myself from our conversation with the excuse of I'm extremely tired and I fear I will be close to scowling at the next person that so much as even breathes too loud. I think I've made my point across and Juliet gives me a curt nod and I'm free.

Again, just before I step out of the Great Hall, I hear my name being called. Juliet. Again, I just keep walking. I can't help my smile. Hermione's playing along and in fact, she's trying to humiliate me.

I'm waiting in my room for Hermione to enter her room. As I wait I'm sitting on my sofa and I close my eyes. If I daresay, I think I'm nervous. I don't know what I'm going to tell her, I don't even know how to start.

I hear the opening and closing of the door next to me. Hermione's returned. I pinch the bridge of my nose, stride across to the hidden cabinet I have that stores bottles of Ogden's fifty year old Firewhisky. It's smooth. None of the rubbish I've been buying for my own use. Thank God I kept these. I pour myself a generous amount and chug it down. Oh that's good. I think things through in my head and now I am ready. I place the glass down and head towards our shared door.

I best knock. What if she's changing? Perhaps I'd like to witness it. No, not now, perhaps I'll be able to later. I knock.

"Yes?" Hermione calls.

"My I come in Professor Granger?" I ask politely.

"Certainly, Professor Snape," she replies.

"_Due Nachnamen gecombineerd,"_ I say. I remember I have to ask Hermione what it means.

She's taken off her shawl-like cape and only has her lavender robes on. I don't mind. Perhaps she can unbutton a few more buttons. Stop Severus. Control yourself.

"Professor," I say and I bow. She's eyeing me suspiciously as if she expects me to hex her at any minute. I'm not all that bad.

"Professor," she answers.

I walk over to her red armchair. It's nice – her quarters. She has red armchairs instead of my green ones. It's more Gryffindor-like than my Slytherin but that's ok. Her four post bed seems comfortable. She has red and gold bed sheets and pillow cases. I see Minerva still favours her most prized Gryffindor.

"May I?" I ask as I point to the armchair.

"You may," after she makes some tea, she walks over and sits in front of me on her couch that faces the armchair. In between us is a wooden and glass coffee table and she places two cups and a teapot. "How may I help you?" she asks.

Here we go. I take in a deep breath and I begin.


	25. Chapter 25

**A.N **i know, i know...i give you permission to kill me. truth is, my health hasn't really been on par and i've been in and out of the hospital. forgive me...but i'll kick start the new year with this chappy. i promise a new chappy or two by the end of the month. oh, i suggest you read chapter 24. please, R&R.

heartaspr.

**Chapter 25**

**Hermione's Thoughts**

"Minerva," I call as I stand behind the heavy wooden doors of the Headmistress' office. The doors open and a cheery Headmistress greets me. I smile in return.

"Come in Hermione, we have much to discuss," she tells me. We do? I thought all the matters we needed to discuss and doctor were done in the morning when Severus and I went to her quarters – the very same quarters I am summoned to now. I hide my confusion as I approach the chairs that stand in front of her table.

"Tea?" the Headmistress offers.

"Yes please,"

There is silence as she pours both her and I a cup of her freshly brewed tea. I don't know what to say, I don't even know why I'm being summoned.

"You know," Minerva starts, "you are truly a brilliant and magnificent young lady."

Oh dear, it's not even 10 minutes into the conversation and I can already feel myself blushing. Is Minerva really trying to embarrass me?

"You flatter me Headmistress," I respond.

"Oh no," she chuckles, "I'm being rather serious. I still remember how bushy and wild your hair was in your first and second year here at Hogwarts as a student. You've grown into a fine woman, and I have been blessed to be one of many who have the privilege of witnessing you grow up," she pauses and looks at me sternly, "I know I'm not the only one who is admiring you from afar."

I'm startled. What on earth is she talking about? Oh God, my cheeks are really turning red.

"Wha-what are you talking about Headmistress?"

"Oh Hermione come off it, you know exactly what I'm talking about,"

We're quiet now. Minerva stands up and 'rounds her polished wooden desk. She sits on the desk in front of me and I look up at her. I've always admired her. She always had a very motherly side to her yet she came across to you as stiff and as strict as a wooden board. I remember the time in my first year while I was at Hogwarts – Halloween, and I was in the girl's lavatory crying my eyes out when a huge troll came waltzing in as if it knew I was in there. Of course, although it pains me to say it, if it wasn't for Harry and Ron I would've been dead by now – I do like to think that with my unending knowledge I'd be able to handle such a stupid troll. And then Professor McGonagall came running in and I could see the anger and concern in her eyes. She scolded us as if were her own children, _"You could've been killed!"_ I smile. She always had her odd little way of showing how much she cared for Harry, Ron and I. If I remember correctly, Professor Snape had also made his presence recognizable during the night of the troll incident. He did look like he was concerned for us – me. Oh, I should stop this. Of course he wasn't concerned for me; it was his job to check to see if everyone was alright. But why did he so conveniently come into the girl's lavatory when he probably knew I was in there. Oh Hermione, of course he didn't know you were in there. He probably came in because he saw the Headmistress there and Professor Quirrell.

"Hermione," the Headmistress calls.

"Hmm?"

"I've spoken to Professor Snape. He has spoken to me of the events prior today and he is deeply sorry and he says he feels regret," she explains.

Ah, so this is what she has summoned me for.

"Can such a man feel such things?" I say and I turn my head away.

"Now, now Hermione, you don't mean that. You know his true colours; you know how he truly is,"

"Do I Headmistress? He is ever so talented in the art of act. How do I know he wasn't just acting or showing me what I wanted to see so that I'll get off his back?"

"Hermione," she's staring at me sternly now. I know I'm getting her angry and agitated – she cares immensely for Snape, "I can say with utter confidence that Severus Snape does not shed tears and break down for the sake of pleasing and satisfying another. He is simply not the type – trust me, it has taken years since he graced me with some salty tears that fall from those eyes of his," she replied.

I look at her and I melt down. I can't help it, I can't stand these feelings anymore; they're too much for me. I need someone to tell this to, someone to share my burden.

"Headmistress, I'm sorry, it's just, I-I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused, and I'm so hurt. I don't know what to do; I don't know what to think. I try to keep my head up, really I do. I don't try to show everyone I'm in distress. Merlin, I don't even know why I'm in distress. Why should I care? But I do care, I do. I care so much for him, I understand what he needs and I want to give him what he needs but he always pushes me away. When I feel I'm so close, I look again and really, I'm so far from him. It's like during the night, while I'm asleep - when I'm not looking, it's like he secretly gets up from the spot that I've left him at and moves further away from me. And when I wake up, I can't see him, he's too far – too distant. And then I start to wonder, 'Was it me? Did I do something? Had I said something the night before? Or did I not do something? Was I supposed to have said something I didn't say? Was I supposed to have done something I didn't do?' I've given him everything and more. I've given him my time, my patience, my care, my love, everything. What more can I give him? What more does he want from me? Headmistress, I'm going mad – insane. Headmistress," I look up at her in desperation, "help me."

The Headmistress' eyes soften and she holds out her hand to take mine. I lean in towards her and I hold onto her like a baby clinging onto her mother. I start to sob and she rubs my back.

"Hermione dear, I can only begin to fathom how you feel. You are a strong girl and a very brave one if I might add. It's not everyday a young lady decides to take on the task of taming and helping the most feared Potions Master. It's not a wonder why many people envy you. Hermione, look at me, look at me. Listen, I know it's hard, but I know this is the right thing for him – I know you are the right person for him. No one would be able to take on this task as professionally as you do. It is also hard for him, trust me. He is not used to someone caring for him. Most of all, he's afraid. He distances himself from people who try to bring themselves closer to him because he's afraid that one day – someday, they'd leave him and he'd rather have refrain that loss from happening by being so cold and cruel than to have fallen for the trap and have that person be so cruelly and painfully seized from him. Be gentle with him – cautious. Don't try and force yourself onto him, take it a step at a time. Let him come to you at times – he will, trust me. If he needs something or someone, he will go to them, however painful it is for him, he went to Albus didn't he, and Merlin knows how hard that had to be for him."

I chuckle and I wipe away my tears. At least the Headmistress is supporting me.

"Thank you," I whisper.

She smiles. Headmistress' face really does look beautiful when she smiles.

"Now, with that being said, I daresay Severus does deserve some sort of punishment, don't you agree?" she says and gives me a wink.

I prop up, "I could not have said it better myself, Headmistress."

"And to think I have just the plan too! You see, there have been a few requests for a Valentine's Day dance this year, I was wondering if you'd like to be in charge of it. You'd be able to decide anything you like, I give you my consent already, all I ask is this; please do let your imagination run wild, even if you must invite a certain, oh shall we say, bat-like vampire to the dance and to help you do some of your chores, by all means do so," and she gives me another wink.

I laugh; I know just the thing to get Snape. Who knows, I might even be able to get him to get himself a new set of dress robes – green perhaps, and it gives me an excuse to get myself some new dress robes too! I get up from my seat, thank the Headmistress again and leave her quarters. Before I leave though she says, "He will return your love and care in due time, I'm sure of it," It leaves me with a hopeful heart.

Dinnertime, I do hope Severus will show up, I have a surprise for him. I finish marking the last of the 3rd years' tests and place my quill in its holder. I turn to the check the time and it says 5:25 p.m. Five minutes early and I shrug and start to make my way to the Great Hall for dinner.

As I sit at my seat at the front of the Great Hall I look around and I start to think. What or how will Severus react? And I smile. I can only imagine the look on his face. I only have one word to describe it – dumbfounded. And my smile widens. He would just be staring at me in total loss for words and I will just be smiling back innocently, perhaps even giving a small teasing wave. I start to chuckle. Apparently my chuckle is a bit too loud because Draco turns his head and looks at me questioningly.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Hmm, oh, nothing," I reply.

"Where were you today? I went to your quarters to try and find you to see if you wanted to go take a walk with me today."

"Oh, I was busy, sorry."

"Busy?" he asks.

YES BUSY! JESUS, MUST HE BE SO PERSISTANT?

"Yes, I was busy tending to matters," I say politely.

Ah, it is time. Severus has taken his seat and the Headmistress is ready to start the dinner.

"Students," she starts. She only says it once more to get their attention, "Thank you. As you all know, we are now in the second week of January and Valentine's Day is soon to be here. There have been requests from certain students for a Valentine's Day dance and I have decided to arrange one," she pauses professionally knowing that students will start discussing this amongst themselves.

"As most of you know, Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year so no classes will be missed or skipped," the Headmistress declares. Another set of groans can be heard. I smirk and snicker. "I have put Professor Granger here in charge of the Valentine's Day Dance. Please allow a few minutes of our dinner time to hear her speak," McGonagall finishes.

"Hi," I start, "I know you all are hungry so I'll keep it short and sweet. I will allow eight other people to volunteer to help out with this dance. Unfortunately, only 5th, 6th, and 7th years are allowed to participate in the dance. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years will have a dinner instead," I too pause so another chorus of groans and disapprovals can start and finish.

"Also – I promise this is the last bit of information until we finish our dinners – Professor Snape is to be the other teacher who will be helping me with this dance," I turn to look at Severus to see his reaction. Dumbfounded; exactly as I have foreseen and I start to chuckle to myself. I'm careful though as to not letting other people see me as amused as I am. I give myself a moment before I recollect my composure and continue.

"There are a few dances everyone needs to learn, so Professor McGonagall and I have made a schedule. Every Saturdays and Sundays will be for dance practice. Professor Snape and I will be making the schedules for the Houses and will be giving them to the Heads of House, which will further then be posted in your dormitories. Professor Snape and I will also be teaching you how to dance," I finish and I take my seat.

Dinner, I must say, was quite eventful. I close the door to my quarters and I take my shawl off. I am rather tired though. I am ready to make my way to my lavatory when I hear a small knock on the door.

Yes?" I call.

"My I come in Professor Granger?" the voice asks politely.

"Certainly, Professor Snape," I reply.

Professor Snape waltzes into my bedroom.

"Professor," he says and bows. I'm eyeing him suspiciously as if I expect him to hex me at any minute.

"Professor," I answer.

He walks over to my armchair as I prepare some tea for us.

"May I?" he asks as he points to the armchair.

"You may," I reply and I place the teacups and teapot on the coffee table. "How may I help you?" I ask.

He takes in a deep breath and he begins.


End file.
